Kids In The Pub

[AliceTheCamel1]

I run a busy pub with a large beer garden, and we are family and dog friendly. In the summer everyone is outside and it’s all good but during the winter customers are mainly indoors in much smaller area. We often have young children crying in the pub, and as a mum I totally get it and it is hard. When my boy was little I’d take him outside to settle or would sometimes abandon a trip to the pub if that wasn’t possible. No one had to ask me because I thought it was the norm.

We are finding it really difficult to explain to customers politely that persistent crying in the bar (as with any persistent noise disturbance from adults or dogs) can’t continue as we need to create a chilled environment for the majority of our guests. Customers are really defensive when asked if they could pls step outside to settle the baby. We never suggest folks have to leave or throw anyone out. Are we being unreasonable? How should we approach this without upsetting anyone?

We’re a pub at the end of the day and we’ve received complaints in the past that the bar is getting a bit like a day care, so we need to prioritise grown ups in order to pay the bill. Pls help!

How about you introduce areas of the pub that are ok for under 18s and dogs (the beer garden, and access to the toilets only) and the rest of the place is over 18s?

I would go to your pub as you sound like a sensible person! Any enclosed public space and if my kids were crying and going on I was out of there. Just say what you said here

We’re a pub at the end of the day and we’ve received complaints in the past that the bar is getting a bit like a day care, so we need to prioritise grown ups in order to pay the bills.

You’re either family friendly or not I suppose. Do you serve food? If not then I think you’re being reasonable.

I don’t go to the pub often, but I do enjoy taking my kids in summer where they can run around outside (my local provides a kids bouncy castle area so it’s intentional). It’s so nice to be able to relax with a glass of wine in the sunshine with the kids happy and then walk home in the evening. That’s said, if my baby was crying uncontrollably then I would leave.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, but I wouldn’t want to risk alienating the family friendly customers either (unless you’d rather not have them haha). Can you create a separate more intentional space for the families? If not then why not put a cut off time for when kids under, say, 14 can attend? E.g. “Families with children under 14 are welcome between the hours of 12 - 4pm”.

Maybe adults only after 6pm might help?

Personally I have mixed feelings as I feel children shouldn’t be in pubs, although the local Wetherspoons can resemble day care 😂

Can you have an adults only area of the bar?

I think a separate area for over 18th only is a great idea. Suits everyone’s needs then.

You are completely reasonable. My local had this issue last week, the two couples with babies seemed completely oblivious to the fact that their lengthy drinking session had bored their dc and the rest of us were fed up with the crying, bar manager had to step in but thankfully she had the perfect excuse, no kids allowed after 8pm (in fact they turn a blind eye if dc are behaving)

This. Why are people taking their children in pubs I never did are they sitting at a table eating or are the parents just drinking.

Adults only area, plus no kids after 8pm. That’s what my local does and it works perfectly.

I don’t agree with “you’re family friendly or you’re not”. Being family friendly doesn’t mean that kids/babies should be crying to the point they’re disturbing other customers. Most people would remove a crying child from a social situation as most people are self aware enough to understand that other people don’t want to listen to a crying child that won’t settle. Those parents who are so self absorbed that they don’t think it’s an issue to just not care about the fact that their child is ruining everyone else’s experience are the problem.
Same with dogs. Just because a pub is dog friendly doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to allow a dog to bark constantly. If you can’t stop it (baby or dog!) you need to leave. It really is as simple as that.

I regularly tuck my screaming toddlers under my arm to sit in the car to see if they’ll start behaving. And if not we stay there until the rest of the family are ready to leave. They’ll soon learn.

I do think that children should be welcomed into all areas of public life if we are to properly address the population crisis in a meaningful way. And the population crisis is terrifying if you look into it properly.

My local (literally 100y from my front door), was purpose-built by the temperance movement in 1903 as a family-friendly establishment, the sort of place respectable working-class people could bring their whole family for a moderate drink.

So I am happily carrying on the tradition by taking my 2yo out for dinner. He loves the pub, it's just a nice place for him to eat.

Separate area and / or no kids after 8pm

if you advertise as family friendly then you need to accept that babies are going to cry

I mean you shouldn’t have to tell people this! That said, I know plenty of people whose desire to get some wine in is much more important than their babies and annoying everyone around them.

Do you have a bar and a restaurant area? Can you make the bar over 6s (choose an appropriate age) and restaurant area for families with young children?

Are there repeat offenders? Because in that case, I’d be much more inclined to be quite firm with them that they need to step out, in the hopes that they won’t return.

If you're advertising as family friendly then patrons and yourself should expect noise from children

If your other patrons are complaining then create an 18 plus area and enforce a curfew of no under 10/12/14 whatever after 8pm as many places that aren't chains have started doing

WE have stopped going to one brunch place
its like sitting in a flipping crèche crossed with Battersea dogs home. Awful.

A pub near me allows children as long as the adults are dining. If drinks only then they have to be in the garden play zone or not there at all. I think that's quite reasonable.

I think you just need to be explicit with your rules or boundaries.

Nope from children, fine. Screaming kids while their parents make no attempts to settle them, not fine.

Second this.

We went to a pub (recommended by a friend with 2 dogs) for my birthday a few years ago.
Probably 5 sets of people with dogs came in, every time a new dog came in the others went bananas, we could barely hear ourselves think, let alone have a conversation! I think there were some young kids there (mine were teens) but i wouldnt have known if they cried because the dogs were going berserk!

I think there's a difference between family friendly eg catering for children (high chairs, baby changing, colouring, kids menu etc) and tolerating children crying/shouting and running around which impacts other customers

I go to a "wet" sweary old men's micro-brewery pub each week to nurse a coke (I'm driving) and read a book while my DC is at an activity nearby.

Children are allowed in before 7pm (which has been reduced for a more "adult atmosphere")
Unfortunately I'm in there prior to that when families turn up, shove a fruit shoot and bag of crisps at the kids along with their tablets and crack on with a couple of drinks and generally ignore them.

A couple of weeks ago I had to tell a child not to play with his toy car on my table, and block their dog from getting on me when it ambled across the room along the bench seats.

If I wanted to hang out at a soft play, I'd borrow a friend's kid and hang out at a soft play.

Unfortunately, I'm only buying a soft drink and they're spending ££ each week so the publicans tolerate it.

My local pub does bar meals and also frequently attracts the "one more bottle while the kids run laps" type. If I'm in there, I'm normally eating with my teenagers so can't access the 18+ bar area to swerve the children.

I'm not anti-child, I have my own and I've put in more than my fair share of effort over the years to ensure they behave or remove them promptly to avoid disturbing others (including if an autistic meltdown is in the early stages of brewing...). It does piss me off when my quiet adult/ civilised older child time is ruined by people who can't be arsed to parent and are more interested in having their drink regardless.

I think many places are at the point where there needs to be clear signage about expectations of behaviour.

Thanks for all your really helpful comments :) We don’t have room for a separate family area unfortunately and we are happy for kids to be here until 7pm. We are a semi remote location with street food on weekend afternoons so families often stop by on a walk. I think there is a difference between family-friendly and family-orientated as there is a difference between a pub and a soft play. And I understand that children do come with a level of noise. I want to establish a policy for the team so they know at what point we should speak to a family about noise levels and how intervene without upsetting anyone Or do you think some folks will always get upset if challenged, even if friendly and discreetly?

I think it should be kids in the garden only. That’s what my FANTASTIC local does. In all the years I’ve been going there very regularly I’ve only seen it be a problem once.

I think a lot of parents are just immune to the noise of their own kids and don't hear it. White noise. I'm convinced that this is the problem most of the time.

That being said, keep doing what you're doing. (Friendly) Signs everywhere and then no one will be surprised when you step in.

Thanks, I think you’re right and some polite signage and a bit of social will help - the team can then refer customers to it without too much fuss. I worked up this messaging last night:

Children and dogs are welcome indoors, but remember we're a pub first! To make sure everyone can enjoy a relaxing pint, please...

Supervise little ones at all times and step outside with any loud or fussy children.

Keep dogs on leads, quiet and under control.

Thanks for helping to keep the vibe exceptional for everyone!

agree with modifications. There are areas of life that adults should be able to enjoy free of their own and/or other people's children. And i belive the inside of a bar is one of them.

I am more happy to see children if their parents aren't ignoring them and letting them be a problem.

But then now i have grey hair, i am much more likely to say "stop that" to a child making a pest of themselves and "go back to your parents". And they are more likely to listen.