Dd is gaining weight rapidly and I don’t know why

[megabrilliant]

I weighed my dd today she is 10 and weighs 7 stone 2 at 4 foot 8 which puts her at 96 centile.
I weighed myself at the same time and I was 7 stone 1 which at 5’2 makes me marginally underweight but only by a couple of lb.
My 8 year old was only 4 stone something and smack bang in the healthy range.
I just don’t understand and I know people must think I feed her junk but I give them both the same breakfast, same packed lunch and cook them the same dinner and so if anything the youngest eats more for her age as she eats the same size meals.
I walk them to and from school each day which is about 15 minutes each way so that’s half an hour exercise and they both do activities out of school plus we go swimming and are quite an active family generally.
No sweet drinks or junk food.

An average day will look like this.

Breakfas
2 pieces of toast and spread or bowl of porridge or very occasionally a croissant or hot cross bun for a change.

Packed lunch
Sandwich or wrap with ham or cheese.
yogurt
piece of fruit
cereal bar for snack at break and water.

Dinner
Meat, all fresh like chicken breast or pork chops, veg, potato or rice or pasta, occasionally beans but rarely.

If they are hungry later they have fruit or cheese or cracker type biscuits but other than that I can’t see how she is ballooning in weight.
I used to give her size 6 clothes I didn’t wear anymore because she fitted in them and now she doesn’t and I’m buying primary school uniform in age 15 online and she’s in teen clothes, I bought a coat in age 15 and she’s struggling to do the zip up.
Her teeth are good, she isn’t a good sleeper but is there anything else I can do for her or is she just a bit bigger but can that still be healthy, I think people think it’s neglect and I’m giving her the wrong food but we all eat the same.

I dont know if it helps but I read an article some years ago that said many people, but especially children, struggle to differentiate between thirst and hunger. So I started drinking a glass of water (or offering same to the kids) when the "I'm still hungry" thing happened with the promise of something in half an hour if I/they were still hungry. Was rarely needed but I realised I needed to up our fluid intake, which also helped.

Op, on the food issue, I would change her diet a little bit. I don't think this is causing the weight problem but some things on it arguably should not be eaten every day.

2 pieces of toast and spread or bowl of porridge or very occasionally a croissant or hot cross bun for a change.- Porridge is good but toast is not ideal for everyday. What kind of spread is she having?

Packed lunch
Sandwich or wrap with ham or cheese.
yogurt
piece of fruit
cereal bar for snack at break and water.- what kind of bread is she having? White bread? Brown bread? Certain kinds of bread are better choices than others. Also much bread is Ultra Processed (read Chris van Tulleken's book about UPFs). Ham- red meat should not be eaten daily ideally. Cereal bar - as pps have said this can be sugary.

Dinner
Meat, all fresh like chicken breast or pork chops, veg, potato or rice or pasta, occasionally beans but rarely. - what kind of rice and pasta? These can be fine but it depends what type.. Pork chops - again, red meat is not ideal daily.

I have PCOS and I wonder if this might be an issue? Anyway, I would recommend a good variety of fresh vegetables, nuts, seeds, and cards should opt for stuff like rye or sourdough bread, brown rice and spelt pasta. Also fish like salmon, seabass, plaice, mackerel etc

Fruit - remember some is good but some types are more sugary than others. I would focus on dark berries like blackberries, blueberries and raspberries.

Yes, this

She does sound very heavy for her height.
It could be that she is growing out before she stretches upwards.
She could be a heavier build than the rest of the family too.

A friend of mine has a daughter who has always been overweight. Friend herself is very disciplined about her own weight but I've known her since she was at school and she herself was also on the chubbier side when she was at school.
She has limited her daughter's food, she has controlled all her calories, she has brought her to the gym. Its quite uncomfortable to watch and the daughter is still overweight. I expect that is how it is.
If your daughter is exercising, eating low fat food and her proportions are suitable and it sounds like this is the case, then just continue to watch it to make sure there isn't an underlying medical condition.

Same - I have just bought an age 14-15 jacket and it's roomy, I'm about a size 10

Don’t worry OP I’m 5’ 4” and 7 stone 10. With size 3 feet you’ve got a small frame.

Regarding your DD - always worth checking for some medical issue with sudden weight gain. But if that shows up nothing I’d focus on her eating habits rather than her weight. If she’s eating normally things will probably balance themselves out in the long run.

Edit: duplicate post

That’s in the overweight category to be fair - so you must be very muscly.

UPFs are tied strongly to obesity though, they're not a separate issue. They are linked to cancer & other illnesses too. It is important to cut down imo, esp for a child.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10924027/&ved=2ahUKEwiv4oDtnviSAxWjdUEAHVgzJ1IQFnoECBkQAQ&usg=AOvVaw330VBW4s1Vb9lqcvSIyT7d

It just goes to show how all bodies carry weight differently then does it. I’m 5 foot 4 and 8 stone 5. If I was 10 stone 5, I definitely wouldn’t find size 8 tops roomy because I put weight on my tummy. I am a size 8 now at this weight. My mum is 5 foot 3 and has always hovered around 7-7.5 stone despite a very healthy appetite. It’s not nice to skinny shame. Some people are naturally very light. It doesn’t mean others have to make out they must have an eating disorder. It’s really rude actually.

Looking at the diet I would say cut the extra toast and ditch the buns and croissants at breakfast. You only need an excess of calories to gain weight.

Exactly.

What would you suggest for breakfast?

I’m friends with a seemingly sensible woman. She has 4 children, with her and her partner they are a family of 5. Only one person in the household is overweight (noticeably so) and it’s my child’s school friend. My friend told me they’re seeing a specialist because they cannot get to the bottom of the weight gain, she said all the things you said about all having the same etc. One night I was chatting to my OH and mentioned this, he was very dismissive of what I was saying and it resulted in a few cross words, he was adamant that unless there’s a mystery illness or disorder that would likely been flagged before now or any other health problems that it’s a simple as energy consumed vs energy expended and anything else is nonsense and excuses. We agreed to disagree as it seemed to me that there’s no way a person of average weight with two other average weight children wouldn’t notice any major differences between her children’s activity levels and food intake. We had the school friend around for a play date and they never stopped asking for food. They weren’t being rude in any way shape or form and I am being very careful not to blame them for this behaviour in any way but I was shocked at how many things they asked for. When it came time for dinner they ate more than I did, again, not judging, just being factual. I don’t believe this was a one off, rather that they eat more than their Mum realises for whatever reason and the food choices are poor. I think if it’s a rapid weight gain and they are otherwise well then it is just as simple as more energy going in than is being expended. It could be that their movement levels have dropped significantly, 5 days a week they play it for an hour a day at school, if that time used to be spent running around for almost an hour and now it is spent sat on a bench chatting then of course it will result in weight gain. Could there be snacks at school or a family member is giving without your knowledge? 1 chocolate bar a day for example is quite a lot over 5 days etc. I would suggest upping your movement as a family 1st and seeking GP advice if necessary. Hard one as you don’t want the child to be aware of weight as a negative at this age.

If you’re 5’2” and only just over 7st you’re very slim indeed .
So she might seem to be overweight to you since you’re so very slim .
But honestly, don’t weigh her for now , keep giving her healthy and filling foods .
She will likely have a growth spurt and will slim down a bit as she grows .

I'm 5 foot 4 and currently 12 stone and a size 12. When I was 10 stone I wore a comfortable size 8, I'm very proportional, I need to lose or gain over a stone for it to be really noticable because it's goes on and off all over. I AM muscular but I'm not a weight lifter or anything

sorry this all went wrong

This is what happened to my daughter just before she turned 9.

Hi OP, I understand you concerns but tread carefully. I was a chubby child age 10, I remember feeling a little embarrassed and upset about an unflattering school photo and my dad and brother making hurtful remarks about it.
By the end of year 6 I had lost 2 stone and looked anorexic.I remember my grandmother gave me an Easter egg and I wouldn’t eat it and she was almost begging me to. That lasted about a year.
All was ok in the end but coincidentally I’ve noticed my DD age 8, has gained some weight however I’m going to cut out toast for breakfast and replace with fruit salad and suggest we do more exercise.
I won’t weigh her unless concerned for other reasons.
It is hard though, so wishing your family the best x

Looking back at my daughter she was quite chunky aged 10 . As a teenager she was absolutely fine weight wise. As long as she is eating a healthy diet I would just stop stressing.Maybe increase her exercise if it’s a concern for you.

Family of 6, won’t let me edit.

Well yes I was suprised to say the least! I was like what! Are you sure this isn’t broken 😂 I must have heavy bones?! Although I swear in the past I have measured and it’s never been 10+. But I have been in gym working on growing the mum bum out so perhaps that’s paying off 🙈

And no I am not trying to skinny shame. Many people would consider me skinny myself by most people’s standards. I am just saying 7st is super light for most people. I practically stopped my periods at that weight and was very unwell looking when I look back on pics now (I was too ill to even notice what I looked like 🤦‍♀️)

Not saying OP has an eating disorder. Surely they would know that. And OP would know if they are ill, or weak, or wittling away. I am just saying 7st is incredibly light really by most people’s standards. I think that’s a pretty normal opinion and didn’t mean to offend.

One nice option could be scrambled/poached/boiled eggs? Porridge is fine too - is she having it with full-fat milk/sugar/cream though because that could add fat?
Bread could be fine, but I would suggest untoasted rye or sourdough, and not too much butter. Imo these kinds of breads are an acquired taste, though I like them... so maybe stick with egg & porridge for the moment.

I have been trying to work on that recently so perhaps it’s paying off! I don’t think I look muscly though.

Maybe OPs DD just has this issue. I have heard bmi can be rubbish sometimes.

I have a medium/large skeletal frame and when I am a size 10 I weigh around 11 stone. Really small waist compared to hips/ribs/shoulders (imagine victorian women with their corsets, I look more in proportion as a 12). When I was a size 8 I was barely eating as I had an ED yet my BMI was normal. My doctor was the one to tell me that I had malnutrition and my body fat was dangerously low. I was suffering black outs from low blood sugar, lethargy etc

BMI is far too blunt a tool and personally I think that it shouldnt be used at all. It certainly helped me convince myself that not eating for days at a time was fine because my BMI was normal.
ETA I am 5 6