AIBU to park my van on the road?

[Vantopark]

My family and I live in a quiet village. DH and I have 2 cars between us which we park on the driveway. DH also has a separate work van which can’t fit on the drive, so he parks it down the road. He can’t park it directly outside our house because the road is narrow at this point and it would cause an obstruction. So he parks it legally on the road a bit further down where the road widens. It is not parked directly outside anyone’s house as there are no houses there, but it can be seen from some people’s windows at a distance. The parking is not at a premium, and there is always plenty of space left for other people to park there should they wish.

The other villagers seem to hate this. Their objection is based purely on the fact that they don’t like the look of it (it is sign-written). Not that it is obstruction anyone or using up valuable parking spaces (because it isn’t). They don’t have any objection to the other cars that are parked there. We’ve been asked repeatedly to move it, but as we haven’t obliged they are starting to get more aggressive, stopping me in the street to call me a ‘fucking selfish bitch’ etc. There are things I can see out of my windows that I would rather weren’t there, but I think that’s just village life isn’t it? There isn’t anywhere else that we can park the van in the village, anywhere else would be even closer to people’s houses.

YABU: yes you are a selfish bitch and the van shouldn’t be there

YANBU: You are legally entitled to park the van there, crack on and the neighbours need to get over it.

Sorry, no.

However ill you are, there are limits.

All the comments on this thread that are whinging about what vans look like, are nasty. It's the snobbish, selfish view that judging people who work (mostly) manual trades is somehow acceptable. Claiming that it is 'triggering' to look at a work van is absolutely absurd. (What next?! Might we have to look at - gasp! - poor people, too?)

If a van is parked illegally, of course it shouldn't be allowed. But the OP is describing perfectly legal parking, and people who find it an issue shouldn't pretend that it's anything but their own silly bias.

It isn't snobbery. I appreciate tradespeople, and they need their vans.

I wish I'd taken a photo I of the van that was parked outside my kitchen window yesterday. Cars park in that space all the time, which had absolutely no effect on me. But that van blocked my line of sight completely, and I found it really uncomfortable. But it was only there for the day, and it was my kitchen window.

Had it been parked outside my DD's tiny house with its one small living room window, it would have been unbearably oppressive. And parked there regularly would ruin her home for her in a way that a car would not.

So yes, everyone's situation is different. Everyone's life is different. And some consideration would be nice..

Sorry, yes. You said - 'I'm sorry you've got genuine health problems, but hiding behind them to make nasty comments doesn't help your case'

Stating the poster <not general comments on this thread> was hiding behind her incurable illness to make nasty comments. I can't see any nasty comments from them?

It's nothing to do with silly bias, residents should not have a van as a view from their window. Commercial vehicles should be parked at commercial premises unless the driver is self employed in which case they should be parked on the persons drive or right outside their house not outside someone else's. Of course it is legal to park a high sided commercial van outside someone else's window but as I said it is shit to do so. Some people are inconsiderate though unfortunately.

It's always nice when someone is considerate and doesn't park outside your window.

I get it - my house opens directly onto the pavement; my living room windows look out straight onto the road, and people routinely park outside.

But I don't take a snobbish, judgmental attitude towards them when they do.

The things I get angry about are people doing something that they shouldn't be doing - like sitting with the engine running for half an hour before school pick-up (I live next door to a school).

I don't think you can reasonably object because someone happened to block the view from your window. Lots of houses I've lived in, you simply don't have the option to care about this stuff.

So what you're saying is, you've made up a rule that suits you, and now you will make unpleasant comments about people who don't follow it?

That's childish and ridiculous.

No I'm saying you said a poster was hiding behind an incurable illness to make nasty comments. Whicn nasty comments?

I quoted her term 'triggering'.

There is nothing 'triggering' about being able to see a lettered van. She pretended that there was, then when I suggested that if she felt triggered by something like that, it was indicative of a problem with her mental state. So she took refuge in saying 'oh, but I really am ill!'

Come on.

If you're ill everyone should have sympathy, but you shouldn't use illness as an excuse to pretend that the sight of OP's family van could be 'triggering' to normal people. It's not.

'It's the snobbish, selfish view that judging people who work (mostly) manual trades is somehow acceptable'

I'm not sure where snobbish comes into it. I'd have the exact same concern if it was as posh commercial vehicle involvded in high end things if that helps.

Anyway, those with commercial vehicles parked outside their windows, ring the company (unless self employed obviously) state politely that the area is already congested and request they park their vans at work. It sometimes works..

So saying triggering is a nasty comment? Just admit it the pp wasn't using her incurable illness to make nasty comments you were mistaken and move on.

Yes, of course it's nasty.

I don't see any reason to 'admit' anything. You clearly have an extremely complicated relationship with truth, don't you?

Thank you for the positive remarks. The van blocking my and my neighbours views of the street is parked illegally. He has his own large space which also has a security camera installed by his housing association. We, the neighbours affected, believe he is being deliberately provocative as his behaviour is challenging and unacceptable. Some of the neighbours are actually frightened of him. It's a strange situation and I've had a rotten year with my children's father dying, a near fatal accident that meant major surgery for me and now this diagnosis. I'm probably far more sensitive than I should be, but am glad my neighbours are equally fed up. I don't believe I've made any nasty remarks, but @SarahAndQuack has obviously read something that I haven't intended into my post.

A normal sized Transit/Transporter van like many small businesses use, is hardly different in size to a larger 4x4, which I expect are all over your villages withouth complaints. It's not really to do with size or blocking light. Having your view disturbed is something you can only control if you don't have any neighbours.

I'm glad you didn't intend it. And I think you're right to note you're being over-sensitive. I don't think it is fair on the OP to drag in a totally different sort of situation from what she is describing. She and her DH haven't done anything illegal.

I hope your rotten year gets better.

Sounds awful. Hope it gets resolved.

There was absolutely nothing remotely 'nasty' in your post.

So sorry for everything you've endured with your dc's df death and now an awful diagnosis. I get it, stuff like this can just be the straw that broke the camel's back .

Tell me you've never worked in a trade where you need a trade vehicle without telling me.

It's a classic; this does not apply to me, so those who it does should be inconvenienced at any cost. It'd be like asking me to drive 100 miles to my office, then drive the other way to my meeting. - yep, let's just drive 40 mins out my way for zero reason, then I can go to the site.

And I bet the dad of the PP with the views about where commercial vehicles 'should' be parked when not in use would be the first to complain bitterly when he gets an extra hour's charge on his bill for the job he needs doing, for the tradie's time taken to fetch and return their van to somewhere he deems 'acceptable'.

Anyway, those with commercial vehicles parked outside their windows, ring the company (unless self employed obviously) state politely that the area is already congested and request they park their vans at work. It sometimes works..

Sorry, but you just sound like Hyacinth Bucket saying that.

If you have a car of your own parked on the road, you too are responsible for causing the congestion; and if you don't, what does it matter to you anyway?

It doesn't matter to me per se, we have loads of room for off street parking. It bothers me when I visit my family and have to painstakingly navigate around commercial vehicles cluttering up the street. Then those in mobility scooters struggle to get passed said vans that are half on the pavements.

Get your commercial vehicles parked in an industrial estate or use your driveway if self employed, it's not rocket science.

Disclaimer I don't care of they are workvans or posh vans it is the size and space taken up that is the problem.

Get your commercial vehicles parked in an industrial estate or use your driveway if self employed, it's not rocket science.

And if they're self-employed and don't have their own driveway?

The neighbours lower the tone in this case.

I hope councils start charging for street parking.

Clearly someone who doesn't live in an area where there is no other place to park! There's many roads in my local town where the houses are terraced with no front garden or very short (e.g. around 1m deep) front yards, and any (small) rear yards backing on to that of their neighbours. No car parks within a mile or two of their houses, and those wouldn't have the capacity to park residents cars. Where should those people park?

It's like the call for no parking on pavements - surely dependant on the circumstances? My road has triple width pavements on one side specifically so we can park on them and still leave a wider than normal pavement between the cars and the gardens for pedestrians to use on one side, so absolutely no reason for pavement parking to be banned there.

Tell them it's dh's van so if they have anything to say they'd better say it to him. Something tell me most of them won't act like this to a man.

You are being a little selfish as are your neighbours why can’t you park the van in the drive and your cars where you park the van. I think for peace i’d at least try this instead of making everyone life a misery including your own and potential your children’s as they get older as villages can be wee gossip places and it just takes some parent to say something in front of their child which could have a knock on effect on your children. Tou do know it’s nice to be kind

I wonder how many would tell your dh he is a selfish bitch to his face if you turned round and said it was nothing to do with you. You didn’t park it.