DD staying with her Dads ex.

[OneBrickFox]

I have NC’d for this and I have family/friends who use here. I am also going to have to be vague with some details as this is potentially outing.

DD1 is late junior school age. Quite mature for her age, very opinionated and quite stubborn. DD2 is early infants school age. Both are complete daddy’s girls which I will admit sometimes leaves me feeling inferior. I also have an adult daughter from a previous marriage as do their dad who are the same age and are in the same friendship circle.

Me and their dad split up just over 2 years ago now. We share custody 50:50- he has them 4 days, I have them 4 days. We are both flexible with changing days if there are work commitments, we are travelling family visiting etc.

Ex got into a relationship quite quickly. My oldest daughter formed a close bond with her. They split up about 3 months ago and last I heard there had been no contact.

I’ve had a call from my eldest daughter who is out at a party, to say she has bumped into my exes daughter who has told her my DD is staying with his ex tonight and was last night. Apparently they frequently FaceTime and this isn’t the only time she has stayed with her

Obviously I am annoyed with my ex- that goes without saying. But AIBU to think it’s weird this woman has such a close relationship with my daughter?

I don't know, I can understand being a bit jelaous of their relationship but I don't see that it is weird. If they spent a lot of time together and were close I'd probably think of it as more like an aunt/neice type relationship.
Dad is responsible for her on his days and presumably knows where she is and gives permission. If she's what you'd consider a safe adult I think I'd be glad of an extra postivie role model looking out for her.

I think it’s to be encouraged. How long was she a part of your DD’s life? I always think it’s just awful when parents split up with a step parent and the child never sees that person again. The child must feel that the adult they had a close relationship with never really cared about them and that must really affect their sense of themselves going forward.

How long were they together? Why would you know if they had contact or not? Was she kind to your children? Did they live together?

It’s not weird at all. My DP is much closer to his ex-stepdad that was only with his mum for three years when he was a teen (and never married) than he is to his biological dad. He sees him most weekends.

I don’t think it’s weird, especially bearing in mind the 50:50 custody arrangements so they spent a lot of time together. Just because your ex’s relationship broke down it doesn’t mean your DD’s relationship with his ex also broke down.