To think my dd will be assessed as autistic

[Auroraspyjamas]

Just filled in the form for my 5 year old DD for an ASD assessment and am after opinions from other parents who have been through the process on if she’s likely to get a diagnosis or may not meet the threshold and what your experience was,

She has sensory sensitivities eg trouble with labels, seams, has to wear special socks etc. And is sensory seeking, chews on clothes etc.

Can misread social cues and stand too close, either ignore people talking to her or not realise they are not liking something. Heavy handed.

If she doesn’t want to do something she often ignores the request from us and teachers.

Can talk in a typical way but also talks a lot in catchphrases from tv and films, repetitive questions etc.

Big meltdowns, struggles with frustration.

But she seems to enjoy imagination play, has lots of friends, bright and no academic delays.

School supports the assessment and has noticed some things, others are seen more at home.

What is people’s experience? Is a kid like this likely to be diagnosed or be seen as not problematic enough? Did you suspect ASD and then were told your kid didn’t meet the threshold? And if so what was absent? Just want to know what to expect.

My DS, 5, was diagnosed autistic last year. The consultant spoke through the diagnostic criteria with me, a lot of your DDs traits are what he also experiences. However, difficulties in social communication needed to be persistent and the last part of the diagnosis included 'and this is having a significant functional impairment' which it was for my DS. He required additional support in nursery and now has an EHCP at school. He can't clearly communicate his needs and he can't have back and forth conversations.
A lot of what you say does sound like Autism but if she has lots of friends and does well academically do you think she meets the significant impairment part or persistent difficulty in social communication?

She sounds very similar to my 5 year old dd, we’re just starting the diagnosis process too. My dd is social, has friends, very intelligent and is doing well at school academically. She has sensory issues, trouble concentrating and getting distracted, melt downs including physically hurting us, issues with loud places, sleep and toileting issues. I have ADHD and ASD so she has family history and both we and the school think it’s likely she’ll be diagnosed.

My eldest is autistic and was diagnosed quite late. I think partly because some of his behaviour contradicted typical autistic traits, in primary school he had a lot of friends and no trouble at all socialising. The older he gets the harder it gets for him, he finds socialising extremely difficult now but can do it if he has to although it stresses him out. When we had the assessment it was explained that not every box needs to be ticked for the diagnosis and some people have more traits than others and this is why it’s a spectrum.

The fact that the school supports is helpful. I knew my DD was autistic from when she was very small. However I didn't seek an assessment until she was older because from a very young age she masked successfully at school so they didn't see much other than her being very quiet. She was very academic and did take part in imaginative play.

From the age of about 9 she started having many more obvious social difficulties at school so they got on board and she was assessed and diagnosed shortly after starting secondary school. Her difficulties have become much more obvious in this setting and as she approaches puberty so if your DD is not diagnosed while she is younger, continue to observe and you could have her reassessed when she is older. Autism is often not recognised in girls and women until they are older, although I think clinicians are getting better at recognising the signs.

re social communication difficulties she’s quite rigid and dominating in play and misses some social cues. I’ve seen friends approach her and she totally blanks them for eg. Also sometimes hugging others when they are clearly not keen. But she’s clearly keen on making friends and other kids do like her. I suppose my thought process is, this goes down ok now when she’s little but may cause more issues as she gets older. Equally school say she often refuses to finish up what she’s doing and do the next thing which isn’t impacting academics in reception which is fairly play based but might well in year 1. But not sure if assessors look at it in that forward facing way…

Sorry this is in response to @JLou08

My son was diagnosed as autistic older than your daughter though was reception when it became evident something was going on. Me can have conversations and has always had friends but misses social cues so I wouldn’t say being able to have a conversation and having friends doesn’t mean she won’t be diagnosed.

I have a friend who's DD went through the assessment at 4 and wasn't diagnosed, she's back now at 10 having another assessment. I don't know what the outcome will be but she is struggling a lot more with social interaction and sensory processing now.
Based on what you've written, I think she is autistic but I would be prepared for the possibility of them saying she isn't following assessment. It might be hard to evidence that it's causing significant impairment right now but I agree with you that it may do further down the line. It is good that school are supportive, you and the school can use strategies used for autistic children with or without a diagnosis.

How are his friendships now he’s a bit older if you don’t mind me asking?

heavy handedness (physically) is often a sign of ADHD, as is not listening to instructions and getting in personal space.
the sensory issues do sound more like autism.
but just wanted to add my experience into the mix. I know a few children who have been diagnosed with one ND and then years later re-diagnosed with another. Dual diagnosis often occurs too.

Sounds so similar, really recognise a lot of the things you said

Someone I know didn't have evidence from a young age. Did you notice anything as a baby/toddler?

She had bad colic and sensory sensitivities from a baby - hated the car seat, bath, being changed, face wiped etc. Big meltdowns as a toddler that never really went away. Troubles with sleep. Don’t remember any delays though.

I do think adhd is very possible as well but the waiting list is 4 years in my area! Asd is 2.

The other test is the hereditary test…do you or your husband show signs of either one … both autism and ADHD are highly hereditary

My dad is asd and brother adhd. I had extra time at school in exams for issues with working memory and executive dysfunction problems but nobody ever said adhd. I do wonder if I was assessed now if I might qualify and if the reason I was given a vaguer diagnosis was because girls were under diagnosed at the time, but that’s all very speculative and I’m no expert.