It’s a long story and too much to write out so
i will try and keep it short. Met ex dp age 32. He was 38. Both wanted dc. He had a lot of anxiety around job security despite earning a lot (ie more in a year than most people earn in five). I also had a good job with similar income and security. He kept saying if you were suddenly pregnant I would be so happy. I became lax with contraception one weekend we went away and I forgot my pill packet. Pregnant a few weeks later (not sure if from
that weekend) and he initially said he was as very happy, then around five months in became
awful to be around as his contract expired at work and he was relocated further afield. He was angry about having to move and didn’t come to the five months scan, barely spoke to me. It was horrendous.
After initially refusing due to his behaviour while I was pregnant, I later said let’s draw a line under things and I would move with him to his new work location. He didn’t respond to me, in fact didn’t speak to me until our son was 8 months old.
Three years later ds has a great relationship with ex DP and ex went above and beyond to show me he was sorry. We had a lot of happy times, lovely holidays, birthdays, weekends always together etc. We were still living apart. He then suggested we all move to where he was based, four hours away, so he didn’t have to travel at weekends and so he could help with looking after ds properly in the week and we could be a family together in one place. But work remotely so no impact there. I agreed to this and we said we would ttc a second last year.
The whole year passed and ex did nothing to sort any arrangements for us to move. The room that was for ds was still full of clutter by November and when I said we had agreed to ttc by the end of the year he said he couldn’t do that as there was ‘no stable base’ for a new child. I said that’s because you’ve done nothing to sort that out so we can move in. He said I was minimising the importance of doing things properly and mocked me for apparently ‘rushing in with no thought.’ There was lots of thought, I’d sorted all items for DS’s room in his place, I’d talked endlessly with him about storage ideas and looked up schools and organised tours of schools for ds. I said I couldn’t do the relationship anymore and he has since blamed me for that despite not having made any effort since to make up or fix things or say he’s sorted Ds’ room and he’s sorry for not having done so all last year.
I am right in never trying to go back there aren’t I?