Is it wrong to want to disappear upstairs at 7 pm?

[Somethingweirdgoingonintheworld]

Currently lay down cosy in bed.
In the evenings Dh and I alternate doing bedtime with Dd. I work but have been off whilst she’s been on school holidays this week. It’s been lovely, but full on as she’s very high energy. Some evenings after making dinner, tidying up etc, I just want to be alone for a minute and lie down. I sit with Dh and Dd by the fire watching tv after dinner and it’s lovely, but i’m almost counting down until when I can be alone.
Ive just come up at 7 and Dds bedtime is at 8
Is this weird?
I’m in my 40’s likely perimenopausal but tired by this time or at least in need of being alone for a moment
Would this be normal in a family set up?

If it’s your dhs turn to do bedtime that’s fine isn’t it?

My dc are older - 14 and 22 (!) and I love having an hour to myself on my bed alone to read / scroll etc every night, dh sits and does his own thing downstairs, dc are in their rooms doing their own thing and I go and lie on the bed! We all eat dinner together and spend a lot of time together but I do love that bit of alone time.

If DH did this regularly I'd think there was something wrong, odd occasions we both do, just tiredness or a long day, although he's more likely to wallow in a bubble bath. Not until after DS is in bed, although that would depend on age, ds goes to bed around 7. I think if it's not regular and you communicated why you were doing it it's fine.

I am the same, love my alone time after a day of working and kids. But do feel bad about it sometimes. I suppose so long as you take time to see each other and do nice things as well ?

Mine are teens so don't have to do a bedtime routine so whenever I get the chance I go to bed early, not to sleep, just relax, read, scroll on my phone. I love my bed.

Normal and no different than having a long bath.
We have a little snug room downstairs and every other evening have separate evenings as I really need time to myself.

Yanbu; I teach children with send and some days need to sit alone for a while in the evening. Was more resilient pre menopause (can’t take hrt due to Bc.)

I sometimes used to have to put my own children in holiday clubs for the same reason (though would also get get a load of paper work done) - not so much now they’re older. The eldest was particularly full on and needed to be on the go all day.

I think it’s fine and often can be just what’s needed. Just make sure it’s when DH is doing bedtime.

I’ve been doing a lot of vagus nerve stuff and do find it helps

Every night would be an issue, but on occasion? Nah. Sometimes I love a me night. Bath, bed, leave DH in charge downstairs with DS. He does the same. Great idea!

I do that almost every night OP! I take a cup of tea upstairs and just sit there drinking it in the quiet for about 15m. I’m really introverted and as much as I love my family I need quiet and not to talk for a while after work, cooking, catching up with everyone’s news etc.. my kids are teens now so I’m not needed all the time anyway, but I’m sure your family can spare you for 15m too :)

It's normal and healthy to have alone time. Introverts in particular need it to recharge. I'm a teacher and frankly I'm massively 'peopled out' by the evening. Luckily, DH has an musical hobby and often spends hours playing in the evenings.

Nothing wrong with having a bit of alone time when needed. My friend's mum was a headteacher and when she came home from work, she always went to her room to lie down in silence for half an hour! We knew not to disturb her, she obviously just needed that time to decompress. Then she'd come out of her room, smile and ask how your day was and start making dinner!

It's part of being a parent isn't it? Yes, it would be wonderful to have evenings doing adult stuff, but when you chose to have a child, you do as a family, that's life.

Going to bed early is not different from going out with friends, so that's ok too!

We are very much in the trenches with young kids. Once they’re in bed we almost always go and lie down watching a series in separate rooms. We come in for a cuddle and to ask if the other wants a drink or snack at various points. I also need to go to bed around 9pm. We spend weekend evenings together and full days at the weekend. We are happy but both need time alone x

I feel like this and I’m 36 - perfectly notmal
imo

Phew 😅