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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband and Nasty Neighbours

10 replies

Mehmeh22 · 25/02/2026 20:31

We live in a terrace and about two years ago, new neighbours moved in. Before that we had a lovely neighbour, and then it was sold to a developer who ripped out the house to brick. Construction 7 days a week 12 hours a day for three months. It was horrendous. That's another thread.

Anyway, new neighbours moved in, added cameras everywhere, plus one that overlooked our back garden that can record sound and has live view. I was not happy about this because I felt my kids couldn't be in my own garden.

Long story short, our relationship has completely soured. The woman is loud and shouts a lot. She would bang on the wall if my kids were crying (not a regular thing, I promise), started blasting out music and TV when my kids were crying, singing really loud but awful. Just absolute lack of consideration from her. Her husband is very quiet.

I went round to ask if there was a way forward, as the noise could be heard in every room of my house (never heard other neighbours and get on with them). She responded aggressively that I was paranoid, have issues, just moan for the sake of it, my kids are feral etc.

She watches us from the camera (as it has a blue light when in live mode) but also just stands at the window and watch us park up.

Another reason I know she watches us is that she immediately came out screaming to my husband for putting a bin near her back gate.

She is genuinely insane imo. The type to stalk you because she has nothing else to do. I have considered reporting to the police, but we are moving house, and I didn't want it to come up as an issue.

I've resorted to walking around the house with ear phones in to stop myself from getting upset about it all. I'm constantly stressed that the kids are being noisy, even when they are not. Its affected the kids because they feel they cannot express themselves and Ive stopped play dates and people coming round incase she gets annoyed and starts blasting out music (she has done that)

Any interaction with them has given me panic attacks. I have other things going on (made redundant/health issues), so this has tipped me over the edge.

Anyway, we are moving and I CANNOT WAIT to be away from this. I have not felt comfortable in my home for a very long time. It has been a long slog but were nearly there.

Now to my AIBU

Today, I come home to see my husband talking to the neighbour husband. They haven't spoken to each other in at least a year. We never interact with them now (grey rock), so it was surprising.

I asked my husband what the neighbour wanted. He said nothing but was asking questions...my husband told them where we are moving, the kids school, the issues with the house move...all in 5 minutes. The neighbour husband grew up in that area and knows it very well.

I had a panic attack when he told me this and basically said I'm being ridiculous. The biggest issue I have is that he told him the kids school and basically where we are moving to. I wanted a clean slate. I didn't want them to know anything.

Now hes sulking. I'm just like...why are you sulking? You f*cked up - just own it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
GreatAuntytobe · 25/02/2026 20:35

They sound like an absolute nightmare, thank goodness you are moving soon. You've been lucky to find buyers with neighbours like that, did you have disclose you've had issues with the neighbours to them?

ChuckJacksonHanditoverNsoul · 25/02/2026 20:36

I'd want next door fuckwits to know nothing of my life and that of my family.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 25/02/2026 20:38

What the fuck is wrong with your husband?????

Whyyyyyythey probably will do nothing but he has stolen your peace with this
...

I had neighbours (they were upstairs flat,) thst were nowhere near this bad

I didnt even tell them I was selling....just listed online quietly did viewings and then on moving day KA-POW! They were so shocked.

Mehmeh22 · 25/02/2026 20:43

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 25/02/2026 20:38

What the fuck is wrong with your husband?????

Whyyyyyythey probably will do nothing but he has stolen your peace with this
...

I had neighbours (they were upstairs flat,) thst were nowhere near this bad

I didnt even tell them I was selling....just listed online quietly did viewings and then on moving day KA-POW! They were so shocked.

Edited

Right??

I wish I could just up and leave without them knowing...but the stupid bloody camera would catch it.

OP posts:
FaintingGoats · 25/02/2026 20:46

God help the poor sods that move into that house 🫤 not saying you shouldn’t move but Jesus, imagine being those people.

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 25/02/2026 21:00

TBH, I'd be livid. My DH is a wobble gob. Drives me nuts. Especially as in your situation I'd be planning something petty when I left but now they may know how to find you.
But that means I'd just have to get more inventive.

Mehmeh22 · 25/02/2026 21:13

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 25/02/2026 21:00

TBH, I'd be livid. My DH is a wobble gob. Drives me nuts. Especially as in your situation I'd be planning something petty when I left but now they may know how to find you.
But that means I'd just have to get more inventive.

Tbh I had so many petty things that I had dreamed of doing the day of me leaving just to get me through...not that I would do it but still.

He's absolutely doubling down on it though and making out Im "very sensitive" and should just get on with it. Dude....Im a very pragmatic person normally, but this is another level! Yoda would lose his sh*t over this!

OP posts:
Mehmeh22 · 25/02/2026 21:14

And for those who are concerned for the new person in this house...don't worry...she will meet her match.

OP posts:
tooloololoo · 25/02/2026 21:54

Why the hell would you husband tell them where you’re moving?

Backgroundnoises · 25/02/2026 22:01

After years of living with our neighbour's music blaring at all hours, we sold our terraced house to a student house landlord. Had he been a considerate neighbour, we'd have chosen different buyers.

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