to not want to do it in the middle of the day

[SilkieChick]

I'm super-busy at the moment, juggling a few different projects and deadlines and I wfh. DH often comes home from work quite early in the afternoon, as he has done today and has just suggested sex while the house is empty (we have 2 teenage DDs).

Ok, look I know we don't do it often these days, and there are very few opportunities when the kids aren't at home, but a Thursday afternoon at 3 o'clock when I'm up to my eyes trying to meet important deadlines is not it. AIBU?

There's just no chance I can switch work brain off and sexy brain on like that. I need a run up to DTD these days 🙄

It's annoyed me, and I don't know if I'm more annoyed at him for not reading the room, or more annoyed at myself for my crappy libido and not being the sort of person who can have a carefree quickie in the middle of the day.

He didn’t demand anything, don’t twist it fgs

I wouldn’t go into my DH’s office and tell him to make me a cup of coffee, I’ll do it if he’s wfh though! They aren’t the exact same thing.

YABU to be annoyed at him for wanting to have sex with you.
YANBU to not want to/not have time.

I would ask him to let me know when he’s planning on coming home so that you can fit your lunch break around it.

I think a night in a hotel to reconnect would sound like a better idea than when you are busy and stressing about work.

Me and DH love it when I’m wfh and he’s n a day off and kids in school. I’m entitled to an hour lunch break so we make the most of an empty house! By the evening I’m shattered.

I really identify with your last post. I am 48 this year and feel exactly the same. I just need everything to be just so before I can get into it. My partner is randy and ready all day every day; it's hard work.

A lot of the time I just say yes and use lube if necessary. Mainly because I do enjoy it once we've got going and I feel better knowing he feels better/happy. I do say no if I really don't fancy it though.

Deleted duplicate post

I’d feel very sad if a day time shag never crossed my DP’s mind. But then, I’d also feel very sad if I found sex a chore that was just ‘pandering’ to DP, rather than something that we both enjoyed.

I guess we’re all different. Obviously the OP shouldn’t have sex if she doesn’t want to, but I don’t think her husband’s done anything wrong by suggesting it. It’s not a crime to fancy your wife.

Afternoon is my favourite time for sex! I get the peri/mid life sex slump though - its pretty common. Personally I try to push past it sometimes and have sex anyway (not necessarily because DH has asked for it just because I know the less you have sex the less you want it!) and I always enjoy it once I get going.

I understand if you are working you are focussed and not in the mood but I also think sometimes it is ok to let things slide a bit and have fun together - especially if sex is impossible at other times due to teenagers being in their rooms nearby. It doesn't have to be every afternoon!

Youre not BU at all. Most women, even though they won't admit it, aren't bothered about sex and can happily live without it. Alas, they just go along with it and go through the motions in order to have children, keep the man happy, and to keep their second income (i.e. the man) around. Most women don't really fancy their partners/DHs, but they're a necessity for marriage, kids, money and a house for most women.

At the end of the day, both sexes use each other: Men to obtain regular sex, food and cleaning, women for children, marriage, money, a home and that general lifestyle of being a wife and mum.

This is absolute bullshit.

What a jaded outlook you have on life and your previous post was a load of nonsense.

If my DH had been wanting food and cleaning from me he would have been out of luck 😜

I also provided the house, didn't want kids and couldn't have cared less about the general lifestyle of being a wife and mum.

Sounds like a case of birds of a feather, you’ve chosen to surround yourself with other women who also hate their husbands and apparently only keep them around for their income, so you all make yourselves feel validated about it.

What a misogynistic attitude.

YNBU and each to their own but often dh and I do this in the middle of the day as otherwise it’s tricky with teens around.

God I’d love the opportunity for an afternoon quickie, what a lovely thing to do! I want to spend as much time being intimate with my DP as possible - these things don’t last forever and one day I don’t want to look back and regret not seizing the moments we have.