Why can't I be bothered?

[HolaPretty87]

I am not depressed and I know this because I get a deep sense of happiness from doing my own thing, exercising, making and eating nice food, seeing my son happy and taking him to his activities, supporting his friendships and chatting to him. I like chatting to my sister. I enjoy spending time with my husband. But I have an ever growing list of things I either can't be arsed with, or serious lack of motivation in others. Examples include my job where I used to be extremely conscientious and going the extra mile. Now I cba. I do still produce work to a reasonable standard turn up on time etc, but I have completely lost the "mojo" I had for it. Other things include
Socialising in loud, crowded places.
Most socialising in general. I cannot be arsed. I couldn't care less about going out socially. Prefer being at home.
Alcohol - used to love a drink. Now one drink makes me feel ill for days, so not worth it.
Social media- (apart from MN) deleted it all. Cba interacting/posting. Just don't care. Overwhelmed with all the adverts.
Petty BS. Dont care who has upset who over minor inconveniences.
I am almost 43 and have been a life long people pleaser. That has gone out the window. I dont purposefully upset people, but I don't go out of my way to please anyone, unless its my DH, DS or sister.
Is this perimenopause? Been on HRT a year which has helped my symptoms (hot sweats/rage). If I forget to use it the rage comes back. I sleep fine and feel mainly good. Just seem to have had a personality shift. Anyone else had this?

Definitely perimenopause! I was in my 50s before the change in attitude really hit. Embrace it - it’s actually very liberating! Caring less about stuff you used to fuss about, being a people pleaser, etc. is wonderful. 😄

Ha this sounds like me and I’m a similar age! I used to roll my eyes at how intolerant my parents had become as they got older but now I’m right there with them! CBA with most of it - patience levels for BS at all time low, patience levels for anything non existent - CBA going out, drinking or even friendly chit chat. I am trying to out more effort into my career post kids (single mum to 3 so all my energy has gone on them the last 5 years) but that’s really only to get a promotion

Ive litterally just posted somethimg like this but a lot more unhinged version as im not on anytjing

As we mature we gradually realise that life is short and we start to weed out the stuff we have been doing as a matter of course or to please others and begin to concentrate on those things which we find truly life enhancing.

You are normal! Concentrate on those things that are meaningful to you. And enjoy!

Hi op just wanted am make and I feel the same way.

Loved going out lads holidays and the like but after going on one last year that I planned spent most of the time missing my wife and boys and would have much rather gone with them.

Since then have taken a step back and although it feels strange it feels good. Seeing m sister and her kids more think I just want a smaller life.

Maybe you’ve just grown up. Being a people-pleaser is often a sign of immaturity and insecurity — you dash about doing things for other people because you can’t cope with the discomfort of saying no, and because you think it makes people like you. Of course it doesn’t, and it puts off actual friends. Now you’re finally centring yourself.

Yeah I feel like this at 44. I'm putting my energy into things that I think are worth it, and I'm done being polite to arseholes. I'm quite enjoying my new perspective. DP is the same mind you, so I don't know if it's hormones or maybe something resembling wisdom 🤣

Similar age, no HRT but feel the exact same.

It's about getting older. Nothing wrong with your taste in noise and socialising changing. You might consider a change of job though if you continue so uninterested.

Similar age and definitely the same, but definitely up and down with hormones. Just skipped my period again, still had the hormone fluctuations and can’t be fucked feelings. But it never arrived like many a time over the last year.

I have realised why older people sometimes seem lonely…I cba keeping up relationships just for the sake of it. Also why their homes seem old fashioned… cba renewing things unless they’re broken. Thankfully I still like new clothes 😂

only 43?!

You wait till you hit mid-50s...then you REALLY REALLY REALLY won't be arsed with other people/social events/other people's crap...😂😂

Thanks so much for all your replies, it is good to know there are many of us out there feeling the same. I wondered the other day if I'd finally just grown up.