To ask your choice of school?

[Blooperpenguin]

I’ll not go into the details but which of the following would you go for if your DD was looking at secondary schools:

1. A girls grammar school, with an exceptional reputation, located about 5 miles away but linked by a regular school bus. It’s possible some of DD’s friends may also go to this school but its not guaranteed, and most won’t.
2. The local state comprehensive school. It’s 10 minutes walk away. It’s not got an outstanding reputation but it’s not awful; its reputation is satisfactory. The likelihood is most of the kids DD knows will go here.

We chose the Grammar School when we were in that situation and it was right for our DD. In fact she chose it. Friendships don’t always last the transition to secondary school anyway. They grow up so much. In fact we made a similar choice for DS too. And I was one of only three girls from Primary School to go to my Grammar School and I don’t think we ever spoke to each other again.

We chose our local comprehensive for our children.

I have no reason to regret the decision

As others have said, grammars suit some but not all. My DD would have felt stressed and unhappy in a competitive environment. We chose the ‘good’ local comp where she worked hard and was in tops sets and felt confident in her abilities. She got a fantastic set of results.. in fact pretty much exactly the same as her ‘smarter’ (allegedly) friend who went to the grammar.

Having had almost exactly that choice and having chosen option 2 (and being a teacher), I'd say 1000% go for option 1.

Our choice was complicated by the fact that dh taught at the comprehensive. It was ok when dc first went there, but went downhill later. I regret my decision. The dc did well anyway, as they are very bright and have 2 teacher parents, but they would have had a better experience and better teaching.

If your daughter can pass the entrance exam you would be doing her a huge disservice if you didn't send her to the grammar school.

Don't leave it to your daughter to decide. This is a decision that you have to make.

I went to a grammar school, so did my sister, my daughter and my two niece's. I have never heard anyone with a grammar school education say they wish they had gone to a comprehensive school instead.

I do know people who were offered grammar school places, but went to comprehensive schools to be "with their friends" who wish their parents had made the decision to go to grammar school for them.

The only person I know who transferred to a comprehensive school because she was unhappy, did so because she struggled academically and couldn't keep up with her grammar school peers. She had been tutored for the entrance exam and only scraped a pass.

option 1 because if she is unhappy she is more likely to be able to get a place at the comprehensive later on. It would be hard to transfer to the grammar school if the comp isn’t great.

I don’t love single sex education but between those options, that’s what I would choose