To ask how much your 10/11 year old eats?

[Theghostofchristmasarse]

In a day? Sorry but couldn't really find a better place to post..

DS is autistic and possibly ADHD...he has a restricted diet, will eat vegetables, but no food that has sauce or any kind of flavour...so it's plain rice, plain pasta, chicken, etc. chicken nuggets, potatoes cooked a certain way...food is stressful, he will often get distracted and not eat, I don't put any pressure on him to finish meals etc (he just wouldn't anyway), sometimes he really struggles to eat something he would normally, he just gets anxious and can't manage it.

He also won't eat at school. I'm just not sure if I should be worried, he's healthy BMI, 22, on the skinny side but not tall either. We've tried a few things at school to get him to eat, but it's a situational thing. I just try to get him to fill up either side.

He eats maybe one or two brioche rolls first thing, nothing all day although I've had success with a small sausage roll kept warm in a food flask at school, then a small bowl of rice or pasta, with chicken and veg, or cucumber etc in the evening...he would probably eat about half, so a handful...then lots of snacking, not very healthy stuff, things like ice cream, cereal with milk in the evening, fruit, oranges and toast mostly.

His diet is not great I know, but I'm more worried about getting calories into him at the moment and he does eat veg.

I'm just wondering if it's an unusually small amount? I'm keeping a food diary at the moment for the dentist (he's under a therapeutic dentist as he needs fillings because teeth brushing is really difficult for him and he can't have them done due to anxiety) and I'm wondering if I should refer to get some support or if he's actually probably getting enough currently? I don't think they would take a referral as he's a 'normal' weight.

What centile is he on for weight and height, rather than BMI? Hospital consultant will look at those. My daughter is 50th centile for height but 2nd centile for weight and we are under the consultant paediatrician but she's also had past bladder and bowel issues, and may be autistic (sensory issues).

When we saw the dietician she was all for puddings with custard to get weight on, so don't worry about the ice cream.

In regards to teeth, can be rinse with water or mouthwash after eating, or chew sugar free gum to stimulate saliva? It's not as good as brushing but would be worth discussing with the dentist maybe?

Kids are supposed to be skinny.

Its right to worry about his diet generally though.

My DS is 9 but the height of a 10/11 year old. He eats a lot. Big bowls of porridge or weetabix in the morning with fruit. Packed lunch (his school food is shite)- eg salad, tuna sandwiches, yoghurt, fruit and then something like a home made flapjack. He would love to have nuts or hummous but not allowed in his school. Dinner - big portions of home cooked meals like pasta bolognaise, lentil curry, Mexican bean burritos, steak and chips, salmon with veg & rice. He loves all fruit, veg & salad.

He is thin - high height percentile but average weight.

Thanks that's a good point, I hadn't really thought about centiles since he was a baby...he was in the 90s as a baby, was nearly 10lbs. But he's tiny now, but I'm short as is his sister...I'll try to work it out.

He also has bowel issues, which is partly why he won't eat at school, doesn't want to use the toilet, too loud, too dirty and it takes him too long to go if he needs a poo. He thinks if he doesn't eat or drink then he won't have to go.

I've started getting him protein enriched milk, chocolate flavour... hoping he will drink that at school. He's eating so much processed crap and sugar, but I just think at least he's eating. He gets so stressed about food. I try to keep it low pressure as I don't want to make it worse.

@SuzyFandango that sounds like so much compared to DS. I have to separate out what I cook for me and his sister before any sauce is added, so bolognaise is just the mince, with plain pasta. Won't eat cheese. Will have lettuce, spinach etc with it, but rarely eats it all, and I'd say it's around my handful of good he's actually eating as an evening meal. He's active, but no sports or anything.
My family just keep saying oh he'll eat if he's hungry and one day he will be eating loads, but I can't see it.

My son is 10 - nearly 11. He's just over 1.5m tall, and very slim / lightly built. He has 3 Weetabix + milk for breakfast, fruit and something like flapjack or a crumpet at school break (they provide), hot school lunch, a small sandwich between school and after school clubs / activities, then an adult-ish portion of whatever we're all eating in the evening - something we cook with lots of veg in usually. If it's a favourite he'll eat more than me, something he's not as keen on then he'll have a bit less. He's v active and skinny (and fidgety!), so just seems to burn it all off.

He's also very easily distracted, takes ages to eat, and if he's upset about anything he's much less interested in food, or if I try to rush him he gets stressed, so it could easily become stressful - so I comply understand you wanting to keep it as chilled as you can rather than push it.

my just turned 11 year old ate yesterday:
1 piece toast with butter and jam
1 bowl of wheaties cereal with milk & cup of milk
1 round cream cheese sandwich with apple, grapes, wagon wheel and mini sausages
1 piece of lemon drizzle cake after school
2 sausages with mash and beans, followed by another piece of lemon cake

not desperately healthy (too much cake!) but fairly standard. skinny tall child.

All cake & bread are homemade.

Does he have ARFID? If so, trying to address that would help as it is a specific eating disorder rather than just being fussy

The other day dd sent a pic of 9.5 yo Gds’ ‘normal’ breakfast.

2 scrambled eggs on a large slice of toast, at least 3 rashers of bacon, 10 cherry tomatoes and a whole avocado.

All followed by a banana.

He’s skinny as a rake, but just never stops - I used to call him the human hurricane,
But as a baby he was a real Michelin Man, rolls of fat everywhere! All vanished once he started running around.

Thanks all, really helpful...it's so difficult to know, I work with boys but in secondary, he's 11 in April and coming to my school in September, the boys at my school will eat loads but then they'll spend most of lunch running around playing football, he's not like that so it's hard to compare.

@babasaclover that's what I'm trying to work out..I started looking at referral for help but then was doubtful as he does eat veg, and he has an appetite, just not specific things or situations...he gets genuinely upset when he asks for food, I say what would you like, he then gets tearful and says he doesn't know. I don't know if I should be worried but I am!

I'm just trying to get something to improve before he's doing longer days and the stress of secondary sets in, where I don't think he'll eat at all. He won't even eat sandwiches, too moist...

Most things he eats are processed, so he's not getting good amounts or good energy from them I think.

I'm going to weigh and measure him tonight, see if I can work out his centiles and start a food diary I think. Difficult because he's at his dad's every other weekend and he just doesn't see any issues,the masks there and will do what he's told to a certain extent. Plus there's so many dietary needs in his family, coeliac, vegan, allergies, so different meals are normal.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER I'd say if we have a breakfast at the weekend it's 1 slice of toast, won't eat all, maybe one spoonful of scrambled eggs...again, wouldn't eat it all. So tiny amount in comparison. He was a chubby baby too, but was very overdue, 3 lbs heavier than his sister at birth.

@StrawberryThief1930 he would eat cake! Sweet things go ok. But I do wonder if it's dopamine seeking, he genuinely likes other food that he will eat, but guaranteed he will eat sweet stuff...but even that gets left at school.
I throw away so much food. Whole dinners sometimes.

Chicken, rice and veggies is very healthy!

My DS won't eat at school so I try to load him up in the morning. Does yours eat eggs? If not, would it help to forget what are considered typical breakfast foods like brioche and give him more of a dinner type meal in the morning, albeit maybe a smaller portion? They do breakfasts this way in many parts of the World. It can even be last nights dinner so no extra work.

@Theghostofchristmasarsei am a woman on her 40’s with it only diagnosed a few years ago and didn’t even know it was a thing I was just always considered fussy.

iniften don’t bother with lunch dinner etc as I just don’t know what I fancy so sounds similar.

foe me it’s about so much more than what I eat but the way it’s cooked or its texture. like bread I like butter but I wouldn’t eat a sandwich as if left it makes the bread gross. I love toast but have to eat straight away before it gets too melty. Could never let anyone else make it or they’d get it wrong.

after some CBT some years back I’m better now. I eat chicken but don’t like it when it touches my teeth so have to have it wrapped in bread. Very much a texture thing for me

@babasaclover thank you, that's really helpful...it's definitely texture, but also situations if that makes sense? I'll look into the referral, they might help, in my experience though it tends to be a cut off of being underweight, DD had eating issues and lost loads of weight but 'not enough' for the local NHS service apparently...

Thing is, he isn't able to tell me what specifically it is that he doesn't like.

@Ablondiebutagoody yes, I am pleased he does like healthy foods too, it's just that most of it goes uneaten, and he's then filling up later on sweet stuff, but even then not loads of volume. He gets to bedtime, has a headache, tummy ache etc, then starts asking for food..at about 9pm. So then he's not brushing his teeth properly and I'm sure all the sugar isn't helping his sleep.

We are so rushed in the morning currently, have to leave at 7.30am, his routine is eating the same thing every day. Very resistant to change. I might try smoothies first thing, that might do it. Again though, texture...so hot and miss. And oddly, he'll eat something for months, then suddenly, nope, can't eat that anymore!

Since he is a healthy weight I wouldn’t be worried

Well I've done his centiles and he's not even on the chart for height, at 1 metre 9 cm, and is 4 stone. So about 9th centile for that. Compared to me and his dad, which apparently should make him 50th centile, which is still much less that the 90th he was at birth. Not sure I'm less worried.

See GP for blood test for coeliac disease.

Your DS is 10 years old and 109cm, 4 stones - are your figures correct? He does seem small for his age... my DD is 9 and 130cm and around 4 stones and she's short compared to her classmates. I think I would go and see the gp with your concerns and let them advise you.

My DS is nearly 11 and very light and slim but an average height. He's now around the 4th centile for weight but for a long time was under the 1st. His sister has coeliac disease so he's had all the tests for that twice and we've seen the GP about his weight. Hes just a very active child who is not bothered about food. A normal day would be weetabix or shreddies for breakfast (pancakes or waffles at the weekend). School dinner or packed lunch with a cheese wrap, fruit, yoghurt, crisps etc. Family meal in the evening so bolognaise, chilli, chicken and potatoes, steak and salad, risotto etc. Pudding (usually home made cake or ice cream) and fruit.

The difficulty is that he has no real appetite so will eat a big meal if he likes whats in front of him, will ask for seconds even. But if he doesn't like it he will happily skip a meal and i can't force him to eat. And if he's distracted or wants to hurry up and do something else he will claim to be full up and won't mind skipping pudding so I have no real leverage to make him eat more. I do remind him that if he wants to play sports he needs to fuel his body and he won't be as quick or strong if he doesn't eat but he's still desperate to get down from the table and run off to the park with virtually nothing inside him.

But I try very hard not to over think it and remind myself that he's happy, healthy and active and I really really don't want to make dinner time a battle ground. Dinner time in our house is usually very nice, relaxed family time and I'm hoping that he'll find his appetite as he gets older.

Ds is 10 and autistic , he’s great with fruit and carbs struggles with veg, dairy and meat. He wouldn’t eat something even if he was dry hungry and eating something he can’t tolerate makes him gag. He eats a lot of repetitive foods but then gets bored of them 🤦‍♀️.
Breakfast - same every day
Berries, apple, slice of toast and butter, fresh oj
lunch
school dinner but doesn’t always eat / finish it, likes the fish Friday, roast dinner and breakfast days
on a weekend he has eggs, beens and toast or pizza
Dinner- he has a handful of meals on rotation
Spaghetti bol
Tacos
Burritos
cottage pie
Roast dinner (begrudgingly)
Any thing beige with roast potatoes, mash, chips or rice
pizza
Eggs, beans, bacon, sausage
Only veg he eats is peas or sweetcorn. I blend extra veg into bolognaise and gravy.
Snacks /puds
fruit
Biscuits
Ice cream
jelly
buns
ice lolly
bread sticks
crackers
popcorn
plain crisps
Drinks
water
cordial
juice
hot chocolate

it is hard as he gets bored of food but can’t seem to expand his diet. We did have jacket potato and sandwich in the past too. He also (of course) loves sweets. He has a multivitamin daily.
Hes slim and looks healthy. He never asks for food or drinks just has them when given.

Tho also sounds like ARFID. It goes hand in had with neurodivergence. I used to gag if I didn’t want to eat it so it was no good people saying just try it.

I was diagnosed with ADHD at same time as ARFID

im so bored but cannot change. I’d say you’ve got a really good range in there tbh much better than I had as a child. I’d eat bread and chips and that was it - anything else I refused and went to bed hungry a lot

Yeah I had what I think was arfid as a child (pretty much lived on yoghurt and crisps)I also went to bed Hungary as parents tried the tough love approach. My dd was diagnosed as a teen.
im unsure with DS as he has a significantly better range than dd or i had . It definitely think theres a sensory component to it.

Thanks all, I'm going to take him to the doctor in the Easter holidays, I bought a smoothie maker, going to try that for breakfast.

On a school day my 8 &11 yo would have 1 slice jam/pb on toast plus a bowl of mini blueberry wheats for breakfast/eldest has fruit instead, cheddar stick/fruit for snack, 8yo barely 1/2 their school lunch, eldest eats it all, banana and biscuits after school, reasonable portion family meal, yoghurt, and then 8yo will want supper which might be toast.

Sounds like you've got some good info. Good luck at the doctors.