Sleepover dilemma

[Startrekobsessed]

My sons best friends parents won’t allow sleepover's at someone else’s house until their son is 15 (fair enough). They are fine for children to come to theirs though.

They have invited my son to a sleepover (directly to him not through me which I dislike in the first instance) and I’ve said no. I don’t like this concept that they think we aren’t safe but they automatically are. I also find their parenting style quite uncomfortable and hands on, always tickling the children and chasing them around the playground. I know they mean nothing by it but I’m not a fan.

we have had other kids over for a sleepover and my son has gone to other friends houses, they are 9. My son has asked why he can’t go and I’ve made up a crappy excuse but need to address this properly.

AIBU not letting him go? And how do I explain this to him?

I actually would have a massive problem with a family allowing hosted sleepovers but not sending their kids to one. It would make me uncomfortable and I have no idea how I’d explain this to my kids. So I’d just be honest with the parents and say it’s an odd line to draw so how about a not sleepover and pick your son up at 9/10 or whatever time makes sense. Plenty of kids don’t enjoy sleepovers but a blanket ban and insistence on hosting would sit oddly with me.

Thanks for all your replies and opinions- a real mix! I suppose I am a bit offended that as they have been best mates since reception that we aren’t trusted but there is an automatic assumption that they must be. I am also annoyed she asked through my son rather than me directly.

to the PP that asked yes they tickle other people’s children. They will (both mum and dad) chase them round the park and tickle them. It shouldn’t weird me out but it does. I think for this reason I need to say no.

thank you all for your helpful responses, and I’m so sorry to hear of the abuse some of you suffered as children.

I am also annoyed she asked through my son rather than me directly.

This would be reason enough as to why I'd say no.

I wouldn't care how long they'd been friends, what parent thinks it's acceptable to ask a 9 year old child if they want to sleep over at their house without consulting the child's parents first.