Insane rise in home schooling?

[whyohwhy246]

Has anyone else noticed a huge increase in home schooling? Someone I follow in IG has just deregistered their child and I just can’t believe how many families are choosing to do this.

Of course it is sometimes the right choice for the child but it seems that more and more children are being allowed to opt out of formal education.

Teenagers need to learn that life is hard and school will throw challenges at them. How they learn to deal with this impacts how they handle things as an adult. What happens when they enter the work place and they can’t just opt out of the difficult things? Where do they learn that resilience?

I have worked in education for 20 years and whilst I agree that some aspects of the system are broken, I don’t think home schooling is the answer to this.

The social aspect alone is impossible to replicate (walking to school together, having your first crush, a detention, school trips I could go on and on…) but I also don’t see how all of these parents can have the skills to teach their children to GCSE. I also find it so insulting to teachers who spend years learning their craft. It’s not just something you can pick up and do effectively.

Has anyone else noticed this?

It’s called masking cos she’d would of had her whole life, and cos she a woman she’d of been sidelined all her life cos it’s only been recently that women get dx at all

He’s only been diagnosed a few months ago. We are now waiting for the meds. Hopefully this will make a difference

I'm generally cautious about home schooling, and think it's not the best for some. However schools can really mess people up. I felt really threatened and not comfortable at school in a way that doesn't really exist in work places - at least that I've encountered. I think resilience is important but sometimes just bypassing nasty experiences when you're young and vulnerable can help you more than living through them does.

I get what your saying and I'm not saying that doesn't happen but that's not the case here. I know this woman, very, very well and for a long time.

If she has adhd than I must have turbo boosted adhd.

Schools are broken. I spent 10 years teaching in mainstream and I would never, ever send my children to a mainstream school. They go to a small alternative school at the moment but I love and appreciate home ed and imagine this is where they will end up as teens.

School was a horrible experience for many of us and there’s no reason why we feel the need to inflict that on our children (speaking generally - I don’t have DC myself).

@whyohwhy246 , you are funny! I have no particular feelings about dinner ladies nor did I express any. The way you jump to conclusions does rather make doubt your judgement.
I wouldn’t be guessing as to your role of 20 years in education if you would just tell us. Not a teacher, not a dinner lady…
Are you going to enlighten us?

Not when it comes to paying for exams it isnt !

The line that stood out to me the most was this:

'My experience does make me wonder: are students confusing the normal feelings of adolescence and a lack of resilience with poor mental health? There are very distinct differences between diagnosed anxiety and feeling anxious about certain situations, but many parents and children in elective home education (EHE) are approaching them as the same thing.'

I would agree with this. Adolescence can be hard. Puberty can be hard. Senior school can be hard (as can primary). Peer relationships can be difficult to navigate etc etc etc. But, are parents doing more harm than good by 'solving' the problem for their kids who are finding it hard and not allowing them to experience normal, stressful, awkward, difficult situations?

Yes, this does exclude SEN children who may need additional support for the above (and indeed learning). But at it stands today, SEN kids are not the majority.

I don't agree that school doesn't work for the majority of children. I do think we are too quick to say it doesn't though.

I’ve read about half of this thread and I haven’t seen any acknowledgment of the role parents play in raising children who behave in antisocial ways or who are over sensitive.

Bullying doesn’t appear out of nowhere, these behaviours are learned somewhere. Difficult behaviour has always existed but it does seem more widespread now. Not all unpleasant behaviour is bullying. Sometimes, a child who struggles with social skills may label a situation as bullying, when in reality their peers are reacting to behaviours they find disruptive or annoying.

There also is a rise in overprotection. Our year 7s went on an outdoors trip for 2 nights and the number of (mostly boy mums) who moaned and complained that their precious little darling would get wet (it rained) didn't like the food (so was starving) or isn't included in the photos the poor teacher mange to upload.

Some children are so shielded from discomfort that they struggle to cope with normal challenges or conflict. If children are never allowed to experience frustration or failure, they may not develop resilience. I think tat's what OP means.

I also disagree with the idea that schools generally work well for NT children. They might appear to cope better simply because they don’t react as visibly or intensely but that doesn’t mean the system meets their needs.

Likewise, many neurodivergent (ND) children might thrive in smaller, more nurturing and supportive school environments and many ND indeed absolutely love their normal neighbourhood high school.

I think the culture today is cold and there is MUCH less community spirit about. It's a bit sad that in society people want to avoid each other but I can see how it happens and why some parents choose this.

I appreciate this is your experience and I do think it is an individual experience but schools aren't broken. Aspects of them are....but consider my children (because again we can only speak from individual experience without being able to accurately make sweeping generalisations) have had a great time throughout their education. I am happy with the schools my kids have gone to. They have done really well mentally, academically, socially, physically etc.

Rares are rising for anxiety, and diagnoses of ADHD & autism needing reasonable accommodations in the classroom, for sure. And yes, parents can help with this by ensuring very young children get enough time outdoors, moving, socialising with peers and doing creative activities.

But then parents are required to hand them over at the age of 4, where many primaries in this country are only geared up to process them en masse if they are compliant, quiet, middle-of-the-road kids. Starting each day with silence and stillness on the mat, followed by a round of phonics where it quickly becomes clear to all 30 in a class who is good at it & who isn't, is a surefire way to get any child outside of the middle wound up to a point they are nervous and scared about going in to school each day.

Parents repeat this story up and down the country. The science is very clear that once a child's nervous system is in sympathetic mode (adrenaline & cortisol up, fight/flight/freeze/fawn) rather than a chilled out parasympathetic state, their brains are so overwhelmed that they can't effectively take in new information or learn easily anyway.

Add to this the impact of a revolving door of teachers & TAs (my eldest was in Year 6 before he had the same teacher 5 days a week for a full school year, and he just about coped, but plenty of his peers got left behind because they were on permanent alert as they had no human connection with a 'key person' in the classroom for all of their formative years), and you've got a perfect environment to maximise the number of pupils who can't cope with a "normal" school day.

The over-academicisation of the UK primary curriculum is directly responsible for driving UP the number of children needing additional support. Reasonable adjustments like letting 6 year olds move more often than every 45 minutes and starting the day with movement and tactile tasks, not abstract phonics and maths shouldn't need a 2 year legal battle with a local authority. Other countries understand this is how 4-8 years olds SHOULD be learning. Every day!

Yes, there are some enlightened schools who manage it. But there are plenty who stoke the fires of anxiety and neurodevelopmental conditions far beyond what children could, in better circumstances, be capable of coping with.

Senior schools are now so enormous, and such a machine, that many pupils are having to eat at times of day that would prevent me - as an adult - from functioning anything approaching my best. Add in a lack of action on poor behaviour from their peers, agressive sound & lighting environments, stupid uniform rules/nowhere they can use within the time available between lessons to put a coat, so they are dripping wet from the walk in, fewer outlets for creative subjects & movement because of prioritising highly academic subjects and no.

I'm not surprised the number of children being opted out of mainstream schooling is on the rise.

Successive governments have chosen to cut budgets and prioritise lower tax rates ahead of giving the education science proves is effective to the next generation. Sure Start centres were decimated by the Conservatives, despite improving health, education & criminal justice outcomes & costing communities & councils far, far less over the long term.

We know what needs to be done to keep more young people in mainstream education. But no-one wants to pick up the bill for making it about more than cookie-cutter compliance.

School is a one fits all model and it doesn’t suit everyone.

Teachers are over-worked and under-paid.

I was a child who could hear what a teacher said, or read a book and remember it. I was in the top sets for everything. Teachers loved teaching me. Exams were a doddle as I work best under pressure. I’m in the minority. Intelligence is measured by book smartness and that’s not really fair. Some of my family members are very intelligent but not according to their GCSEs. Obviously a teacher can’t teach 30+ children to each exacting style. There has to be a certain amount of herd control and hoping you can teach the average amount of children a decent amount. Some children are disruptive for many reasons and it’s restrictive to teach lessons for 45 minutes/1 hour. What if you want to know more? I was bored at school because I was waiting for other children to catch up. I was forced to drop either Geography or History (A* in both and enjoyed them) because the curriculum said I had to do PE. I’m not sporty. Exceptions cannot be made for individual children (understandably) so it doesn’t suit everyone.

It’s a shame with all your teaching experience that you don’t realise that putting people in difficult situations doesn’t build resilience. Resilience comes from a supportive environment. Sink or swim rarely works. School isn’t supportive of maybe pupils and it’s not tailored for the individual.

I remember calling out a pupil for lying. She cried and I was in trouble for making her cry. Not her for lying. I remember thinking as a child, how unfair and what a bullshit system where calling out a liar is ‘not very nice’. In my line of work lying could kill someone.

School doesn’t set you up for work. It teaches heard mentality and no thinking outside the box. How many people use algebra at work? I do. I’ll be in the minority.

There are bullies, knife crime, silly rules for rules-sake and no fish/nuts etc which are healthy to eat. Parents running around to parents evenings where the teacher can’t remember Sophie from Sophia. The homework is overwhelming and the pressure for exams (for the benefit of the school) is immense.

I don’t think I’ll be sending my children to school.

Ridiculous to make that generalisation. I'm not neurotypical, and I had a wonderful time at school. There are plenty like me. Not all children are the same. Some will thrive at school, some won't.

I don't think it's particularly helpful to shield them from the world in this way, though. They're going to have to go out there and be in big groups of people and work with them at some point. School is brilliant practice for this.

But its the cost of you not being able to work, or having to seriously limit your work to fit it around your childs education

I think the discussion is very nuanced. There are absolutely homeschooling parents who fail their children by home schooling them but there are absolutely schools thay are failing children. I agree that children need to be taught resillience but I dont think this is done by expecting them to deal with bullying. There are lots of other ways of teaching children not to give up when the going gets tough.

I dont home school but am considering it as my DD is very bright and so much of her learning time is spend in school on crowd control. I feel the school are absolutely failing her and she is not reaching her potential. I think she woukd learn so much more homeschooled.

I’m not sure what your point is? My kid has ADHD and generally doesn’t behave in an antisocial way. He sometimes has certain behaviours that he cannot help which seem to get him into trouble in school.
Outside of school he has his friends, they do normal kid stuff, they go to the cinema, play football, go bowling. He knows the difference between right and wrong. He isn’t some antisocial ASBO wielding kid who I haven’t brought up correctly.
Equally his younger sibling has ASD and is on the higher end of the spectrum. She does a lot of stimming such as stamping her feet, screaming, and hitting herself. These behaviours seem to be triggered by something, even if it’s something small that wouldn’t trigger most people but it happens ‘out of the blue’ and something has triggered it. If she did this in mainstream school she would most definitely be sent to sanctions and get detention for this ‘behaviour’. Luckily she doesn’t attend a mainstream school but are you trying to say that I’m responsible as a parent for raising my kids in what you call ‘antisocial’ ways?

Would home school my youngest in a flash if I thought he needed it, but even though his secondary school is shite, I think he's best staying there atm for some normality, and a fair crack at socialising. The education being delivered is far worse than I could deliver though - I learnt this the hard way with my eldest who went from predicted 8's and 9's, to 3's and 4's in mocks (his appalling attitude was also to blame tbf) - I had to spend 9 months of my life becoming a home tutor for his GCSE's in the end. The resources available now are very good and actually, a lot of schools use the same resources anyway. I feel like there's a huge change brewing in the education system, and something is going to crack very soon.

And some parents also foster this anxiety at home, too much screen time since they're babies, never allowed to just be bored and entertain themselves, not let out to play or resolve their friendship issues by themselves until they are at university and away form mummy's watchful eye and anxious and controlling nature. Any kind of unkind behaviour in the playground is labelled bullying when kids just naturally are exploring and establishing boundaries. Not allowed to clim trees

Not being allowed to make their own food (make sandwich, prepare cereals, or a salad wash up bowl when they're 4 and above, parent walking them to school until they are 11, driving them everywhere, letting them have social media at 8, not ever being left at home until they are older teenagers, not letting older sibling look fear younger ones as not fair or safe. All this fosters anxiety.

OP, I think you are making a lot of assumptions about a massive community of people.

I taught secondary for over a decade and have now home educated for several years. There are endless social opportunities...so many as a parent, I have to be selective about what my children do otherwise we would be out of the house non stop for learning/social/sports/STEM/forest school/ art groups etc etc. Home educated children learn resilience, have lots of interaction with peers, time with peers away from their primary caregivers, sit exams... I could go on and on. Also the education can be tailored to them so well to accommodate neurodivergence, personal interests, strengths.

As a former teacher, I know that so much time is wasted in school whereas I can teach my children something so quickly versus the time it takes teaching 30 plus students... the same way a tutor can cover things more quickly (or slowly, if needed. Talking of tutors, plenty of home educated young people are accessing tutors regularly and also learning in groups and clubs weekly.. your post suggests you assume the parents are solely delivering the learning, or online sources.

My children have good friends, are making great progress academically and are enjoying their childhood.

I would urge anyway reading news articles (the I oversee 700 families one for example) with a huge pinch of salt as there is a big smear campaign on currently.

My child will be home schooled from September. He will be in year 7. We gave him a variety of options and this was his choice. We gave him all the different options which were grammar school, private school and local state. He didn't want state classes too big. Got into bed private bit sadly can't make it work and then the grammar wouldnt take him as we arent in the catchment and from all of the schools local to us they only take 7 and if not school would be an hour or more away each day. We chose a great school they do everything school does but we have resources for the bits it dosent

To be honest I'm not surprised home schooling has increased. Parents want to keep kids safe and given today's world it's the best option

I have explained my point and am unsure why you are taking it personally. Have I said anything about kids with ADHD or autism being anti social?

Three ND children I know had education as an uphill struggle for them for several years when in school (and in 2 cases, their parents and foster carers were very on the ball trying to get special school provision for them, but not making progress and it being a very long haul).

Lockdown came and all of them thrived in a really surprising way with the remote schooling. They didn't all get the same 'home based school with parents' option - one was in school, aged about 15, but using a computer much more than in the earlier classroom based situation, and most often learning alone. It was a clear and totally unexpected turnaround for all 3, within about 2 weeks.

My DC is NT, creative, in mainstream school, a good student. But is now hating the experience despite working at least 6 days a week on taught hours and homework. The policies that govern what is done, how often tested, and how they can choose (e.g. options) seem to kill as much enthusiasm as they can, and they often seem to be pulling in 2 different directions from one another. It's not an easy thing to see.

Sara Sharif was not home educated.

Sara Sharif was removed from school with full knowledge of social services and after specific concerns about physical abuse.

Sara Sharif was entirely on the radar of social services and died despite this - as have many children removed from school where there are already concerns and already significant social services attention.

Sara Sharif died in the school holidays. August

"When in March 2023, Sara's school reported to Children's Services that she had a golf ball-sized bruise on her cheek the request for support was graded "Amber".

This meant it should be dealt with within 24 hours. The social worker did not check what information Surrey Police held on the family, and they did not speak to the school to inquire more about Sara's change in demeanour.

The next month Urfan Sharif took his daughter out of school. The review found that she "effectively disappeared from view".

Surrey County Council had a policy of making home visits to children being home-schooled. The Sharif family had recently moved from a small flat in West Byfleet to a house in Woking. The school knew this and had informed the Council.

The review found that "address on the referral form sent by the school was the new address but the old address remained on the electronic system used by the inclusion team."

It meant that when the home education team went round to check on Sara on 7 August 2023 they went to the old address.

The next day Sara - already tortured, battered and burned - was murdered by Urfan Sharif and her stepmother Beinash Batool.

This murder had nothing to do with home education. It was entirely down to social services failure. "

I would have no issues with stricter controls on a registration of children being home schooled so that the standard and consistency can be monitored. Also welfare can be checked.

However I would like that to go hand in hand with a greater mechanism of whistle blowing so that parents can more easily report schools who absolutely fail to take appropriate action in cases of bullying. I would like to see greater accountability outside the toothless form filling and denial that goes on in a lot of schools. There should be a mechanism outside of OFSTED whereby it can be reported if a child is physically assaulted during school so that the school is accountable.