Finding DH driving habits incredibly annoying.

[BinnyWeasley]

Will preface with this with the fact that I do roughly 90% of the driving, especially if it's longer distances and will only ask him to drive if I'm tired etc.

He is so totally oblivious to everything on the road, he will quite happy bumble along at 45/50 on the A303 on the single carriageway bits with a huge line of cars behind him. We're currently on our way back with our 11mo, roughly a 3 hour drive that is going to take 30-40mins longer just because he drives so incredibly slowly. It's taken me 30mins to get screaming baby to go to sleep and as soon as he wakes he's going to be screaming again. If I were driving we would be home by now.

He is constantly braking with no need - will slow for a junction before he can even see it, does 40mph in 3rd gear. In the time it has taken me to type this, he has managed to take the wrong turning despite only needing to remain on the same road.

Sorry, needed to rant, going insane, baby has woken and we're listening to the same song (the only song that calms him) for the millionth time and we're still miles from home. Sometimes I wonder if this is weaponused incompetence so I won't ask him to drive in future.

Blimey, I don’t think I would have had a baby with someone so annoying, sorry 😂

Hahaha! I feel you! I've been with DH for 9 years this year, and until this year I've been the driver as I have the big 7 seater, and adding him to my insurance was too expensive. Added him this year, and ohmygod I did not know he was a middle lane hogger. Well, any lane really. Except the left hand lane. Just did a shared drive home 2hrs a piece and had to bite my tongue the whole way as I was too tired and would have snapped!
There is literally nothing I don't love about my DH, so this came as a shock! I should have tested this out years ago 🙈. Anyway, my sympathies are with you. I'm still working out how to broach the subject without seeming like a nag!

I simply wouldn't drive or reproduce with someone so useless. Just drive yourself, and let him see to the baby.

That would drive me insane. Can you have an honest talk to him about it? It sounds like he simply hasn't had enough practice behind the wheel. Can you be blunt and tell him he's a terrible driver and if he doesn't improve he's going to cause an accident. Perhaps he should go on a defensive driving course? If he pushes back, you may need to give him an ultimatum.

He doesn’t actually sound safe to be driving if he’s randomly slowing down way too far ahead of junctions.

Have you said anything to him? I don’t think i could bite my tongue with an occasional “what’s the speed limit on this road”, “what did you brake for?” As for music, I couldn’t listen to the same song on repeat. We never let the children pick the music when driving. Never had a child’s CD or playlist. Drivers privilege. Hope you’re home soon.

Is this a new thing or has he always been a poor driver?

Personally, I'd not have got involved with someone who couldn't drive properly, and certainly not married them or had children with them.

It's a basic life skill.

I'd never want to end up the "main" driver for lots of reasons.

That sounds infuriating OP.

I know 2 friends who always seem to drive in a gear lower than they should be whilst chatting inanely as we drive along 😂 they are good friends and I love them nearly but often find myself mentally pressing the brake pedal on the passenger side.

Had a situation locally where the lanes were blocked up due to an accident on the main road. Realised about 7 cars including me would need to reverse back out the lane. The look of panic when telling drivers they needed to back up 😂 they were petrified. Is the driving test easier now and no one needs to reverse their car?

I couldn’t cope with having a partner like this. None of us are perfect drivers. Is your dh completely unaware of the snake of cars building up behind him?

You could be describing my husband. He loathes driving and he freely admits he is not a good driver.

i drive for a living, I’ve had lots of additional training, being on courses blah blah blah, but the majority of drivers our age passed their test in an 850cc mini top speed of about 55, and now cars do that in second gear!!

We had a beetle for quite a while, and he could never tell what gear he was in, his excuse was it doesn’t matter they are so noisy!

We have a vw lupo automatic as a second car, and I must admit I do feel safe with him in that, but if he drives the Saab he doesn’t take corners wide enough and goes up the kerb etc etc

To get to work, there is a bus it takes him well over an hour each way, but he reads and he gets to work/home relaxed.

Mine is a good-ish driver (he’d say he’s great, ha) but I mentally hit the accelerator when he’s “taking it easy” in the slow lane at 60mph when we’ve got a fussy baby in the car. Sometimes I do a not-so-subtle glance at the speedometer. This usually works and he’ll speed up. If he’s in the right mood I can just tell him to speed up. Any minutes shaved off a drive with kids is a win and being the kiddie car entertainer is draining! Hope you’re home soon. I’d have a word at a neutral time, i.e. can we drive at the road speed please.

Braking before a junction sounds downright dangerous. We always wonder about drivers who brake in the middle of the road for seemingly no reason – is this why?!

My father in law is similar. First time being in a car with him last week after 2 years, just about made it home in one piece. Was driving at one point with no lights on, on a 60 mph road! He said they were on auto so were on..
err how come we cant see to the end of the bonnet?!? Breaking for no reason and taking forever to pull out onto the roundabout....he is so doddery on his feet just walking around the house, I won't be getting In a car again with him. Tempted to hide his keys...

You weren’t in a red car with him on the A272 one wet evening last week, were you, @BinnyWeasley? Single lane country road, yes the 60mph limit is too fast for a lot of it, but 25-30mph for the entire 8 mile stretch was… trying, to be behind 🤯

Massive ick.

I hate my husbands driving that much, we have our own cars now. The deciding factor was when he didn't stop at a roundabout & just carried straight on. A car was on the roundabout and he should've stop & given way to it. The car had to slam it's brakes on (and I mean slam them on) & I said WTH are you doing! Oh how he is NEVER wrong he swore blind there wasn't a car there until I played him the dash cam footage back.