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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu - difficult ex

1 reply

pollypkt · 25/02/2026 08:07

My ex and I struggle to communicate well as he has been very verbally abusive in the past. Normally by WhatsApp. (This is something he’s always denied, despite me being granted an emergency non-mol in 2022 due to this. But he denies it all because he knows I’m not one to contact his family with evidence)
After not seeing our child for almost a 6 months due to one of his episodes, where I then refused to meet with him, we are back in contact. However we’ve been communicating through his dad who I’ve never had any issues with. Last week after speaking to his dad we agreed that I should make a WhatsApp group with him, his dad and my parents as they support me with our child. That way all communication can be seen by everyone who may be involved in dropping off or collecting our child. I also wanted this because I felt that he wouldn’t message me the things he does if he knew others could see. He has completely refused to engage and left the group as he doesn’t feel like he needs to be a part of any group and insists I must communicate with him directly and privately. I have said that if he doesn’t wanna communicate in the group, then any arrangement to see our child will continue to be through his dad. His dad is okay with this. He is not. AIBU?

OP posts:
WelshRabBite · 25/02/2026 08:16

If he’s not abusive like he says, why does he have an issue with anyone else seeing his messages 🤷‍♀️

Obviously, I can see why a parent without a non-mol against them would find this intrusive, but basically he lost himself the right to contact you privately when he was abusive; that’s a him problem.

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