Another plane one!

[Imale]

Just wondering what the opinion is here. Not a biggie but thought I'd throw it out here as I'm curious...hopefully won't be as controversial as a reclining thread 😅

We're flying as family (me, dh, 2 teen dc). 3 hour flight. Seats selected, check in online day before, digital boarding passes sent, all good. Booked 3 in a row and one aisle seat across the aisle in same row.

Get to airport (and we are there in good time - 3 hours before), go to desk to check in luggage and the agent hands us printed boarding passes. No mention of any seat change. My fault here that I didn't check the seats on new bps, but I didn't think of it as we'd already checked in online and had preselected seats ages ago.

So go to board plane and I look at seats on boarding passes and I realise they're not the seats we booked. We now have window and middle one behind the other. I'm pretty pissed off as I always book aisle due to a knee issue and needing to stretch my leg out. But cabin crew tell me its a full flight and nothing they can do.

So people come and sit in the 2 aisle seats and we realise they are a couple! We explain what happened and ask if they'd like to swap and sit together and they say no, they intentionally booked 2 aisle seats. So admittedly at this point we're not exactly delighted with our neighbours but their perogative.

Anyway, I have window, dh middle and teen dc both in front. The husband who is a big guy sits next to dh. He starts manspreading and also not giving dh the armrest. I always understood plane etiquette was that whoever gets screwed over with the middle seat at least gets the armrests.

So dh tells the guy to close his legs and let him use the armrest. The guy says that dh can't have it all. At which point dh told him that the rule is that the middle seat gets to use the armrest and is this the first time he has flown? Guy does grumpily concede inner armrest to DH for rest of flight.

Was Dh being unreasonable demanding the use of armrests as middle seat person? Especially given that they knew we had somehow been moved and they had intentionally kept both aisle seats?
Isn't that the plane rule? I know i always give the middle seater first dibs on armrest.

That's not a rule. This one is 😂

Honestly the lack of empathy for the poor middle seaters is shocking.
Society has gone to the dogs

You have a very, very odd definition of the word "rule".

You're just pissed off that two strangers didn't move their seats to accommodate you.

So dh tells the guy to close his legs and let him use the armrest.

Did this actually happen? There is no ‘armrest rule’ you loons. How rude of your husband.

Lol, its a thing! Google middle seat rule.
30 years of flying and I have always empathised with the downtrodden middle seater!! Honestly, the cruelty here and lack of compassion. One day you may be flying solo and end up with a middle seat. It can happen to anyone! Society has rule for a reasona

I agree with you, I always give the middle seat the arm rest but I’d have given my husband the window seat and taken the middle seat.

Its a thing. You can Google it. Dh called it a rule, I call it common courtesy.
Either way, we stand up for middle seater rights, today and always.

Did you consider swapping with the poor old middle seater? Also who were you flying with? If additional space is important to you maybe actually book and pay for the extra legroom. Yes, it’s still possible you’ll be moved but unlikely. And check in early online.

I was in the middle seater last week ( with additional legroom) and the man next to me was enormous, probably 6’6-8” tall and broad. I did my civic duty and tucked myself into my space using no armrest at all because he and DH on the other side needed it more. 😇

I needed to stretch my leg out onto dhs side from time to time due to my knee problem. Which is one reason why I'd booked an aisle seat.

But what difference would that have made anyway? Women middle seaters should have the same rights as men!!

Your vast experience flying and still you learn something new OP- to double check the seats at check-in. 🤭
Jokes aside- yes it was rude of the man to spread out and it is common courtesy to try your best to give middle seat as much room as possible because they’re stuck in the middle.
However, I don’t think you have grounds to be annoyed with the people who wouldn’t swap seats with you because they may also have medical grounds for booking the seats they did. There’s usually a good reason behind the seats we choose, unless the airline changes them in which case you can only complain to the airline, not get frustrated with other passengers.

Good on your DH for challenging the manspreading. I'm not sure if I knew the armrest thing was a rule but it's obviously good manners. If you paid extra to choose your seats I would try to claim that back. I also think the seat change should have been pointed out when boarding passes were issued (but you should have checked them as well). Watch out for similar issue on return flight.

What difference would it have made if I'd have swapped? I offered but my dh is a gentleman and didnt want me to have to deal with manspreading and armrest quarrels. We middle-seat as a family!

We checked in online as soon as its opened and we had the seats we'd booked online. They changed it at the airport. We don't need extra legroom, aisle seat is fine, but we couldn't book extra legroom anyway as one of the dc is below 16 and they are by emergency exit.

Plus it was only a 3 hour flight.

Hate to break it to you but Google really isn't the authority on this...

Sure plenty of people think there's a rule (and it's comment and scussion on that will have fed Google output you are finding), but AFAIK such a rule is not codifed in any official documentation...and it's official documentation such as airline operations manuals, as used for example by your caring cabin crew, that actually counts and is enforceable.

I find it so refreshing to hear about manspreading next to another MAN.

Manspreading is infuriating, but it gives too much satisfaction to the terminally offended to pretend it's a way of oppressing women. It's not. It's just rudeness, nothing to do with women.

There’s no middle seat arm rest rule.

I wish there was

i loathe man spreaders I now elbow them back

OP you’re so odd. You can’t call people sitting in their allocated seats selfish for not giving them up for your needs! I also prefer to sit in the aisle seat due to herniated disc and leg nerve impingement but on a recent flight when that wasn’t possible I didn’t even have the cheek to ask aisle seat passengers to shift for my needs.

Also, there is no middle seat rule. Would love to have seen you ask the crew to enforce your made up rule!

No one got annoyed with them. Very mild less than impressed.
However they knew i had knee problems and we had been screwed.over so kinda expected a little more consideration.

And yes I have flown a lot as I fly frequently for work and family reasons. And yep i didn't check the printed bps were the same as our electronic ones....small oversight as the agent didnt mention we'd been moved. Oh well

Anyway, with all this flying, i have always had empathy for the middle seat - poor things - and I have even more if I knew they'd been screwed over! Certainly I wouldn't then manspread!

What on earth is this this rule you’ve made up about arm rests? Good grief. And no, it’s not the first time I’ve flown

What a load of fuss over a 3 hr flight.

They were flying together...but that was their perogative to refuse.

Lol, i don't think even dh thought it was a rule like putting on your seat belt. But definitely up there with other rules lkle not reclining during meals 😀

I bet the cabin crew have soooo much sympathy for middle seaters.

Google it. You're welcome 😊

Yep, there is. I never knew either. But dh was right
Google it or ask chatgpt

I have been flying for over 50 years and never heard of this rule.

I think you sound quite unwell….!

I'd be fairly annoyed with the airline. Write them a letter. They switched you.

And YES, the armrests are for the middle seat user. FGS.

Whatever the etiquette on middle seats / swapping seats - the thing that jumps out at me from your OP is that you weren’t assigned the seats you’d booked / selected when you checked in online. That is peculiar. It means the agent at baggage check in changed the seats you’d pre booked. What airline was it (sorry if I’ve missed this)?

At least it was a short flight!