to leave 3yo with dad

[glitterpaperchain]

Nursery called saying 3yo not feeling herself so I picked up early, she threw up in the car on the way home and has thrown up again within 20 mins of arriving home.

We also have a 7mo. Dad is 3yo's safe person (he used to be SAHD) and the one she asks for when ill, AIBU to leave dad to clean up and look after 3yo and take baby upstairs? This is what I've just done as I want to try to stop baby catching it (nursery had said 2 other children had vomiting this week)

I just washed my hands really thoroughly and brought baby upstairs but I'm feeling guilty and not sure what's best to do next. Luckily the children have very rarely been ill so this is all still new to me. Any advice appreciated

Makes sense.

What’s the concern?

Of course that's ok, quite sensible to stop the spread. Hopefully it's short lived.

Sorry to hear about your 3yo. What's this issue leaving them with Dad? Is it Mum guilt? The division of responsibility totally makes sense from what you've described.

Mum guilt, leaving dad to both clean up and look after upset 3yo while I basically chill upstairs with a happy baby

Why would it be unreasonable? Doesn’t sound like the dad is incapable? And a baby getting sick would obviously be bad… no brainer surely?

Haha you're so lovely,, as long as your son is happy with dad is so this in a heartbeat.

Ok thanks all, I feel like I should be helping and just needed to hear that leaving them is the right thing for baby

This is fine. I’m immunocompromised (cancer) and when my dc got a vomiting bug recently, I literally took to my bedroom and left Dh to do all the middle of the night scraping of vomit out of carpets. It’s fine. Someone has to do it, it might as well be the parent for whom there will be less serious consequences (or in your case, only one sick child rather than two).

Also the baby is breastfed so I need to be the one to take her

I am a bit confused over who had the baby anyway and if both parents were home anyway.
If you and dad were both home and neither had work commitments then I think it's fine for you to take one each.
If either of you were meant to be working I would have left the other parent to get on with it alone (unless WFH and can flexitime or took an extended break to help with the clean up and then returned to work).
For most people there will be occasions where one parent will need to deal with a sick child as well as a healthy one alone.

Please don't become a martyr

Yes it’s completely reasonable for a parent to parent their child when they are unwell

You are way over thinking this.

Ok the moment is over, she's doing a lot better and I have stopped panicking 😅

If we were ever both there whilst one of ours had vomited, we would both muck in, so I think YABU.
I can imagine how different the answers would be if your dh just opted out and went to play with a happy baby, whilst you were left to both comfort and clean the unwell child and clean up the room and car.

Obviously, if only one of us were there, then we cracked on with it, but if we were both there, one would sort the child and the other the mess they created with the vomit. So I think YABU.

The only reason this would be wrong is if the 3 year old is actually terribly unwell and needs someone to be making sure she doesn't pass out or something while the other cleans up. Assuming she just has a nursery tummy bug, it's sensible. After all, if the baby starts vomiting too 2 of you will have to deal with 2 vomiting kids and the clean up! That would be the same as one dealing with one vomiting kid and the clean up only much worse! Hope she's better soon!

If she is happy with dad and he is coping fine, it makes sense to have one sick child and not two. You’d feel more guilt if the baby started vomiting and you could have avoided it.

So you think they should just risk the vulnerable baby catching a vomiting bug to make things fair for the adults? Yeah very sensible

They live in the same house......

Dont understand this. What's the problem. Dad is there so dad will sort it.

Yes?

Just make sure you put towels under the sheets, along with a change of bottom sheet, so if she voms muddle of the night you just whip the bottom sheet and towel below off and only faff is changing the quilt cover.. perhaps use blankets for tonight as its not so cold.

towel and sick bowl by the side of the bed. Nurofen and a glass of water in the bathroom nearby, along with maybe some plain crackers or a banana out downstairs

Wash clothes and bedding on hot tonight/tomorrow with dettol or milton if you have any.
Hand-wash lots all of you and gargle with mouth wash or chlorhexadine, some evidence to show it helps prevent infection
Lol
I quarantine my kids to a certain spot on sofa, sat on their own blanket so I can wash it 🙃 I hate sickness bugs

@Keroppi great advice thank you so much. We've been lucky so far that she's never had a vomiting bug before so this kind of advice is really helpful

No words of wisdom except you'll get through this, and thank goodness we're past all that, good reminder of what its like to be in the thick of it with a baby and toddler