Dd is gaining weight rapidly and I don’t know why

[megabrilliant]

I weighed my dd today she is 10 and weighs 7 stone 2 at 4 foot 8 which puts her at 96 centile.
I weighed myself at the same time and I was 7 stone 1 which at 5’2 makes me marginally underweight but only by a couple of lb.
My 8 year old was only 4 stone something and smack bang in the healthy range.
I just don’t understand and I know people must think I feed her junk but I give them both the same breakfast, same packed lunch and cook them the same dinner and so if anything the youngest eats more for her age as she eats the same size meals.
I walk them to and from school each day which is about 15 minutes each way so that’s half an hour exercise and they both do activities out of school plus we go swimming and are quite an active family generally.
No sweet drinks or junk food.

An average day will look like this.

Breakfas
2 pieces of toast and spread or bowl of porridge or very occasionally a croissant or hot cross bun for a change.

Packed lunch
Sandwich or wrap with ham or cheese.
yogurt
piece of fruit
cereal bar for snack at break and water.

Dinner
Meat, all fresh like chicken breast or pork chops, veg, potato or rice or pasta, occasionally beans but rarely.

If they are hungry later they have fruit or cheese or cracker type biscuits but other than that I can’t see how she is ballooning in weight.
I used to give her size 6 clothes I didn’t wear anymore because she fitted in them and now she doesn’t and I’m buying primary school uniform in age 15 online and she’s in teen clothes, I bought a coat in age 15 and she’s struggling to do the zip up.
Her teeth are good, she isn’t a good sleeper but is there anything else I can do for her or is she just a bit bigger but can that still be healthy, I think people think it’s neglect and I’m giving her the wrong food but we all eat the same.

My DD who is 23 and slim was overweight for about a year at age 10. She then grew and grew. At her 11th birthday in the summer she was quite a bit shorter than me. By Christmas, she was about 1cm taller than me and by her 12th birthday she was much taller than me.

Obviously this could be what is happing to your DD but it might not be.

Is she still growing taller? It might be worth monitoring her height over the next few months. Consider making a GP appointment in case there is a medical cause such as underactive thyroid.

I was very standard weight growing up but remember around year 5-6 I put on a fair bit of weight and my mum mentioning it and commenting on how much junk food I was eating. Made me feel like shit if I was honest and I was anlways starving no matter how much or what type of food I was eating. Around the same time I was getting pains around breast areas and a lot of bloating. Not long before I started secondary school I did indeed shoot up a bit and went straight back to my old proportions. Followed closely by further growing pains and then finally my period came. It felt like a long old while but I did even out after that. I get on really well with my mum, but the innocuous comments never really left me and I was quite self conscious about weight after that even when I went back to being a very normal and healthy weight. I can see now my mum doesn’t have the healthiest relationship with food herself, she’d deny it till she’s blue in the face though.

I did the whole thing with “don’t weigh your daughter, it’s not healthy for her to have to think about her weight.” I figured she was just chubby. Well, now she’s obese at age eight, and she’s smart enough to know that all the talks about portion size and sugar have something to do with her big belly. There’s been such an overcorrection to diet culture that there’s not really much advice on what to say when your daughter really is fat.

It sounds to me like her diet and lifestyle is fine, and hopefully this might be a normal hormonal growing-up thing as others have suggested. However, if the weight gain has been really rapid and her tummy seems swollen then I agree with what some other said about getting a check up with the GP or the school nurse. If you do this, you should speak to (/message) the medical professional privately first, and make sure that you and the nurse/doctor pitch it to your daughter as just a general health check up (she won’t know that the NHS is so stretched nowadays that we don’t generally have check-ups any more!) so that she doesn’t develop an issue with her perception of her weight.

I was asking OP what reason she gave her daughters for them all hopping on the scales. Not for you to make smart comments.

I think you can really see a massive variation in year 5/6 depending on when girls start their big growth spurts. Some look ginormous and adult looking at 10-11 and others still look like little girls.

I agree with others that she is potentially putting on weight before a growth spurt but I’d want to keep an eye as it does seem on the heavier end of a wide range. I’ve got a similar aged child who is going through a phase of storing fat and she’s taller and over a stone lighter than the OP’s daughter. Mine is due a growth spurt so I’d expect her to suddenly shoot up a few cms as she’s been at the same height for a few months now.

“It’s quite obvious when a child is overweight”

I’m not sure it is - which is in part why around one in eight children aged between two and 10 in England as obese (per NHS survey). Instead we deflect - puppy fat, big bones, strong etc

You are particularly small, and you really shouldn't be comparing your DD with yourself. She may have inherited her body type from her father. Stop stressing. Leave the girl alone. There's nothing you can do about it anyway. You can't put her on a diet if she's already eating correctly.

But at 8, you’re still feeding her, surely. Just make healthy food, limit snacks and manage portion size?

It can be very much to do with the stage of development. DD and DS were enormously fat round babies and very chubby toddlers/preschoolers, despite being fed normally. Around about age 6-8 they both slimmed right down despite their diet changing little - DD stretched out into a very long lean shape, she's now 11 and now and then fat accumulates around her middle before a growth spurt - the "skinny fat" look. DS is almost 9 and about 2 years ago he also went from chunky and heavyset to very lean and muscular. For my kids at least, it seems to be often not to do with how much is being eaten but what the body is doing with it, wrt physical development.

If your DD doesn't have any symptoms of thyroid issues, it is likely just puberty/growth and the body storing up fat in preparation for all the changes it's about to undergo.

Talks about portion sizes and sugar can be a self-fulfilling prophecy unfortunately. Do you use the Ellyn Satter approach with your daughter? It's really helpful if you haven't heard of it/tried it.

I thought that poster's comment was very to the point. She was seeking an objective measure (weight) to what could be a subjective viewpoint or not particularly nuanced (just loo,ing at DD)

Another one saying this sounds like normal pre-puberty weight gain. It’s exactly the age where it happens.
They often go out before they go up for growth spurts.

girls have enough on their plates at this age without being weighed by mum. Please don’t do this.
if the meals are all healthy she’ll be fine.

That reply was to whether or not she could be pregnant, not starting puberty.

Quite!

I would take her to the GP. It's probably growth spurt / hormone related but it could be something else so I'd just take her for a check up to be sure.

It’s normal for girls to put on a bit of weight at this prepubescent age as her body is starting to change, she’ll shoot up when her body is ready. She’s eating a balanced diet so leave her alone.

Three possibilities:
-DD is eating much more than you realise (from friends at school)
-there is a medical issue
-it may even out (the much talked about growth spurt) and her childhood obesity won't lead to adult obesity.

GP in the first instance, best first without DD. (Or close your eyes and throw away the scales as per the advice here 🤷‍♀️ )

I would probably give it a few months and see if she does have a growth spurt, happened to all 3 of my daughter's before their hormones kicked in, they're now all a healthy weight.

However, there could be underlying reasons for it so if you feel she's getting worse in the next few months then I'd take her to the GP maybe for some blood tests to rule things like thyroid out.

Our DD changed in Y6 , her body and hair changed in shape and texture ( hair)
Then she grew taller and it all evened out, shes now 15 1/2 and completely different, hair has smoothed out ,
shes not as tall as most of her friends, she laughs about that! I felt tiny when we went to the Y11 parents evening
It was the same as our DS2, he changed in body shape and hair texture in Y6, as soon as he reached 15/16 he shot up and is now ( age 23) the tallest in the family, calls himself a “skinny bitch”
its puberty

It's probably hormonal puppy fat. My sister and I went through it, and so did my nieces. I have boys and one is naturally slimmer than the other. One has hardly any subcutaneous fat, the other one does. It's not diet as my slimmer son has always had a huge appetite, it's their physiology and natural fat cell distribution.

It's good to be concerned, but I'd be wary of making an issue out of it right now, though keep an eye on it. It's also still winter, not long past Christmas, the weather is grim and I think a lot of people lay down a bit of extra weight at this time of the year due to eating more comforting foods and decreased outside activity.

It’s the only thing that will keep the weight off me. As soon as I eat rice or pasta, I gain a good few lbs. Always had a thigh gap but my belly has only ever been flat when I’m underweight.

Mine never showed up on the NHS blood tests. Was repeatedly told I couldn’t have pcos as I didn’t have any other symptoms. It wasn't until I had a surgery for a dermoid cyst that they diagnosed it as my ovaries were swamped with polycystic lesions!

If you think she looks overweight which you have said in one of your posts then she must be having too large a portion. You shouldn’t all be having exactly the same sized portion. Children don’t need adult sized portions. You say your 8 year old has the same portions but isn’t overweight but I guess in another 2 years time she could be too.

I was overweight/chubby as a kid and it all dropped off when I hit puberty, I hit it quite late didn’t get my period until nearly 15.

I say this with kindness, I hope she is not aware of your concern about her weight. Growing up knowing there is concern around your weight, stays with you and influences your attitude to your body, self esteem and eating habits in an unhealthy way, well into adulthood.

If you are genuinely concerned about an underlining condition causing this then speak to your GP as others have suggested.

My 11 year old Y6 dd is 5 foot 4, has size 5.5 feet and is in women’s 8-10. Mostly a 10

No idea how much she weighs, as don’t want to fixate on that.

Typical day for her

homemade tumeric & ginger shot daily

breakfast
overnight oats with full fat Greek yogurt, chia seeds, flax seeds& frozen berries
or scrambled eggs and avocado on toast

Lunch
cream cheese and cucumber sandwich (current obsession for pack lunch)
strawberries, blueberries & kiwi
crisps
cereal bar

dinner (usually 2 plates)
Protein-chicken/salmon/beef etc
Some form of carb
veg/salad

snacks (any variation of the below)
cheese, olives, gherkins, pickled onions, toast, boiled eggs, Greek yogurt, apple/banana, rice cakes, sometimes a chocolate biscuit (or 2) if she fancies it

she is an endless pit and easily eats more than I do. But she’s quite active, definitely growing and sleeps like a log so I figure seems ok