Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ghost From The Past Returned..

34 replies

AnotherDialEmma · 24/02/2026 22:12

Not really an unreasonable but more a dilemma and I’m not really sure why this has spooked me so much. I think it has brought things back.

Ten years ago I lost everything and had to start again after two bereavements and then losing my home. I found myself living in a council flat in a scary tower block with a violent criminal above me who had been housed there from prison and made everyone’s life hell. He broke into other residents flats and ransacked their homes but people were in such fear nobody did anything. He always seemed to target new residents that moved there and eventually it became my turn to be targeted. It started with verbal abuse and then quickly escalated into full blown harassment. He was extremely volatile and I was alone and terrified. After weeks of being intimidated I told the housing officer I was afraid of him and that’s where things went from bad to worse. He was enraged that I spoke to the council and assaulted me to shut me up then terrorised me out of my home for being a ‘grass’. He burned my doormat and pissed up my door then threatened to kill my cat. Every day I opened my curtains to find food and dog shit smeared all over my windows. Reporting it just made his behaviour a million times worse. I used to sit in the dark at night and hide behind the curtains. I was afraid to move in case he could hear me. Eventually he went to prison again for attacking someone else but the relief was short lived as he was released after a few months and his friend who lived in the same block kept letting him back in to hound and bully me. Out of desperation to get away I applied for a mutual exchange miles away and escaped to start again somewhere new.

For the last ten years I have lived my best life and have had a decade of peace and happiness and in many ways going through all that was the catalyst to turn my own life around. I actually thought he would be dead years ago because he was so heavily involved in drugs and looked almost on deaths door back then. To be honest I had forgotten that episode had happened. Then last week I opened my social media and guess whose photo appeared on my feed? He has done something terrible to someone else and there’s a police hunt going on several miles from where I live. There was a public appeal and the police were asking for anyone who could name the person in the photo. It was him. Older, but 100000% unmistakably him.

I honestly couldn’t believe what I was seeing and felt like I couldn’t let someone else go through what I endured. A few other people gave his first name. I replied anonymously and gave his full name thinking I would hear nothing more about it. The officer investigating the crime has now private messaged me asking if I have a phone number he can talk to me on and if I would be prepared to give a formal statement explaining how I know his full name for evidential purposes. But that would make it obvious to him where they got his name from. Maybe I just should not have told them anything but I was so angry that he had gone on to do something even worse. I couldn’t bare to think that after I escaped other people continued suffering and now he’s done something even worse. I felt I had to say something to help them put a stop to his reign of terror. My gut is telling me I can’t jeopardise ten years of peace by risking him finding out who it was that confirmed his name. I told them I need to remain anonymous as I’ve already relocated once to escape him but the thought that he is still destroying lives horrifies me.

I have to walk away and just not say anything more for my own safety and peace of mind don’t I ? Why did this have to appear on my feed ten years after I escaped that unbearable man? Why couldn’t he just stay metaphorically dead and buried? It feels in one respect like I now have an opportunity to right a massive wrong and get justice not just for myself but also help someone else get justice but at what cost? He won’t even remember me after all this time. I’m not even a distant memory to him. But at the same time I don’t really want to remind him who I am either in case he decides to come looking for me again.

All the asked for was the name. They already know he was at the crime scene. There was no indication they wanted statements or anything else.

OP posts:
AnotherDialEmma · 24/02/2026 22:12

Sorry that was long 😔

OP posts:
Tel12 · 24/02/2026 22:18

Normally I'd be inclined to say contact them but after all you've been through I'd be inclined to leave it alone. It's not as if you're a witness. I hope you continue to find peace.

AnotherDialEmma · 24/02/2026 22:21

This is what I can’t understand. I’m not a witness to anything and I can’t see how just knowing a name would need a statement. I agree though that it has taken so much to find peace it just isn’t worth opening this up again. I am just sorry for the other people that I wasn’t the last to suffer and things got worse

OP posts:
StasisMom · 24/02/2026 22:24

That sounds horrific, you must be very strong to have got through that! You’ve given his name, you aren’t a direct witness and probably could only really add that he’s a total wrong’un.

CombatBarbie · 24/02/2026 22:25

Hmm id be suspicious of this tbh. A name is a name, no need for witness statement. Once they have his name they can cross reference with his criminal record.

oviraptor21 · 24/02/2026 22:29

Agree with the above.
If he's been in prison before they will have their own records which they can use to prove his link to the current crime.

CakeFace1234 · 24/02/2026 22:33

You poor thing. What a horrendous time for you. I think you have done your part, you bravely provided his name. It sounds like he has enough of a criminal past to provide any information the police need. What a terrible human being that hasn't changed 10 years on. I'm so glad you got away.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 24/02/2026 22:33

they will need it so they can issue a warrant for his arrest. Once they have identified him then your evidence will not be needed.

AnotherDialEmma · 24/02/2026 22:34

I should add the message I had was definitely from the police. I have no worries with the legitimacy but as you all say it’s the thought of going back there again that’s the real concern. They have the full name now and have placed him at the scene

OP posts:
MeganM3 · 24/02/2026 22:36

I wouldn’t do anything on social media. It sounds a bit dodgy.
If you didn’t already, you could report to the police his assault on you if there’s evidence of it…and mention to the police as part of that that you’d seen him online wanted for another crime.

I’m not sure I could let someone terrorise me and get away with it.

AnotherDialEmma · 25/02/2026 08:03

I had further contact last night. The police officer confirmed that they needed formal identification to make an arrest and that they would have to disclose who had provided that information. In view of my own experience they said that they don’t want me to make a statement about how I knew his full name as he caused enough problems for me before.

One thing they did reveal was that they were able to link other incidents elsewhere with the same name and picture on record and were now working with another constabulary to find an alternative way of identifying him to progress the investigations. Hopefully that can be done another way so I suppose giving the name has brought some useful developments without compromising my own safety.

God I remember how explosive his anger was and you could still see the rage in his face on the cctv pictures after a decade. I have never experienced anger like it in my life and thankfully never have since . It must have been terrifying for his latest victim to experience that

OP posts:
DavidRosesEyebrows · 25/02/2026 08:14

CombatBarbie · 24/02/2026 22:25

Hmm id be suspicious of this tbh. A name is a name, no need for witness statement. Once they have his name they can cross reference with his criminal record.

It's standard practice for ID purposes, nothing suspicious about it. That said, the police and CPS can manage without it so I'd definitely advise the OP to not give a number in this case.

DavidRosesEyebrows · 25/02/2026 08:38

I didn't see the update.when I posted. Well done on doing a tough thing OP.

Tresesgreen · 25/02/2026 08:39

CombatBarbie · 24/02/2026 22:25

Hmm id be suspicious of this tbh. A name is a name, no need for witness statement. Once they have his name they can cross reference with his criminal record.

This it’s could be him trying to find you again don’t do it

Halphabetty · 25/02/2026 08:47

@AnotherDialEmmacan I just say how sorry I am that you had bereavements and that you had to endure all that trauma and then deal with that individual.

You said that the last few years have been great and that you've you've been having your best life. I know there's this blip now which brings stress but I wanted to wish you all the best for the future. It's not easy to move and begin again, it really isn't. You sound really lovely and you deserve continued peace and happiness 💐

RealEagle · 25/02/2026 09:07

So this man is known to the police and prison service,but they need you to identify him.

Galatine · 25/02/2026 09:27

Contact Crime Stoppers to pass your information. You can do this anonymously and safely 0800555111

AnotherDialEmma · 25/02/2026 10:48

Tresesgreen · 25/02/2026 08:39

This it’s could be him trying to find you again don’t do it

I did check and it was definitely the police social media account who contacted me but I can see what you mean.

OP posts:
AnotherDialEmma · 25/02/2026 10:50

RealEagle · 25/02/2026 09:07

So this man is known to the police and prison service,but they need you to identify him.

No, what they mean is that if someone gives the name of a suspect during an appeal for information they have to make a record of who identified them because the suspect has a right to know who gave their name to form a defence.

OP posts:
Maisey1991 · 25/02/2026 10:52

It blows my mind that the police can’t use their skills to find out his full name based on your information and prove his full name, from their investigation of “checking it out”. if you’d have rang crime stoppers it would be anonymous? What hell you’ve been through, he’s know to the police in other areas and to the prison system how can they not know who he is are they that incompetent??? Stay away protect yourself girl ♥️♥️

AnotherDialEmma · 25/02/2026 10:52

Halphabetty · 25/02/2026 08:47

@AnotherDialEmmacan I just say how sorry I am that you had bereavements and that you had to endure all that trauma and then deal with that individual.

You said that the last few years have been great and that you've you've been having your best life. I know there's this blip now which brings stress but I wanted to wish you all the best for the future. It's not easy to move and begin again, it really isn't. You sound really lovely and you deserve continued peace and happiness 💐

Thank you. It was like a bolt from the blue when I opened facebook and saw the cctv image. I just thought of all the people I could have recognised online, it had to be him!

OP posts:
Maisey1991 · 25/02/2026 10:53

AnotherDialEmma · 25/02/2026 10:50

No, what they mean is that if someone gives the name of a suspect during an appeal for information they have to make a record of who identified them because the suspect has a right to know who gave their name to form a defence.

It’s ridiculous isn’t it

CraftyNavySeal · 25/02/2026 10:57

AnotherDialEmma · 25/02/2026 10:50

No, what they mean is that if someone gives the name of a suspect during an appeal for information they have to make a record of who identified them because the suspect has a right to know who gave their name to form a defence.

What? Surely that only applies if you are accusing someone of a crime against you though.

There is no defence against a random member of the public identifying you apart from “it’s not me”.

AnotherDialEmma · 25/02/2026 10:58

Maisey1991 · 25/02/2026 10:53

It’s ridiculous isn’t it

It is madness. Criminals have a right to know who identified them though and the police have to disclose it so that they can form a defence. And because of the specific knowledge I have about him it would be obvious to him who I was.

OP posts:
AnotherDialEmma · 25/02/2026 11:00

CraftyNavySeal · 25/02/2026 10:57

What? Surely that only applies if you are accusing someone of a crime against you though.

There is no defence against a random member of the public identifying you apart from “it’s not me”.

No. Honestly, if you provide the name of a suspect they have a right to know who gave the police their name. They wanted a formal statement confirming that I had given them his name and said it would be disclosed who they got their information from.

From the communication:

”You are correct in that we were looking for someone to formally identify him in a statement and that would be disclosable evidence. I completely understand your reasons for not wanting to put your name on the record and do sympathise with you. ”

OP posts: