Tom Howley or alternative

[Whichkitchendilemma]

I have saved for my dream kitchen to replace my old annoying kitchen so am going for one with all the bells and whistles I want, and the budget is slightly out of control. I have had a quote for a Caledonia kitchen and Tom Howley have matched the headline price. (As you can imagine it is not cheap!) However Caledonia have been faster and more proactive, can fit sooner and I have seen a fitted kitchen in real life which was lovely. They are able to do a few extras that TH won’t and appear more flexible. They also offer more of a turnkey service whilst with TH I will have to do more to get finished kitchen that I want. With TH I won’t quite get what I want although it will be very nice and aTH kitchen and possibly more stressful. I am also worried it won’t wear as well over time and we have teenagers.
I appreciate that some people on MN seem to be able to install a DIY kitchen that is super amazing for under 10k but that is not an option for us. We both work and are rubbish at DIY and my husband would rather rub hot sand in his eyes than help project manage something like this.
AIBU going with Caledonia instead of TH
AINBU going with my gut and not choosing TH

Bumping for traffic just to add this is going to be my first and last kitchen purchase and last a minimum of 15 years and probably outlive me.

I don't see you saying anything positive about the TH kitchen compared to the Caledonia one so I'm confused as to why you are considering it?

They are a bit nicer in feel and it’s a recognised premium brand that everyone drools over so I worry I am making a stupid choice going for Caledonia.

But what everyone else wants isn't the discussion here. This is about what you want. Caledonia seem to be a better match for you, unless I'm missing something? They seem to be able to provide a kitchen that is more akin to what you want.

Friends who spent 70k upwards on a Th kitchen complained about the customer service when things went wrong

Caledonia:
Faster
More proactive
Finish sooner
Extras
Flexibility
Turnkey service

TH:
You have to do more
Not exactly what you want
More stress
Won't wear as well

It looks like a no brainer, but it depends how much you want other people to drool over your kitchen.

Sorry, I know this isn’t what you’re asking, but a local joiner/kitchen fitter will be able to install the DIY kitchens one at a fraction of the price.

Yes I do want a kitchen for people to drool over the amount it’s costing. I am slightly embarrassed by that so at least if it’s a recognised premium brand people won’t go “how much!” And tell me about their magnet kitchen bargain or telling me I have been foolish

I have invested a lot of time with Caledonia deciding what I wanted/needed which has ended up being a bespoke kitchen as really awkward space and I am not taking out walls, windows etc. I didn’t think I could afford TH but with final pricing realised I was in that price bracket. I wasn’t really expecting them to match but they did.

I don’t know about really which wears better. I have looked at MM threads and they seem to suggest TH isn’t that robust but otoh they are the ultimate kitchen every one aspires to so if I can afford it why do for alternative just because it’ll be a bit longer to install.

so now I am wondering whether I am just too invested with Caledonia because TH is better quality in showroom.

I don’t have the skills-I had a go on the planner and couldn’t work out how to put my room layout on it! I will need new fusebox electrics, plumbing moved, gas capping off, underfloor heating, and removal and disposal of all. I don’t know any tradesmen who’ll do mates rates. I tried local joinery service but they were similar price and quality to Caledonia. I am happy to pay for turnkey service as I would like my marriage to survive.Also DIY don’t do the style I want.

Try local companies - my mum runs a bespoke handmade kitchen company in south wales that easily competes with TH etc at a lower price.

If it helps - I haven't heard of TH and genuinely would be 'err, ok' if you showed me your new kitchen and bragged about the brand.

Tbh I hadn’t either until I started researching! But they add value to property apparently. I’ve seen estates agents flag it in their blurb! I am not bothered about hand painted artisan blah blah but I want it to look magazine nice, functional and so internals and feel are very important to me. I’m paralysed at thought of making wrong decision

I don't know if this will help but: whenever I have a big decision to make, I am similar. I overthink, take too long to decide and it feels like a bigger thing than it really is. And then I just go 'what the hell' and pick one - and it has always turned out absolutely fine. And I'm pretty sure that a different decision would also have turned out fine too.

Honestly, based on everything you have said, I think you know the answer. I think you know which kitchen you want, and the only doubt you have is that it won't be seen as fancy enough. But the only thing that really matters is how it will work day to day, for you. And you know which kitchen has everything you need.