to go to bed early...

[Imisscoffee2021]

This is lighthearted but it's something I've noticed on my side and my husbands side with regards visiting parents.

My parents get offended if I go to bed early when visiting, but they are completely married to their tv habits of an evening and also are in denial about their hearing not being as it was so the TV is blasting. If I ask them to turn the volume down a touch I'm met with with annoyed barked retorts, so I gave up ages ago.

It's always a crime drama on (same at in laws) that they MUST watch, and no-one is allowed to speak (except my mum, who can talk anytime she wants to tell a character not to do something or decides she knows whodunit but who then shushes me if I reply). A crime drama invariably half way through so I can't have any investment in, can't ask any questions to bring myself up to speed for fear of the vehement shushing, and wincing at the volume level of a jumbo jet engine.

Then when I give in and just go to bed I get wounded looks and expressions of oh don't you want to spend time with us!?

Edited to add this is from 7pm til my mum goes to bed very late on.

Anyone else or just me? 😅

Subtitles?

They have them on, on everything! But it's still extremely loud.

I have this with in-laws... if it was crime dramas I'd be happy. It's the news! Always. Very loud. On repeat. And then after a few hours noticing something that has been repeated 3 times. I take my phone and abook and ear pods- not to listen to anything else just to dull the noise!

I say to mine "I want to spend time with you, not with the television". When it's the News blasting, once it has completed its cycle I respond to the "But it's the News! Don't you want to know what's going on in the world?" with a blunt "No." Followed up with "I've seen it. Nothing has changed in the last half hour." No subtelty, compromise or politeness made any difference. After several weeks of bluntness, they now turn the volume down when I arrive, and sometimes even switch the TV off entirely.

Ha! Exactly the same! Apart from it’s the news or something such as coronation street! I actually hate going to my family or in laws houses as they will literally just sit in the living room watching tv. Minimal conversation and what feels like very little effort to play/interact with grandchildren other than ‘watching them play’ for a bit 🙄. And absolutely yes to the same disgruntled looks/comments about going to bed early and not ‘spending time with them’. I seem to recall this from my childhood and teenage years too though, so shouldn’t be surprised! 🤷‍♀️

My dad - just like his mother before him - has the TV on at a decibel level that would give a jumbo jet taking off a good run for its money. He goes to bed at about 7pm however. That said, if people dare to talk at a normal decibel level or even - shock horror - laugh out loud after 7:01pm then we get told to be quiet! Just as well I love the silly old sod!

Ha I hear you. I can hear my parents telly from halfway down the path!!!

My mum literally uses headphones now to block the sound out - I did point that dad should be doing that and he used to in their old house, but his headphones got lost in the move, so now he has free rein to blast out Last of the Sodding Summer Wine reruns at levels that would make a nuclear test zone sound tame!

Got horrible flashbacks to my childhood reading your post!!! Haha! Was always told I was being "anti social" by reading and I should be watching TV with the family. (Yes, I did fancy myself like Matilda Wormwood at times). Anyway, I'm well into adulthood now, and I do whatever I like in the evenings. Usually DH is on his computer downstairs, DS is gaming with his mates upstairs, and I'm on the sofa reading. We all go to bed at different times and often we all eat at different times. We spend plenty of time together, but it's not forced. I absolutely love it.

Mine blast the news on a constant sky news cycle of doom. I just go to bed with my children !

I hear you and raise you CNN constantly being blasted at ear shattering level!

no-one is allowed to speak (except my mum, who can talk anytime she wants to tell a character not to do something or decides she knows whodunit but who then shushes me if I reply).

😂

Oh yes this sounds incredibly familiar 😂😂😂

In the last year of my Father’s life I would just simply read a book and zone out the television. I do have nice memories of being with him, but it was very trying at the time.

Why don’t you just say this to them instead of posting it here?

My mum does this, which is already annoying enough, but on the very rare occasions DP and I want to watch something in our own home, she gets out her phone and scrolls through a million Reels on Facebook with the sound on.

Are you my sister as this sounds like my parents! 😆 If they also specifically comment on a particular character detail linked to their former career in. Every. Single. Show. then you definitely are! (E.g commenting on a character’s shoes as they used to run a shoe shop)

This is sooo my parents!
Also with the heating on full, and ALL the lights on (which reflect of the tasteful blinds).
Dealing with sensory overload in enforced silence.
Just how you want to spend you time!

This is my parents tv every night when we are not major tv people and the volume up so crazing loud, I find it completely sensory overload and can’t be in the same room. Then my Mum would go off to bed and go to sleep with the tv on also ridiculously loud which would then wake my young child. We stopped staying with them!