Completely lost my confidence on mat leave?

[TheQuietLurker]

I’m currently on maternity leave but went for an interview recently for a new role. When I sat in front of the panel I completely froze… and then burst into tears. I felt so embarrassed.

Pre-baby I was confident and ambitious. But now I didn’t recognise myself at all. I felt out of my depth and like I didn’t belong there.

I’m still breastfeeding (had to pump in the car beforehand) and the thought of leaving my baby at nursery soon makes me really sad. It all feels overwhelming.

AIBU to be this knocked by it? Am I overreacting and just need to pull myself together, or is this a normal wobble after mat leave?

Very normal! I went back to my job so didn’t have the additional stress of finding a job but definitely found it daunting, struggled to speak up in meetings, my vocabulary had disappeared, things seemed much more difficult. It will get better!

So so normal. I would highly recommend hypnotherapy to get your mojo back. No jokes. Look up a decent practitioner in your area. Worked wonders for me

I had some real wobbles when I went back to work. My baby was only 6 months (I didn't live in the UK at the time and 6 months was standard mat leave there) and waking every 2 hours so it was a combination of sleep deprivation, hormones, missing baby, my brain not working, feeling out of the loop with work and developments. My bosses took away work from me in an attempt to give me an easier time on my return but that made me feel even more insecure.

I think it's normal but you do also just have to suck it up and move forward. Women go back to work all the time. Everyone is sad to leave their babies. But we have to provide for them.

Really common, as you have been out of the workforce for months. It does all come back to you when you return to work.

Yes, I’ve noticed my vocabulary is shot too. I struggle to articulate things anymore! Glad to know it’s not just me.

Thanks for the recommendation, I will look into Hypnotherapy.

Aww bless you, I’m lucky that I’ve had 10 months off but can also relate to the sleep deprivation and hormones being out of whack.

That’s true, doesn’t make the mum guilt any easier though 😞

so normal ! Back to work after mat leave is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. After my second baby I went for a KIT (keep in touch) day with my familiar workplace when my baby was 11 months old and I ran into my car at lunchtime and wept and wept. I’ll never forget it.
I went part time after that.
you were in a brand new workplace with unfamiliar people. Interviews are stressful aswell. Ending mat leave is stressful.
I continued to breastfeed my first two boys for a year after returning to work. It was such a lovely reunion at the end of a long day to feed him and have that lovely long cuddle.
join your local LaLecheLeague group for support with back to work or join FB group “breastfeeding older babies and beyond” for support and love!
good luck with everything.

Thank you so much! I’ve now joined both groups 😊