Family in 45m2 flat with 8m2 bedroom

[Putrid46]

The flat is mainly taken up by a large bathroom, longer hallway but small living room and bedroom which is classed as a single bedroom, only enough for a 3/4 bed.

I own it but moved out as it wasn't suitable for my partner and I. As he doesn't yet drive, it would've been almost 1h30 each way on public transport 5 days a week, and he often works long hours.

I told my family this and they scoffed and said it can't possibly be that long. My Mum has turned down jobs for being too far even though it'd be in a car and 2 or 3 times per week.

They said we should throw things away in order to fit into the flat. I explained we don't have things we want to throw away and some of it is expensive equipment we need for work etc. We'd also like to have a family soon, I know babies stay in the parents bedroom for a while but the flat would be even more cluttered.

We're not asking for a mansion, there's nothing wrong with wanting a larger one bed at the best or a 2 bed, my partner also doesn't want such a long commute and neither would I. I wish I had a supportive family, it's not up to them to dictate where we live and how we live. Am I being greedy here?

It's true it will save him the commute, but I also did it to give us more space, I don't want them to have some sort of issue with him.

They helped me decorate the flat and paid some of the parts like solicitor fees (which I have been paying them back)
They just think it's a shame to sell after 2 years which I do understand

On the face of it yanbu.

but
- How long have you been with your partner?

• Are you going 50/50 on the new rental and paying the mortgage on the flat?
• how much deposit does your partner have?

I think you buying a new place is fine?
But eoneer of your parents are concerned for other reasons.

We are 50/50 on new rental
My flat is now being rented out, my partner paid a lot towards refurbishment

We have a similar deposit for a new place

I couldn't force him to move in
So the options would've been to live separately until we buy together, paying 2 lots of rent/mortgage, and I would've been selling at some point anyway
Or we don't live together

Can you move the rooms around? If the bathroom is huge, shift the bathroom into the small bedroom and make the bathroom the bedroom?

It's an en suite so wouldn't have been easy and sadly didn't have the money to convert it

This is a total non issue. Move into a bigger, more convenient place that you can afford. Your parents are offering another view but you don't have to listen.

Is it a new relationship? Your family might just be concerned you are rushing things.

If you only bought two years ago, how long have you been in a relationship?
Could they be worried you are giving up your independence too quickly?

If you sell and both have the same deposit to buy bigger I see now issue with this. Make sure it's in joint names and you are protected especially if having children.

How long have you been together?

We live in a European city where most families live in a flats. I do know a couple of families who have started out in apartments that size, most look for a 2 bed once their baby is a toddler so they can have their own room. We have a two bed with two DC, we’ve bought furniture to maximise the space and really think about what we buy to avoid clutter. It is doable but it doesn’t sound like it’s what you want though.

Yeah possibly, I just resent how they're criticising him for not wanting to do the 1h30 commute each way but my Mum wouldn't even do it twice a week. And saying we should 'just get rid of stuff' to squeeze in.

Together nearly 2 years. I bought the flat before I met him.

We have a pet as well, a pet and a baby and us all in a 1 bed flat with a single bedroom is a lot.

What you have a baby???

Jesus lead with that!!!!!

sell the flat and don't entertain any more chat from your parents.

What father wants a 3 hr commute ewith a newborn

Ok, well, everytime this sort of thread comes up, I state the obvious: if you have to make it work, you can. Do you have to? If you can afford somewhere else, why wouldn't you make your life better by moving? Everyone always has an opinion on everything; just ignore your family and do what is best for you and your partner.

Sorry we don't yet but would like to in the near future, as we're 35 now.

The plan seems badly thought through. Why did you not just sell the flat and then move in with your partner? What’s the huge rush?

I can understand your family concerns as you are selling very quickly after purchasing. I don’t know where you live but the flats market in many areas of the country is dead, landlords are selling up in large numbers which is flooding the market and there is still a residual holdover from Covid days when people realised how difficult it was not to have any outside space so anything without a garden or balcony is even more difficult to sell.

as a landlord now, I hope you are aware of and fulfilling all your responsibilities – that the flat has electrical and gas certificates, that the deposit is protected properly in a scheme, that you are paying tax on the income, etc. There is so much regulation and expense now that I doubt you are going to make any money on renting your flat and it makes it less attractive to sell with a tenant in situ.

It doesn’t sound like your family have anything against your partner particularly but are just concerned that you are making rushed decisions with big financial implications.

Op you know you're not unreasonable, they're just getting into your head. You're paying for your new home so it's nothing to do with being greedy. You aren't expecting someone to give you a larger home so it's up to you what you buy. Of course a small one bed isn't suitable for a growing family.

If you can afford to get a mortgage and keep your flat as a buy to let i would, but otherwise sell it and crack on finding your new home, getting married and having babies. In the meanwhile, learn to filter out the noise of people determined to keep you pinned down into their expectations

I lived in studio flats with my ex for 3 years, with everything in 1 room, we managed but that was mainly as we worked very different hours so we were barely in at the time time. I do understand my parent's concerns but naturally when they question my partner's choices I feel defensive.

I can see where they are coming from. They helped you out financially. And now you are selling after only 2 years and now a not very great housing market especially for flats. Their money was more or less wasted.

The money has been paid back to them.
If I can't sell for a good price, I won't sell.
You shouldn't make random assumptions you have no idea about.

I knew I'd have 'experts' piling on to tell me that I'll make 0 because they know exactly what the market is like for every area in the country and every property.

Op, I think it would have been best to leave out your family’s opinion in this post, and the answers would have been more helpful to you. MN posters have typically grabbed onto your family’s interference, and the focus is on that rather than giving you helpful answers about your living arrangements. I think living in that situation is doable if you declutter and make sure you stay on top of tidying stuff away, but the question is, do you want to live that way of constantly being on top of stuff if you have other options available to you? I guess it might be a stressful way to live, so I’d be inclined to be on your side with this.

I answered from the information you gave. You said they helped you financially.