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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Weirdo and now feeling anxious

33 replies

Anxiousq · 24/02/2026 12:10

As I was entering my workplace a guy stopped me to speak to me he seemed pleasant at first I thought maybe he was asking for directions or just being friendly.

He said he knows my workplace very well and asked what department I work in and what my name is. I felt a little weirded out by him but didn’t want to be rude so told him. I make my way to enter the building he stopped me again and kept talking. I said I need to get going but he continued. He said he’d like to come in and do a talk I told him to email them or call and I can’t help him. He then said my name and said “it was lovely to meet you and I’ll tell them you recommended me to come in and do a talk”.

I feel so annoyed I didn’t just ignore him but also I suffer from anxiety so I am overthinking this massively. I’m very new to the job and feel really awkward this weirdo is going to say he knows me and I’ve told him to come and do a presentation!

please talk me down from this. Yes I know in the future just walk on and don’t give real name etc.

OP posts:
Itsmetheflamingo · 24/02/2026 14:30

Greenwriter76 · 24/02/2026 14:29

Chances are one or more of your colleagues has also experienced this person - I had a similar thing happen to me when I first started at a new job, and when I told my colleagues what happened, they knew who I was speaking about, as he had done the same to them. Not to worry you at all, but in my case unfortunately he was a town weirdo and he used to hang around outside the building! But to me it sounds as though the man who approached you was touting for business (tho also possibly a weirdo!).
If you don’t want to speak to your manager / colleagues then just email your manager. I believe it can only relieve your anxiety around the whole thing because you will have got it off your chest and potentially your manager can offer some wisdom / experience on this person - or if not, you have prepped them for if he does approach the company on the false pretence of your reccomendation, which your manager should appreciate.

andyes i totally agree the chances are very high he’s tried it with your peers.

givemushypeasachance · 24/02/2026 14:38

Itsmetheflamingo · 24/02/2026 14:29

But this is an uncomfortable discussion that took place on the steps outside the office from someone who did not subsequently try to trail or force entry, so for me as an employee I wouldn’t consider that meeting the criteria you describe.
I don’t accept that means I would be “looked on negatively” just as I wouldn’t look upon my staff who had dealt with it in the same way negatively.

Show quote history

Social engineering isn't just trailing/tailgating or trying to force entry - people acting like they know you, or know a colleague of yours, trying to encourage you to share details of your role and team so they can drop that into conversations with other people later on - it could all count. Equally it could be totally innocent. It's not for us as individuals in the moment so much to judge, pass the info on to the security team and let them judge whether it's relevant to anything. In the same way as I don't know if a suspicious link is fishing or not, I'll forward it on, let them deal with it.

https://www.npsa.gov.uk/security-campaigns/social-engineering-0

Itsmetheflamingo · 24/02/2026 15:14

givemushypeasachance · 24/02/2026 14:38

Social engineering isn't just trailing/tailgating or trying to force entry - people acting like they know you, or know a colleague of yours, trying to encourage you to share details of your role and team so they can drop that into conversations with other people later on - it could all count. Equally it could be totally innocent. It's not for us as individuals in the moment so much to judge, pass the info on to the security team and let them judge whether it's relevant to anything. In the same way as I don't know if a suspicious link is fishing or not, I'll forward it on, let them deal with it.

https://www.npsa.gov.uk/security-campaigns/social-engineering-0

Show quote history

Yes but as I said- it would be totally normal not to “report” this encounter and if we weren’t having this specific conversation I would have no need to know the definition of social engineering.

Dextersgoneovertherainbowbridge · 24/02/2026 15:18

Is it the sort of place where outsiders come in and give talks?

givemushypeasachance · 24/02/2026 15:18

You do you! Just mentioning that it could be "a thing", always better to report and it turn out to be nothing than to ignore, and if a colleague of mine mentioned this happening to them, I would advise them to report it through our processes.

NotAnotherScarf · 24/02/2026 15:31

Anxiousq · 24/02/2026 14:08

This is my concern that I could look like a drama queen! I just told a couple of my colleagues and they just laughed they didn’t think it was an issue from their reaction.

I think I will cause more problems if I start emailing people and make it bigger than it needs to be. If I pass my manager today I’ll tell them in passing.

Edited
Show quote history

That's all you need to do. Otherwise it could back fire when he rocks up with a display board, laptop, projector and says " oh xxx said she'd set up a presentation for me and a meeting with the CEO". Some sales people can be remarkably pushy and chance their arm

IwishIcouldconfess · 24/02/2026 16:36

NotAnotherScarf · 24/02/2026 15:31

That's all you need to do. Otherwise it could back fire when he rocks up with a display board, laptop, projector and says " oh xxx said she'd set up a presentation for me and a meeting with the CEO". Some sales people can be remarkably pushy and chance their arm

Show quote history

Surprised you didn't get whiplash from that leap!

BountifulPantry · 24/02/2026 17:28

You said in your OP you told this man info because you didn’t want to be rude.

Give yourself permission to be rude next time. As women were socialised to be people pleasers. Fuck that.

Practice some phrases you could use next time. “I’m not telling you that- I don’t know who you are”. Or “Do I know you?”. Or “why are you asking that?”

Or just plain old “No”…

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