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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Abiu going thru insurance

12 replies

Ohhyes · 19/02/2026 16:15

At weekend myself my DD and DM were in my car stationary and somebody hit us from behind going about 20/30mph it really hurt my DM hit her face off the window and has a large bruise to her face and does have a sore neck me and my DD who is 5 are fine. The man got out but couldn’t speak english so put me on the phone to his “wife” that turned out to be brother in law. My car has a few scratcher to the bumper his bumper had come off they kept telling me they wanted to give me money and not to go through the insurance.
i got home and thought about it and decided I didn’t want to accept money incase something was actually wrong with the car. So I rang my insurance who appointed a solicitor for my DM injuries and my car is going in to be checked by a garage organised by the insurance.
im a childminder and they’ve said they need to replace all my car seats which is great and I just want to make sure my car is safe for children to be in.
However I’m now getting so many phone calls texts WhatsApp’s all sorts even people who follow my childminding page are getting messages asking for my address and all sorts and I’m getting really worried about it.
AIBU going thru insurance as the was no visible major damage should have accepted money
or
YANBU anything could be wrong and that’s what insurance is for
I feel bad but also getting quite annoyed now

OP posts:
Buscobel · 19/02/2026 16:21

You don’t know whether there’s something underneath the car that may have been damaged in the impact. If it was sufficiently hard for your mother to be injured, it’s quite possible that there is more damage than is apparent.

Maybe the man doesn’t have insurance and that’s why you’re being contacted. If you feel intimidated, contact the police and tell them you’re being harassed for doing the right thing.

Original poster
Ohhyes · 19/02/2026 16:23

Buscobel · 19/02/2026 16:21

You don’t know whether there’s something underneath the car that may have been damaged in the impact. If it was sufficiently hard for your mother to be injured, it’s quite possible that there is more damage than is apparent.

Maybe the man doesn’t have insurance and that’s why you’re being contacted. If you feel intimidated, contact the police and tell them you’re being harassed for doing the right thing.

See this is what I’m confused about my insurance company checked and he is insured, I think I’m going to log a complaint with the police as this is ridiculous. And it’s left me feeling like I’m doing the wrong thing

OP posts:
SargeMarge · 19/02/2026 16:24

Contact the police about the harassment. Do it now, before it escalates. And also call your insurer to tell them what is going on.

How did your mum hit her head of the window? Was she wearing a seatbelt? Or do you mean she fell to the side and hit the window of the door?

Silverbirchleaf · 19/02/2026 16:28

Insurance is always the way forward.

stichguru · 19/02/2026 16:30

I am so sorry OP. He's probably pissed that he will lose his no claims bonus when there is probably no damage to your car or car seats. Honestly though tough s* to him. You need to replace the car seats and get the car checked, so he'll just have to be more careful in future!

Ablondiebutagoody · 19/02/2026 16:30

You do whatever you want regarding insurance or not. I was hit by a woman recently who couldn't speak English. She called her husband who arrived in about 5 minutes. I spent the time taking photos of the damage..........plus her face and number plate.

They didn't want to go through insurance. I said fine providing you pay more than the repair is likely to cost. I'm not taking the risk that I misjudge it. They did a bank transfer there and then and I never bothered getting the repair done.

No injuries involved though and I really hate admin.

grumpygrape · 19/02/2026 16:34

Always, always, always go through your insurance. Your insurance company will make sure you are OK.

Contact both your insurance company and the Police regarding the contacts through WhatsApp and don’t respond to the messages.

Bristolandlazy · 19/02/2026 16:38

Cars can be written off and unsafe even if they look fine. This is what insurance is for. You are legally obliged to tell your insurance company about any incidents I believe. He should be embarrassed that he drove into the back of you and caused suffering not causing you more grief. Shame on him.

BollyMolly · 19/02/2026 16:40

You did the right thing. There is no way that this man would be paying up for the necessary new car seats and everything else, so you had no choice really. Both you and your mum should be getting checked out medically. Your mum at least would probably benefit from physio if she has a sore neck.

You should also report any harassment you are getting to the police.

Original poster
Ohhyes · 19/02/2026 16:48

SargeMarge · 19/02/2026 16:24

Contact the police about the harassment. Do it now, before it escalates. And also call your insurer to tell them what is going on.

How did your mum hit her head of the window? Was she wearing a seatbelt? Or do you mean she fell to the side and hit the window of the door?

Edited

Honestly no idea 😂 but she has a right bruise on her cheek bone she definitely was wearing her seatbelt I think she was leaning against it but I all honesty I wasn’t looking

OP posts:
Original poster
Ohhyes · 19/02/2026 16:52

thank you all I don’t feel as bad now, I just want to be in the same position I was before and not worse off and I want my car checking out properly. Also I had 5 £240 car seats in my car that need replacing he definitely wouldn’t be coughing up to do that

OP posts:
NotAnotherScarf · 19/02/2026 17:10

You have every right to go through insurance or not. You did nothing wrong. The fact that you are a child minder and have seats for kids is important. Personally, worked in insurance for 20 years, I definitely would have just to make sure the seats were ok. Plus if you're mums injury is worse than first thought then it would be important too

Contact the police show them the messages you have received and then block everything after telling the other people to speak to your insurance company and not you.

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