What normal things did you not have or not have in your house growing up?

[Fairypowder13]

We ran out of kitchen roll today and it got me thinking, growing up we never had kitchen roll in the house. I can remember visiting people who did and thinking that it was quite posh.

I grew up in a very poor home and we were always warm, clean, clothed and fed, but also lacking so many basic things. My parents always had money for cigarettes and alcohol though 🙄

I can remember having to have my hair washed with washing up liquid at times, I had very long hair and my mum never bought conditioner so you can imagine how knotty my hair would be. I did eventually get access to hair conditioner after begging my mum after I’d seen it advertised.

No cushions on the sofas.

No family holidays or day trips. Didn’t see the sea until I was 16.

No fabric softener for washing.

Never had a bed or mattress of my own, had one that was given to us until I was old enough to buy my own, it was all broken in the end but it didn’t occur to my parents to buy one.

No birthday cake or celebration, we’d get one small cheap present but nothing beyond that.

No stocking for Christmas. We’d put out one of our socks.

No winter coat, I had to wait to be given one by my older cousin.

Me reading this thread realising I grew up not knowing I was born.

The only thing I never had was McDonald's, and when we lived in America, twinkies. Tbf my mum had a point with those ones.

They have never been full of static. I try not to buy too many acrylic fabrics, I don't know if that's a factor. But have a few bits and never had static with a wash. Just use an eco washing powder.

I had /have parents that prioritised their own needs and wants, I'm a similar age to you OP.
We had things like microwaves, kettles and a landline but my mother never paid the bills so the phone or TV never actually worked. If something broke, like the kettle, it would be months before we got a new one. My mum and stepdad spent any money as soon as it landed in their accounts, on things that they wanted, for this reason I went without clothes, toiletries, birthdays, days out or even being able to go out with friends. I got a well paid, regular babysitting job at 14 and have funded myself since.

My dad wasn't even really involved choosing his new wife and her family when I was about 13.

If you try and speak to my mum about it now she denies all knowledge but noticeably still doesn't ever actually support me with anything, or send me or my children so much as a birthday card.

Another one here whose mum had very fine hair and refused to buy conditioner to my extremely thick, frizzy, curly hair, according to her it would ‘make it greasy’. Except my parents weren’t poor, my mum was a housewife by choice, and I remember being embarrassed to bring friends home because we had threadbare carpets and a manky dated house, but a hi-fi system that cost over £1,000 in the early 90s, because they spent all their money on things for themselves and made us kids wear charity shop clothes, which in the 80s was like a beacon to the bullies. I think if they had been poor I wouldn’t look back and feel so sad about growing up without lots of things other kids had, but somehow knowing they could afford things but chose not too makes it worse.

Those who have pointed it out I am aware that my childhood was neglectful in some ways.

I don’t think that it was ever deliberate, my dad had severe and poorly treated bipolar, it was called manic depression in those days. Both my parents were utterly miserable most of the time, I think my mum would have left if she’d felt she could.

My mum was very loving and we always had clean clothes, hot home cooked meals, she was always at every school play, every parents evening but unfortunately they lived day to day not even week to week. They never planned ahead for anything like stuff breaking, or days out or holidays.

We always had a good Christmas but it would be a last minute dash, uniforms were always bought the last day or two before going back to school.

Funny seeing the rubber shower hose on the bath mentioned several times. My parents both passed away last year and they never got rid of it!
They still used it and never ever had a proper shower put in.

I was born mid 80s so grew up in the late 80s/90s and along with the shower hose we did not have central heating upstairs. I always remember being so cold at night during the winter and when getting up in the mornings.

We never had takeaways, we never had ‘foreign’ or ‘spicy’ food. It was always a meat and potatoes dinner. Only veg was peas and I can’t stand them! Even pasta was seen as ‘foreign’.

We only had fizzy drinks at Christmas or if we were taken to a pub - where we would be left in the garden with a panda pop and a packet of crisps and it was called a day out.

Never went abroad, only a caravan holiday once every couple of years.
Felt like we never had new clothes. Always hand me downs from my cousins or jumpers my nan knitted.

Never went to a hairdressers. My mum always cut my hair (badly) at home. Never got taken to a dentist.

However we did have kitchen roll!

I haven't RTFT, so apologies if this has already been posted, but...

I rarely have kitchen roll or fabric conditioner in my house. Good god I hope my kids don’t grow up and claim neglect 😂

You could be writing about my childhood, mine was exactly the same as yours - almost word for word.

Pyjamas/nightdresses, proper bedding, and bedtime stories was my thing. I had never had these things and I used to see them in tv shows and films and presumed it was a thing that rich families did. Also I hated school holidays as we never had lunch. Christmas was very spartan. Some years we had no tree or gifts. But as in the OP always money for fags and nights out.

I'm 70, so a lot of things that are commonplace now simply didn't exist in my childhood!

We didn't have a bathroom or an indoor toilet though, which was unusual. Heating was coal fires, and we had this boiler thing that heated water, there was no hot water supply to the kitchen tap. Moving to a council flat with a bathroom and indoor toilet was a revelation!

We didn't have a fridge until I was nearly 10, my DM used to stand the milk etc in a bowl of cold water in the larder. They finally bought a fridge with the money from my DM's maternity grant when she was expecting my DB. We didn't have a tv until Christmas 1965, when my aunt got a new one so she could get BBC2, and gave us her old one. The first thing I remember watching on tv was Winston Churchill's state funeral early in 1965 .

My DM managed without a washing machine until 1970, when I was 15. My father was made redundant, but got a new job almost straight away and they bought the washing machine with some of his redundancy money. That was also when we got a phone line put in, partly because DF's new job was in Germany, and they might need to contact one another in an emergency.

They never had a car until much later. My DF and I were learning to drive at the same time, and he passed his test about 2 weeks before I passed mine in 1974.

Another not-very-fond childhood memory is the truly awful bread & butter which was compulsory at every meal.

The problem was (and I didn't know this until years later) that at the time, fresh bread was believed to be indigestible. Because of that, a loaf was never eaten on the day it was bought. It had to wait until all the older bread had been used up, so by the time it got to the head of the queue it was old itself. I didn't actually taste fresh bread until I was about 12, and that was at a friend's house.

But it turned out that it wasn't just me. A friend from university told a very similar story. She said that for as long as she could remember, their weekend routine was:

Saturday morning: food shopping for the weekend, including bread
Saturday teatime: cold table, including bread & butter
Sunday lunch: traditional roast meal
Sunday teatime: toast

My friend and her sister were both well into their teens before they managed to persuade their mother to let them have the fresh bread at teatime on Saturday, and use older bread for the toast on Sunday.

We were never allowed McDonalds. Used to walk past it often but we were never allowed to go in.

On a stressful trip to a shopping centre, we eventually wore my Mum down and she gave in and said we could have a McDonalds. However, we were not allowed to eat in, just in case someone saw us in there (still don't understand why this is a problem!).

She bought the meals and then we had to walk back to the car. She didn't want the car smelling of burgers, so she put the food in the car boot and we drove 25 minutes home.

By the time we got in, set the table (I know!) and she took the food out of the packaging, it was stone cold. She took one chip, ate it and said it was vile, we were not eating "that rubbish" and she binned the lot in front of us!

We were still not allowed McDonalds as she'd proven it was a waste of money as the food is cold and inedible.

I'm in my 40's now with children of my own and I still get told off by my Mum when we say we've been to McDonalds 😂

50s child here. Growing up my parents house never had -

A fire anywhere other than the living room

Dad worked for a company that supplied electrical goods. Washing machines were ones that had been traded in for newer models.

The electric cooker was rented from the council

Had never heard of kitchen paper

At one time Mum and I had to share a pair of shoes that were for going out in. As we didn't go out much didn't really matter

We never, ever went out to eat. May have occasionally had fish and chips at the seaside

No transport apart from bikes until I was about 12

They didn't have a phone until I got married and moved out in the early 70s

I could go on. But, at the time it was all completely normal because everyone we knew was the same. We were never hungry or lacking in love though. (Cold sometimes, definitely!)

In my 90s childhood, stuff I think was fairly normal? that I didn't have:
Central heating, double glazing, a shower
A new mattress - I had a second hand one which was ancient and saggy and springy. Didn't realise how much this matters until I got a new one when I was 20!
Enough uniform. I had two school shirts to last two school years. I feel weirdly ashamed about that one! Especially in my teens, looking back I can't be sure I didn't smell a bit...
Curtains

There might be other stuff but that's the ones that come to mind. I get the central heating etc as that costs lots to install but tbh the uniform and curtains are weird.

I still use old clothes and towels as rags/floor cleaners etc. I think it's called "repurposing/recycling" nowadays? Just following what my Grandma did.

We also used to use baking sheets to warm the bed, had a solid fuel oven so they were whipped out for 15 minutes before bed and then you hot (really cold) footed it from the bathroom to bed whilst shedding several layers of clothes and blankets.

No heating, microwave, tumble dryer etc. my grand parents also had no running water or electricity and cooked all year round on an open fire, I think they got a gas cooker eventually. Times were grim to be honest, I'm 51 so not that long ago

I had much less than my peers (who weren't hugely well off but both their parents worked). My DM refused to work, smoked, drank like a fish and spent money like water but not on things we could have had like a car, holidays, treats, a VCR, central heating.

I always felt less than and it's unforgivable.

I grew up in the 90s and my life was basic and so were my friends lives. Food was ok but I fondly remember my friends eating just tinned shaped spaghetti from a tin for tea out in the street. I was so jealous!

Oooohh....is this going to be like the four yorkshiremen...??

Coca-Cola. I used to see them in shops or other kids' houses or whatever and imagined the cans marked 'Coke' contained however many lumps of coke that would fit in. We did have the Corona van round, and very occasionally a bottle would be bought by an auntie, or, more rarely, enough empties collected to afford one. Otherwise it was just orange squash.

No telephone.

55 years old. Child in the 70’s teenager in the 80’s.
No car, parents never learnt to drive.
No washing machine, laundrette once a week.
no telephone until I left home at 19 years old.
No holidays.
No mop and bucket, floor cleaned with a cloth on hands and knees.
No ironing board, clothes ironed on a towel on the floor.
No electric kettle until I bought one age 16.
No fridge freezer.
No toaster.
No shower.
No heating except an electric fire in living room.
Everything in my house, furniture, pots and pans, crockery and cutlery were hand me downs given to us by friend and extended family.

Ugh, sorry this happened to you too.

My FIL still doesn't believe in painkillers. He genuinely thinks it's mind over matter, that you can just think your way out of pain and painkillers are a pharmaceutical industry con job 🤔

The medication he takes for diabetes, high blood pressure and gut trouble is obviously an entirely different story.

It was harder for some. A lot of those things were available if you could afford it. We had central heating installed in about 1955, but in a big draughty Victorian house with single-glazed sash windows, it just took the edge off, and we still had an open fire in the living room in cold weather.
As for hair conditioner, my hair was washed with bar soap in the bath, then rinsed with clean water from a jug. For extra shine, on special occasions, my mother mixed egg yolk and water and rubbed it through my hair, then rinsed with cool water (hot makes it scrambled!).