Having 1:1 time with children

[BigCola]

I’m a bit confused by this one. On another group i’m on a dad wanting occasional 1:1 time with each of his kids is being framed as “controlling” “unhealthy” or “weird”, when it’s in addition to his normal contact time, not instead of?

As a single mum, I’d actually love proper 1:1 time with each of mine. This is something I never get and It’s so hard constantly trying to do things that suit everyone someone always ends up dragged along to something that isn’t really their thing due to them having completely different interests. Having individual time means you can actually focus on that child and what they enjoy.

Don’t parents who are together naturally do this anyway? One takes one child out, the other stays home with the rest, etc. Why does it suddenly become unhealthy just because the parent is separated?

AIBU to think it’s perfectly fine to want 1:1 time with each child occasionally?

You SHOULD have 1-2-1 time with kids. Both parents. It's important.

I have 3 kids and find it really hard finding time to have 1-2-1 time with them all each week as I work full time!

All kids are so different so by spending time with them on their own you get to see the real them.

Mine are only bearable alone!

I jest but it’s only recently I have enjoyed spending time with them both and they are still a million times nicer and less stressful than together. So YANBU. However, if you have more than two children that’s always going to be difficult, I realise multiple births etc but if you have any more than two one to one time won’t happen much if at all.

It depends, ultimately if parents are separated it’s sort of down to themselves to sort out parenting on their time, not their ex to facilitate their 1 on 1 time. If a mother has the children all week and the ex is suggesting he takes 1 child on Saturday and 1 child on Sunday and therefore the mother is parenting 7 days a week on her own while the father isn’t I can see why there wouldn’t be an appetite to agree.

They had two children. (It wasnt instead of it separately to the current contact as mentioned)

I can’t really imagine the schedule he would be proposing? it just sounds inconvenient to be honest!

I’m not sure posting here about it is within the rules of that group. I’ve voted YABU because the dad in question doesn’t even have them overnight. Very convenient that he wants easy 1:1 time when the mum does practically 24/7 parenting on her own.

Well, that is rather different.

🥱 there was no mention of what contact he had just that he wanted to have 1:1 contact SEPARATELY to the contact he already had, not instead of.

This is the sort I think I pictured, ultimately it’s the dad wanting the mother to facilitate him having an even easier time parenting than he already gets.

When he wants to have them more than he does?

You’re choosing to post a specific circumstance and discuss it but without any details so it’s sort of pointless?

Well the post wasn’t complaining he didn’t have them overnight it wasn’t mentioned, the complaint was him wanting 1:1 time.

I’m assuming it’s the same situation, bit of a coincidence otherwise. Mum said in the op that the ex does school run once a week, has the kids for a few hours then brings them home. So no overnights.

In answer to your question yes it’s great for kids to have 1:1 with both parents but if that is to happen with separated parents then it requires communication and parents agreeing how to facilitate so that all parties feel the benefit. Not just the dad dictating what he wants.