Dd party invites

[catnap56]

My dd attends two childcare settings - the local pre school and a private nursery. I am planning a party for her birthday in May and will obviously invite kids from both settings. However this means there will be quite a lot. Wibu to just invite the children she sees on her days? For example she only goes to the preschool on a Thursday/Friday so there are some kids she never sees and doesn’t really know? This will help me keep numbers at a reasonable level.
I have had an invite this week for a party of a child she doesn’t attend with so I’m guessing that parent has just invited the whole lot. I would probably do this if she only attended one setting but I just think it could get really packed and full of kids she doesn’t know if I do this for both.

Of course you wouldn't be unreasonable to just invite the children your DD knows. At my DCs' nursery, some children have whole class parties, and others have smaller parties, and you only tend to know about those if your child is invited.

However, I'd also say that it would be unusual at our nursery for children who don't attend together to go to each others' parties. They might just have circulated the invitation to everyone because they don't know all the kids and haven't got the individual parents' numbers, but if I'd never heard of the child and my DC didn't attend with them, I wouldn't actually go to the party.

Why would anyone invite children to a birthday party that their child has never really met? I can understand inviting a whole reception class (for example, if funds/space permit which they do not always!) as they spend a lot of time together but if your child has never really overlapped with them, why would they get an invite? I think the other family are being a bit OTT to invite your child, most people would do as you are doing or have an even smaller group of 5 or 6 close "friends" plus parents, which was more common when my 6 year old was that age. We attended 2 childcare settings and had children from each, it would never have crossed my mind to invite children from the afternoon session of his school nursery when we were in the morning one.

@cardboard33 if the school nursery offers mornings only or afternoons only, then obviously your child isn't really in the same class as children in the other session. But at many nurseries children will attend different combinations of days, so it can be easier to just stick a whole-class invitation on the class app. Mostly parents wouldn't actually accept unless their child knows your child. Unless they are totally oblivious and don't know who their child's friends are.

Just invite the children she plays with.

Just invite the children she sees at nursery on her days, YANBU. I wouldn’t take my child to a party for someone they’d never seen before.

You re asking should you invite kids she doesn't see, and doesn't know!? 🤨
Sorry. But you sound a bit daft 😆
A case of Mumsnet overthink!

Well as I mentioned, another parent has done this recently and dd has been invited even though she doesn’t attend on the same day as party child. I presume they think that even if the child doesn’t go to school with their child, they will just get a full list and invite everyone. I just don’t want to look like I’ve deliberately snubbed anyone.

I would only invite children she actually knows but I'd also decline the invite she has received as if you accept you're obligated to reciprocate.

Yeah I did think this.

I don't think you have to reciprocate - some children don't have parties at all, but they still attend other people's - but I do think it would be weird to go. I'd be surprised if a nursery would supply a full list of children (surely not allowed?) so it's more likely to be a blanket invite rather than deliberately seeking out children she's never heard of to include.

You are not a sheep OP.
Of course you don’t need to invite kids that your DD doesn’t no to her party. Not sure why you’d attend a party of a kid your DD doesn’t no either.