To think there’s no fucking point?

[ScaryTimes]

I’ve spent the last 15 months completing a work related degree in order to achieve a promotion, which comes with additional responsibility, stress and risk of course. I hate my job to the point where it’s making me suicidal. Tomorrow I get my first “increased” wage, and out of a £7000 per year pay rise, I’m seeing less than £200 extra in the bank. WTF?? What a waste of my time, effort and life. AIBU to think that my life would be better if I took a minimum wage job that I actually enjoy and earn around £300 less than I do now?? I’m not bashing minimum wage jobs, just to be clear, but the job that I want to do is around minimum wage but minimum stress!

It's certainly not worth staying in a job that's making you suicidal; what benefits does it offer that you could enjoy if you weren't alive? You can't seriously be considering taking your life rather than changing jobs??

Something is very wrong if you're feeling suicidal about work. Yes, you should leave that role and look after your mental wellbeing.

Of course change jobs.. life is far too short to spend all your working days miserable

Go to your gp and get signed off to give you thinking / breathing space.

Do it now life is too short and precious.

Somebody I know killed themselves yesterday.

please look after yourself.

Change jobs. Someone I didn’t know in a company I worked committed suicide and a contract PA but been there 3-4 years resigned over mistreatment by her boss. Toxic environment.

If you hate your job to the point of feeling suicidal then whether it brings in an extra £200 or £500 a month is unimportant as no extra money is worth a risk to life.
Absolutely leave the job. Its not this one or NMW. There will be other jobs somewhere in between, like most people have.

All of this. It’s good you are able to express your feelings but you need proper support to rest and regain your perspective and get some space. Then you can think about changing job.

Can you tell us more about your situation?

Please contact your GP urgently. Also consider calling the Samaritans on 116123 if you want to talk.

Leave your job

I stayed in a job that I hated because the pay and package was so good - ended up having a break down , didnt work for 2 years and since then have been on casual contracts and NMW roles

So Ive never flown long haul, never had a cruise, dont go wining and dining in fancy places, but I have my health and mental health - worth more then anything

The only reason I keep going is that my colleagues would be even more stressed if I wasn’t there, and they are all lovely. We’re already 2 down in my small team. And the pension, but if I carry on like this I won’t be here to collect it.

@MatildaTheCat thank you I am in 3 weekly contact with my GP and prescribed fluoxetine but I can’t medicate my way out of this shit.

I should also add, my husband is not supportive of me leaving my job at all, so I can’t leave without something to go to.

Does your DH know you're suicidal?

You're absolutely right that there's no point in doing a job that's destroying you. Nothing is worth that.

You can leave a job without another one to go to, whatever your DH thinks about that, especially if it's to protect your mental health. I resigned from my job without anything to go to, because work stress was making me utterly miserable and I could see no way that it was going to improve in the short or medium term. I was a teacher, secondary, and had colleagues and exam classes relying on me, but at some point you have to recognise that you and your family are more important than they are.

Your lovely colleagues would not want you to be suicidal and stressed to this point, surely?

Please leave I was in a similar position. It was either leave or kill myself. I went into a lower paid but lot less stressful job, I stayed there for nearly two years. I got my health and confidence back. Applied for a very senior position later on and got it and am very happy with it.

He can't be supportive of you having a breakdown or worse, though. What money does he think you'll bring in if that happens?

Why doesn't he care? Would you find this easier to deal with if he had your back?

You must have heard the saying 'don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.' However much you feel for your colleagues, you are not doing yourself any favours and I am sure they would rather have you happy in another job than to be dealing with your suicide.

It is the fault of the management if things are so stressful for you all, do they know how you are feeling?

Congratulations on getting your degree. Will it help you find a better job?

I should also add, my husband is not supportive of me leaving my job at all, so I can’t leave without something to go to.

If your current job is giving you life threatening depression then yes, you can absolutely walk away from your job even if it’s initially sick leave. It’s very admirable to soldier on out of loyalty to your colleagues but not when the stakes for you are so high.

Can you discuss a period of sickness with your GP? It sounds as if the medication isn’t going to help when the root cause hasn’t changed.

Please take care of yourself.

The minimum rage rises again in April by 4%. So if your loss was as little as £300/annum then yes, you'd financially be better off, as well as better off in terms of wellbeing - which you absolutely do not owe your colleagues.

What tax band are you in and what are your pension contributions?

I don't really understand why your pay rise is subject to a 65% deduction unless you are a very high earner / have very high pension contributions.

Pension contributions ( which is admittedly a very good pension) and student loan payments as I have a previous degree too. I haven’t looked at my pay slip properly as I’m on leave this week and can’t bear to switch my work laptop on.

To answer a few questions, my colleagues would certainly be supportive of me but it’s undeniable that me being off sick would cause them a lot of hard work. We are already in the 140% region for our caseloads.

DH doesn’t know I feel suicidal as he wouldn’t get it at all.

I dont understand why you didnt realise this to begin with ? You must have known the wage increase and the relevant tax bracket.

I also dont understand why you tink a promote with more responsibility would help you out of a job you hate that is making you so ill. Surely it would intensify the pressure?
Sorry I dont mean to sound unsympathetic and I really hope you can discuss with your husband how this is making you feel and develop a plan of action together.

Would the lower wage job fulfill you mentally ? I've had jobs that are mind numbing. How long have you been on fluoxetine ? It was quite effective for me

I've just had a major health scare partly brought on by job stress. It's really not worth it. Your DH doesn't have to understand. Your wellbeing is your responsibility. Just apply for other jobs and change if you want to and tell him afterwards.
As for your colleagues I'm sure if they felt like you then they wouldn't hesitate to leave. You are not responsible for their wellbeing.
I'm sorry you're feeling like this to the extent that you're taking medication. Sometimes it's not until you're doing the job itself that youbrealise it's not for you. It doesn't matter that you trained for it. So many people do degrees and then realise the job they wanted to do wasn't for them after all. Be sensible and look after your mental health before it escalates. It'll be really freeing for you.

I did to be fair but seeing it in black and white (well green) was all the more depressing. o guess I hoped the government take home pay calculator would be wrong or something.

I did love my job when I applied for the degree course but things have got so much worse, very quickly. Even people that have worked there for 20-30+ years say it’s the worst it’s ever been at the moment.

@ThatFairy hopefully, as I would like a job working with animals.

Don’t discount the pension. Your increased salary will very much help with that and you’ll be glad of it in the future. It’s a benefit that not many people have these days.