to want a non-smoking nursery key worker for my baby?

[jkklpu]

My ds2 will be joining ds1 at my work nursery for 3 days/week when he's 9 months old. Nursery is fantastic with lovely staff and low turnover.

The thing is, there are 4 f-t staff in the baby room and 1 is a smoker. I know this because she's usually outside the building finishing her fag when I drop ds1 off in the morning. I really don't want my baby to spend much of his day being cuddled by someone who stinks of cigarettes and am thinking of asking the manager discreetly whether he can have any of the others as key workers instead.

What do you think?

Sorry but I think YABU. When living in London I think I (and the children for that matter)probably came in stinking of car/tube fumes more than anything. I know for a fact that no nursery in the last 10 years would allow smoking on the grounds of the nursery itself and personally I feel that for an employer to dictate what an employee does out of working hours and premises is none of their business (unless it is of an illegal nature ). It is one step away from big brother is watching you material! So does your boss demand to know what you have been doing, where you have been and who you have been with in the previous 12 hours before arriving at work?!

i'd be very interested to know what % of the YABUers are smokers.

I was but now a non smoker but its the dictating that I depise

It all just seems to be getting a little out of hand, the smoking thing...... In my opinion YABU.
You could go on thinking about the people in the factories who box up baby products etc., they might be chain smokers who are touching and packing all these baby products....surely you wouldn't like that either?
What about sitting next to a smoker on a bus or train?
Personally i don't eat meat but i would still let a meat eater hold my baby....even though they stink......

so you do spend your money in stinky restaurant? and tip a waiter with smelly pits who has ruined your meal? that's really kinda the source of my objection, the honk.

Agree with Aitch. When I pick up my DS from our lovely CM he smells of his surroundings, which luckily for me is a fine and natural smell.
I'd be horrified if my baby came back honking of second hand cigarette smoke, which it would do if cuddled by someone who smokes.

Oh and as an ex-smoker, I hate sitting next to someone who smokes. The guys in my team smoke, probably the stress of working for me and the smell when they come back from a fag break is utterly disgusting.

yes, it does stink. I would not hire a smoking aupair, even if she did not smoke near the house. I would not use a nursery who employed smoking carers. Tough.

i'm an ex-smoker too, rookie. i am always shocked by the smell now, i never realised for a second that i smelled that revolting. it's not just fag smoke, i actually still quite like that, it's fag smoke and body and clothes... absolutely vile.

I wouldn't want my child held close and breathing in the smell of smoke, and I am amazed nursery staff are allowed to smoke in view of parents and childred as they arrive. The nursery should insist on no smoking at work and no smoking in uniform. What they do in evenings and on weekends is their business.

Childred? I mean children I think.

YANBU Smokers stink even when they havent had a ciggie for a while. I dont think they realise how much it lingers esp on their breath and it cant be good for a baby to have to breathe this in.

So right Aitch, I didn't realise what I smelt like until my XSiL bought a bag of clothes round for DD, and it stunk of stale fag smoke ewwwww.

I buy some children's clothes off eBay. Many sellers make it a point to state that they are a non-smoking household.

I'm also an ex smoker - and I don't think the OP is unreasonable at all.

The woman will bloody stink, her clothes, hair and skin will smell and she will be breathing stinking fag breath all over the children in her care.

And I think it's hardly likely that the morning fag is the last of her working day.

Thanks very much for all the opinions - a very interesting broader debate in here.

YANBU - I am an ex heavy smoker and don't think you are being precious at all

YANBU - would not tolerate it.

If it were a new-born or asthmatic baby then I would back you to the hilt, but I think you are overstepping here.

I used to smoke, I hate smoke, and the smell makes me gag. But there are more inportant things in life, and having your children cared for by consistent, loving carers is a shedload more important than if those carers smoke.

I would personally be far more concerned as to why this manager lets her smoke outside the building. That suggests bigger problems than your keyworker herself. I would be horrified if this were to happen at my DD''s nursery. I know some of them smoke, but I also know they would probably be fired on the spot if the owner caught them smoking in front of parents or in sight of the children.

YANBU. I wouldnt let someone who smokes look after my ds all day. I have a friend who smokes and although she only has a couple in the morning and then again at night if she comes round to mine in the middle of the day (she always makes a big deal of washing her hands) even after cuddling ds for 20 mins when she gives him back he stinks of smoke. Dont know what you can do about it though as in fairness the manager of nursery cant tell the staff not to smoke.

To those who say that they would object to carers smoking in front of children (not around, just within sight of), do you also think no adult should be allowed to smoke anywhere in public (eg. on the pavement, in a park) just in case a child may be within a 50 yard radius?

have you ever been on public transport and looked out of the bus window and seen a smoker finishing a fag? my heart sinks when they sit next to me

the fecking stink to high bloody heaven and it makes me heave

YANBU

dh is banned to the gardnen when he has his fag of the evening, minging habit and I tell him this often (ex smoker here, the worst kind!)

you can want but might not necessariliy get. in many nurseries it is hard to recruit and retain staff. but i see what irks about it

What I care about is that when my kids see a person who they trust smoking, it might then seem 'ok' in their heads. And I also care when a nursery manager lets her staff smoke in front of the children for the same reason. Strangers in the street I don't give a flying hoot about - I can just laugh it off with the kids about how silly they are. I can't do that with a keyworker.

But I strongly feel that being a smoker should have no bearing on whether a person is a nanny or a keyworker. My own nanny smokes and I would much rather she didn't, but as long as she doesn't do it in front of the children (which can be quite convoluted when she comes on holiday with us), then it is none of my business. And one day my son is going to ask her why she smells so bad and maybe that will help her kick the habit.

I think that you are being perfectly reasonable. My SIL smokes and I absolutely hate it when she holds our daughter because she is returned to me smelling of stale smoke. SIL does not smoke in my house so no issue there but for something so lovely to stink of smoke is not acceptable to me.