Family wedding in US - attend or skip?

[WolfMother326]

I am American, have lived in the UK for over a decade and have a British husband and 2 small children. The kids are eligible for US citizenship but I have not chosen to do this yet.
My sister who I love dearly is getting married this summer in the US. I am having major reservations about taking my kids and husband there right now having read disturbing stories in the news about people being detained or separated while travelling. Also, it's just generally an unpleasant atmosphere and we've never felt particularly safe when going back as a couple - my home state is liberal, but there are plenty of guns around. We also had a weird interaction with border patrol on our honeymoon crossing into the US from Canada, where they questioned us about why I didn't want to live in America and 'wasn't it good enough for me anymore?'
I'm thinking about just going solo for a week for the wedding, as I'm a citizen. But my family in America would be very disappointed about my kids and husband staying behind. My sister has said she would understand but obviously is disappointed by the suggestion.
I don't know if I'm being unreasonable, as well are a white family and perhaps less likely to be of interest. I don't want to let anyone down, but feel anxiety about taking my kids there just in case.

How could you miss your sisters wedding??? 💒 please go regardless.

Go and have a holiday there.

I had/have the option of travelling to America recently with my kids but elected not to for now. Fortunately for me there wasn't a particular deadline to the travel, just an open "We would love you to come visit us some point in the future" from family in the US. I will 100% be taking the DCs there on holiday at some point but not right now as I wouldn't feel safe. However, will say that a friend of mine recently went to the US (family event she didn't really want to miss) and she said it was fine, she is an ethnic minority but fwiw she basically didn't leave her families house the whole time she was there. Just airport > family home> airport 🤷‍♀️ she wouldn't have gone if not for the family event but enjoyed it nonetheless

It's definitely not permissible but also they don't always figure it out. My friend brought her kids to the states several times without issue, but given everything going on right now, lying on an immigration form seems like it 'could' be problematic. Your kids are American citizens and you'd have to pretend they aren't. She wasn't comfortable lying so she left the kids at home.

After reading this, I wouldn’t consider it. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/feb/21/karen-newton-valid-visa-detained-ice

I have a few American friends here in the UK with DC who don’t yet have US citizenship sorted and the sentiment pre-crazy ICE stuff was sometimes the border agent would question them intently about why the DC aren’t Americans and sometimes they’d be waved right through. One friend was pulled aside for extra questioning, which sounded a bit intense. None of them have travelled with their DC to the US since last Jan though.

I think the suggestions to go via Dublin are the most sensible. Worst case your DH and the DC book a cheap flight home and you continue on. It’s a weird time. I’m Canadian and heading “home” in the summer for a visit with my DD and where I’d normally consider a US layover it’s simply not happening for the foreseeable future.

Regardless of whether her children and partner could be denied entry or held by ICE or they could get in trouble for having the wrong documentation for her children who are US citizens.

Are you really sure none of that matters because of a wedding?

@WolfMother326I really wouldn’t risk it, especially with the possible confusion over your children’s status.

If anyone is going I think you should go alone.

I did the same years ago (travelled with eldest on ESTA) before getting her US passport and it was fine. But I might be more cautious now given the state of border security.

If you get them passports, you can then look forward to the joy of attending the Embassy every five years to do the renewals in person 😩😩. At least you can try to align the expiry dates - my kids’ passports are two years out of sync 🙄

I wouldn't go now as I don't want to support the government in any way, Missed a big family event because of it. But it's up to you.

This thread and the replies have been (mostly) really helpful, thank you. I will look into getting their US passports and if it's possible in time, we will all go. If not, I'll go solo. The wedding is in August so we will see what the timeline is like.

I'm british/irish and would never go to the US any way other than via Shannon now... I cannot TELL you how good it is vs fucking jfk or laguardia

on the US passports does that have tax implications for the kids? (youd know better than i )

I live in the US (liberal state). I wouldn't come here on hols if I lived elsewhere - just as a statement of disapproval for the administration but no way would I miss a lovely family wedding because of current situation - and would want my kids to go too.

Go through Dublin or Shannon - all the stress of immigration is taken care of before you leave and it is generally faster too.

I would just go solo. I’m American (well, dual national), with British Dh and 2 dual national dc.

Getting the kids’ passports is a complete ballache. They must travel on US passports. And it can take months to get an appointment at the Embassy. Then we all 4 have to go and they want piles of age progression photos. I hate doing it!

I’ve let all our passports expire now. If I need to go, I’ll renew mine. I think it’s safe enough, but I can’t be dealing with the bureaucratic mess that it involves.

https://travel.state.gov/en/international-travel/planning/personal-needs/dual-nationality.html

Good luck OP - hope it all works out 😊

Of course go! I went last summer to the US for a wedding. I had a fabulous time. Some of my DS's friends have gone to NYC with family. It's perfectly fine there.

US citizens have to travel to the US on their US passport. Then they can't deny you entry ever

No legitimate British tourists are being rounded up and detained by ICE. How ridiculous.

I get what you're saying here but read a very interesting article about normal people on the ground who survive via the tourist industry and they dont need their businesses decimated. Just another way of looking at it

Last summer I had a fabulous time in the states. No issues at the border. Standard questions and let me in.

I take it you didn’t see the news story about Karen Newton?

DHS say she violated her visa by having a previous nearly 4 year overstay.

I think it's a great compromise to just go solo. No worries about the kids passports or any other possible shenanigans, because it's in your head anyway and won't leave it. You'll be worried all the way. I would be.

With the money you've saved by just going yourself, have a special holiday en famille later.

Go on your own is my advice. That's what I would do.

There’s a news article linked earlier in this thread that describes a legitimate British tourist who was in fact detained for 5 weeks.