To think someone should complain to HR

[HildegardVonBingham]

Hi all,

I’m a trainee solicitor at a middling city firm. A new HO dept was brought in about 9 months ago. To date he has not bought in a single client. He is rude and bullying - especially to women. He loudly slags off other team members in an open plan office… He brags at length in team meetings about his property portfolio and how he’s allegedly dating the niece of a billionaire. Bit gauche, but not the end of the world.

However my colleague has overheard him saying iffy things about women twice. She heard him on loudspeaker to another partner claiming that two women wanted to go out with him on Valentine’s Day, and that he hoped he wouldn’t forget the name of the one he chose (!!). Last night she heard him speaking in hushed tones to another partner saying something about seeing a trainee ‘sweating buckets’ in the gym. I have no reason to disbelieve my colleague - it completely tracks with his behaviour. Acting this way in an open plan office with young women around is such macho bollucks and I think my colleague should report him to HR. If she doesn’t, how should I handle this? Initially I wanted to qualify into the team, and the NQ market is so bad right now… I know I’m bottom of the food chain so feel like there is little I can do.

Apologies if I’ve missed it but are you in corporate or insolvency @HildegardVonBingham ? I’m quite long in the tooth now being nearly 20 years PQE but I agree with PPs that some of the stuff I saw when junior ( and not so junior) was pretty hair raising. Times have changed and some of the worst excesses are no longer acceptable and I fully subscribe to the philosophy that you stand up for what’s right even if it costs you ( which it as me personally on a number of occasions, so you need to do so with your eyes open) but whilst this behaviour is definitely in the creepy sleezy category it doesn’t rise to actionable in my view, and complaining to hr will just get you tagged as difficult.

If you had a mentor or friendly face in the team you could mention it in passing as a way of making sure his behaviour is known as people will sneer and keep an eye on it, but as a trainee hoping to qualify and as nothing has actuary happened don’t stick your neck out as there is nothing to be gained.

As an aside if you are in corporate, insolvency or one of the more “macho” practice areas and want to continue in the city you will need to toughen up and be a bit less sensitive if you want to survive. The lawns full of egotistical white men, we all spend too long at work and at BD so you will hear a lot worse and you can’t let it get to you.

I think if I was a trainee solicitor I'd be keeping my head down and concentrating solely on my work.

People like this generally end up falling on their own sword over time. Keep notes and your head down.

Qualified solicitor here, now HR professional. Even if behaviour is inappropriate or rude, it’s not automatically an HR matter. Look up your firm’s policies and see if you think the behaviour you’ve experienced goes against them, and what the policy tells you to do if so. I went to HR during my training contract about one of my supervisors who was a known bully (they were my line manager so I had to go to HR), and I was offered a role at the end, so it’s definitely not a ‘career breaker’ if your complaint is reasonable and justified.

Those comments aren't really crossing any lines. The sweating buckets is a pretty common term that isn't exclusively used about women. His dating life outside of the office is nothing to do with HR. He could be dating 10 women and it still has no bearing on his job.

Report him for what exactly? Nothing so far is report worthy, you need something that is worthwhile before you go to his manager first, if no success then move on to HR.

Remember HR is not your friend, they #1 purpose is to protect the company, you need to have something that he does that is bad for the company or company image for them to really be bothered about it.

What he does in his personal time is his business. Yes he is being uncouth in the office in regaling his conquests but unless he is actually harassing said trainee, making comments directly to the employees or touching up employees, just leave it. It will not end well for you as a female trainee. Chances are if he hasn't brought in work, he will be out on his ear soon enough anyway. If he starts telling his stories to you, a simple oooh too much information should suffice to make him think twice.

Just ask out loud where his first client is

Stop gossiping about him with your colleague. Tell them to report it, or shut up about it.

Unless you’ve seen/heard the behaviours yourself, stay out of it.