Am I too sensitive?

[Slowliving2000]

I'm 26, single and child free at present.

A few incidents occured between my sister and I since the death of our parent last year that has hurt me but my sister thinks I'm too sensitive.

A bit of background, she's my half sister we share our Mother. Our Mom married my Dad when she was two and always treated her equally to me by my Dad as have my wider paternal family.

Since our Mom died last year, I feel sidelined by her. At Christmas she said she wanted a more family focused Christmas, celebrating at home with family. I was, however, welcomed to pop by on Christmas morning to deliver gifts. I was surprised to find her PIL, sister in law and her children there, dressed in their pjs. It was then I found out my sister's in laws were spending a few days over the holidays. I spent Christmas day with my paternal aunt and her family.

Early in the new year, I mentioned to my sister I felt hurt and sidelined. She laughed saying I'm too sensitive and I wouldn't have enjoyed it as I have no family of my own. For harmony's sake, I let it go. Since then, she rarely answers or returns my calls, is too busy to meet for coffee and declines my offers to meet her at soft play.

Fast forward now, it's my niece's birthday at the weekend, again, it will be a family focused celebration but I can call the day before her birthday to deliver her gift and perhaps babysit so sister and her husband can go out for dinner. Again I told my sister I'm hurt by her treatment of me, and although I love my niece, I'll visit with her present but I'm unable to babysit. My sister is now angry with me, I'm too sensitive and not willing to support her by not babysitting. Apparently, since our Mom died, she has very little support. I pointed out, she declined all invitations to meet up and excluded me from family celebrations when previously I would've been invited with our Mom. My sister still thinks I'm being too sensitive and told me her and our Mom frequently met up without me because I have nothing in common with Moms and wouldn't have enjoyed it.

Is this normal behaviour towards a child free sibling?
Am I being too sensitive?

Op sorry for your loss unfortunately people differ in grief they can push people away or rely on them more. Op your not being over sensitive your lonely you miss your mum and you had hoped that your ds would be there for you as you would be for her. With her having a family she will just carry on as she has too. Op your void has just become bigger because your ds isn’t being supportive she’s wrong to say your over sensitive your grieving everyone is sensitive when they lose family especially parents as they hold them family together. Are you getting counselling for your grief? You want your sister because you’re processing them the same grief but as a parent herself she really has to crack on. I wouldn’t push her away but I would try and fill your time away from her for now. She might be struggling emotionally and feels you are trying to lean on her and she’s got enough on her plate. Do you get on with her dh? Maybe she’s having his family more because of your loss there making memories because his parents will pass away eventually and they have realised life is too short. Don’t give up on her.

You are absolutely not being too sensitive. She is gaslighting you by saying that to you. She's a dick and I'd back off from her. Sorry OP. Sending love x

The fact that both of your parents are dead by your mid-20s (and possibly hers too?) makes her response even crueller, imo. It's very sad but I don't know that there's much you can do, except recognise the change and build your life elsewhere. Don't rely on her for emotional support or family togetherness.

This, this, this. You need to emotionally detach. She doesn’t like you.

told me her and our Mom frequently met up without me because I have nothing in common with Moms

This is a dreadful thing to say on so many levels. She is not nice to you.

This is rubbish OP, it seems pretty damning to exclude you from last Christmas with the loss of your Mum and without you having a partner or your own family... Seems heartless to not have an open door policy under the circumstances. She seems cold and unreasonable to leave you out and to expect you to babysit and miss out on family occasions. She is taking the biscuit. Completely reasonable to step back and focus on who supports you, and adds to your happiness.