Emigrating

[BeFunnySloth]

My son is travelling in Thailand then wants to settle in Australia I had him when I was 16 he is the best son ever .he left yesterday and I’m actually heartbroken the physical pain and the constant anxiety 😥 how do I cope with the uncertainty that I may not see him again

Why wouldn’t you see him again?

What is your life like broadly speaking? Do you have a job you enjoy? Hobbies? Friends?

I understand missing him, totally, but your reaction seems excessive.

I know it sounds extreme that’s I feel been crying since he left yesterday he loved at home and we have the best relationship so hard the house feels awful without him in it

Why would you not see him again?

It's very easy to stay in touch these days as the technology is so much better than it was. And presumably he could come back and visit/ you could visit him?

I do understand you feeling upset at the thought of him being so far away, but ultimately, it's his life. You wouldn't want him to give up on his own dreams just too keep you happy, would you?

No of course not just feel this horrible sick feeling of missing him I know it will get easier as times goes on but for now I’m heartbroken

Anyone who can afford to regularly fly back and forth to Australia is in quite a privileged position.

He’s 27 worked hard as a carpenter and saved for a few years him and his girlfriend have gone travelling for 3 months with the hopes of setting in Australia I’m just missing him 💔

There’s nothing wrong with the way you’re feeling @BeFunnySloth I can understand totally, why wouldn’t you feel temporarily bereft? But he only left yesterday so it’s early days and you will feel better in the next few days. Be happy for him and look forward to hearing all about their adventures. It’s great to have the opportunity to travel and it more than likely won’t be forever. Start saving a little each week with the target of going out for a visit as soon as you can.

Most who leave for far away places tire of it and come home and it’s easier than ever to see his face and keep in touch in the meantime. Keep busy and be kind to yourself, this will be all be ok x

Absolutelydonewithit Thank you I know it will get easier he was just a massive part of our lives and 27 years somehow went in the blink of an eye and now he’s gone

Well first of all, he hasn't settled anywhere yet so wait and see how travelling together with his girlfriend goes.
Secondly, you’ve created a secure, loved man who now feels safe enough to spread his wings and go for his dreams - this is all a lovely reflection on you as his mum.

Take it one step at a time.
They are on a 3 month holiday. They likely would then need to come home before applying for work visas for Oz.
Even if they get them, they might find it not as appealing as they think. Cost of living is high and work is work.
If they do settle over there, you can travel to see them or even apply for a visa yourself.

I know everyone keeps saying that but doesn’t make it any easier we bring up these children all their lives in the hopes they are happy and build their own lives but when that day comes oh my it’s like a knife through the heart he’s a good kid and always wanted to do it and I am proud of him but selfishly I wish he was here 💔

They already have the 12 month working visa so I know realistically they’ll be there a year it’s hard watching him go knowing he’s not gonna walk through the front door

I’m 43 and 3 other children to keep me busy but cause he was my first at 16 years old it’s always been about me and him growing up together but I know he has to have his own life

I know exactly how you’re feeling. My son went to Australia on an 18 month secondment on graduate visa and has now been there 8 years and is now an Australian citizen with no immediate intention of coming back. Seeing him off at the airport was heart wrenching and as you say it’s the initial not knowing when you will see him again. It’s much easier to keep in touch now with FaceTime etc, though it’s not the same as seeing him in person you are seeing them if that makes sense.

We see each other in person every year. Either he comes here or we go there.
Easier said than done, but take heart that you have raised him to have the confidence to go off and life his life.

I now as time goes on I will get use to this new relationship I will have with him it’s just about adjusting to the new norm I hate change and if I could keep him here forever I would but I know that is not realistic and want him to live the life he deserves
thank you your comments are comforting

Its not the cost of the flights, it's the cost of renting short term that's the killer!

Think about what a better life he will have in Australia, that should help you feel better about it. My son's been gone for 18 months and ive been to see him once, which was fabulous.

@ByQuaintAzureWasp how did you cope with the feeling of him being so far away my heart can’t take it I feel restless and in bits that he’s no longer here

My heart goes out to you reading this !
I’m a mum of three boys but they’re still small. I’m sure I’ll feel exactly as you do when they head off out into the world.
you’ll see him again though you’ll visit him and he’ll visit you

OP I have just seen your recent post. As a Mum I 100% understand how hard it is for you. My son has been in Australia for 18 months. I was lucky enough to be able to go out there in November. Seeing where he lives helped me accept his life and understand why it is the right choice for him. I miss his presence and smell 😉