Daughter going on Omegle. Thoughts please. AIBU

[LemingsLemon]

My daughter is 13. We thought we could trust her so have never put any limits on her tablet/phone usage. Just that they both go off at 9pm in the week, 10pm at weekends and they go downstairs for the night. We have given her the chat around internet safety etc.

I went on her tablet today- and the website Omegle was open on there. I wasn’t being nosey, my phone was dead and needed to look something up for my Mum.

So I grew up with MsN chat rooms. Lying about my age and talking to much older men. It never went any further than meaningless chat online but obviously now im a parent I can see another side to it.

I spoke to her about it and she has told me she only talks to other young people on there and if anyone older tries to talk to her she tells them to leave her alone. She has told me in the past her and her friends have had a laugh and wound some of them up together calling them names etc

Not sure where to go with this. My heart is saying put parental controls on her devices, DH is saying have a chat with her and keep an eye on it and see what happens.

Negligent not to have parental controls tbh are you being serious? Be the adult.

She has no idea who she could be talking to! How do you not understand that?

You are insane not to have had any parental controls on her devices. Do you ever even check what she is accessing? Or who she is talking to?

”we thought we could trust her”

Please understand that kids and teens don’t have to be trying to access dodgy stuff on the internet, to see it. The internet brings it to them. At best the internet and apps are designed to be addictive and to market stuff to you. At worst they are a channel to allow your child to access horrible content and people - whether she intends to or not.

Obv the internet also has wonderful uses and aspects. But it needs to be limited whether your trust your child or not.

You absolutely do need to have parental controls on her tablet and you absolutely do need to be checking what she’s doing online, I’m shocked anyone wouldn’t do that?

As you’ve not, you need to start right now, your DHs reaction is verging on negligence tbh, she could be exposed to anything if you’ve no controls at all!

I grew up in the MSN age. I absolutely did stupid shit with it, stuff I would be horrified if my kids did now. I 100% spoke to men who were pretending to be my age, I can see that now as an adult. My 13 year old has his phone locked down and even then I accept I can't stop everything so still need to keep an eye. You need to talk to her and put some controls on it. Just because she thinks she's talking to people her age it doesn't mean she is. That's literally how grown men groom children.

Block the website for sure.

We used to go on Omegle and chat roulette as a kid. You have to skip through to find people to chat with and every other person was either a cock or someone wanking

This, you have been incredibly naive.

She does, it's video chat, she can see who she is talking to.

Not that this makes it any better an idea because omegle is absolutely full of guys exposing themselves.

”I wasn’t being nosey”…Frankly speaking you do need to be nosey, she’s your 13 year old DD, not your neighbour.

I have a 13yr old. I have family link on her phone, all social media is blocked, and I check it at least monthly.

As much as you may "trust her" she doesn't have the knowledge or experience to deal with being online and open to the whole of the Internet.

Also, you may trust your daughter but its thousands of men online that you CAN'T trust.

Its a lot of weight and pressure to put on a child's shoulders, to keep themselves safe without the appropriate tools to do so

Omegle is a cesspit. It randomly connects you with people, mostly men, mostly wanking

Omegle has an over 18 policy. Your DD said she tells adults to leave her alone? That doesn't make sense as you can just click to the next person. She has probably already seen every weird thing the internet has to offer.

Do you mean ome TV beacuse Omegle shut down permanently in 2023 due to not keeping children safe.

Your dh wants to wait and see what happens? Seriously? Naive at best.

Get controls on the phone. Make sure you can see what websites she is on and block accordingly. Block some anyway, before she even signs up. Check daily.

Check her phone, ensure location is turned off, before some stranger turns up at your house or school. Keep checking it. Randomly.

If you think this is over reacting or an invasion of her privacy, then you must live under a rock. And yes, bad things do happen. Bad people are looking for easy targets. You might as well leave your front door wide open 24/7

As pp said, do you mean the sister company Ome TV? Omegle shut down a few years ago due to lawsuits on how unsafe it was for kids.

Either way, I would get some parental controls and block anything like Omegle. No matter how much you trust your dd, she’s too young to protect herself from predators. You need to keep talking to her about what apps and sites she’s got access to, who she’s talking to online, what she’s posting as well as what she’s looking at. Try and keep her talking to you openly about all this, and tell her she can come to you and talk to you about anything that worries her

Jesus Christ, Omegle is the one of the worst cesspits of the internet.

You have been and are continuing to be incredibly naive and negligent over your daughter's online safety!

Parental controls immediately.

Omegle is a careful site these days. Faces have to be visible and its moderated 24/7

Tell her absolutely not. Tell her exactly why it's dangerous and block the website, put parental controls on and monitor internet use.

I used to go on that like 15 years ago!!! We would go on it during sleepovers and we saw so many old men m*sturbating, it was wild. I look back and think how awful it was our parents didn’t know what was going on. Do not let your daughter on that site.

We were warned by the school about this site. Put age appropriate restrictions on her devices. Mine are late teens now and have actually admitted we were right to restrict times /apps /sites as they can see what effect they have had on others.