Is this a relationship red flag?

[Hopelesslyhangry]

ok be honest please I can take it!

would you be concerned about a relationship if, after 5 months of dating regularly, there hadn’t been any intimate moments? So no kissing, sex, hand holding, he never compliments me or says anything that would suggest we’re anything other than friends?! But yet, at the same time, we’ve been dating regularly, he asked me to be his girlfriend, he has bought me gifts for Valentine’s Day and seems romantic in that way, but there’s nothing intimate and we haven’t taken it to the next step yet? If after 5 months we still haven’t kissed, would that be a red flag to you??

I’ve tried to lean in for a kiss but it just doesn’t happen. He doesn’t seem keen so I didn’t want to push it, but now if after 5 months if he’s still not keen I’m starting to wonder if I’m just wasting my time and the ‘relationship’ is going nowhere?! Has anyone else ever waited this long?!

I would tackle it directly and ask him what's going on. But be prepared to end it. There's likely some kind of issue there, and if a relationship without physical touch or any intimacy isn't for you (and it wouldn't be for most people!), I'd just get out now.

Either he is very nervous or inexperienced or blocked by something or he's not really interested and is using you as cover for something else.

You don't say how old you both are and whether he's had past relationships

I would have walked a long time ago. Sex and passion is important to me in a relationship and if nothing has happened after 5 months it's either not going to happen or if it does, it will be sporadic and terrible.

Not necessarily the sex because maybe he doesn't believe in sex before marriage but to have no kissing or hugging is downright weird. You need to straight up ask him what the hell the problem is. Tbh I'm surprised you've gone 5 months without saying anything

I think the fact you haven’t felt able to raise it with him is a red flag.

How does he look at you? Do you feel any indication that he is physically attracted to you?

It is very odd yes, I can't imagine this. You can ask him ?

I would have already given up. I wouldn't think someone was interested in me if their was no intimacy. What's he like? Shy, nervous? Has he had a relationship before? Does he have friendships and healthy family relationships?

After 5 months a conversation needs to be had. If he is no second before marriage then an open conversation about what is acceptable needs to be had and then you need to make a decision if you can manage that.
He could also be someone that doesn't want sex/physical relationship, then it needs to be over as you aren't okay with that.
It worries me that after 5 months you haven't brought it up, it needs to happen now. It's really important that you have these big conversations.

Is he covering up that he’s gay?

Obviously

Yes, no kissing would be a red flag. Sounds like friends without benefits, rather than a relationship.

Do you mean asexual because not kissing a woman (assuming the OP is a woman) does not make a man attracted to other man.

Yes very odd. When you leant in for a kiss and he rejected it, why did you not say anything then?

Is he otherwise a ‘normal’ guy or do you think there might be some kind of neurodivergence? Has he had gfs in the past?

I cannot imagine anyone thinking this is normal.

Are you inexperienced when it comes to relationships? Is he? Because it seems incredible to me that you've accepted this for five months.

It is incredibly odd to be dating someone five months without ever kissing, hugging, holding hands or whatever. The only people I can think of who might conduct their relationships like this are very extreme Bible Belt fundamentalists in the the Deep South US.

At 5 months in you should be at the can't keep your hands off each other stage. I'd end things, I wouldn't try to find out what his issues are, you aren't here to fix him. He's not for you if he can't show any affection. Move on.

Not necessarily the sex because maybe he doesn't believe in sex before marriage

But surely if someone doesn't believe in sex before marriage, it's incredibly unfair of them not to have a conversation with their partner about that to make sure they're on the same page, rather than just unilaterally imposing a sexless relationship on them?

If someone doesn't want sex before marriage, they shouldn't be seeking relationships with people who do, so that would still be a red flag in this guy's case I think.

This would be a red flag for me yes. But I would have made a move myself. Maybe he is thinking the same thing?

I think both parts of the couple are equally responsible for initiating intimacy.

I would text him about it, if you don't have the nerve to bring it up face to face.

5 months in; don't take responsibility for fixing his issues. Its not your responsibility to make him a well rounded member of society. He should be that already. You're not his mum or his therapist.

Look at the relationship; does it fulfil your needs? Not "would it if he changed XYZ"