I’m an only child, parents very much doted on me growing up and prioritized their respective families BUT both sides of the family had multiple issues and my parents never really had any friends.
On my mothers side there were many lies, deceit, my mum not knowing who her dad was, my grandma not wanting her and generally my grandma being a very negative vicious person. This was coupled with alcoholism in her uncles and mother.
my dad moved to the Uk in his teens, missed home terribly but built a life here and met my mum. Lots of money from my dad given to support his family who lived in a communist country that my mother says put us in financial difficulty. Dad denies this. He has now fallen out with his family over inheritance amongst other things and only speaks to one cousin. Mum has no family left and they moved to France in retirement and still have no friends.
My mum is battling an alcohol dependency ( has done for years) and my dad is increasingly critical of everything and everyone, even me and my husband and barely wants to talk to me for some reason. Maybe he’s depressed?
On top of this they constantly argue and can’t stand each other ( although they will both deny this). Mum wants to come back to the UK, dad told me there’s nothing here for him!
I so desperately want them to be happy and on, but I’ve had to distance myself to protect my own family. I keep trying to support my mum, tell her I love her, that I’m here, and call every day but they are really getting me down.
I have a very small family so I find it hard to keep more of a distance as I want kids to know their grandparents. Also my dad thinks it’s my responsibility to try to deal with mums issues and generally do as much as I can to help them.
I just wish they were happy, enjoying retirement, etc but I feel they are both seething at life and it’s my fault.
AIBU to think It’s not my responsibility to make them happy and to distance myself?