An old school friend I haven't seen in ages invited me out last weekend for some 'child free time'. We arranged to meet in a pub and I arrived a little late.
She had ordered a bottle of wine 'to share' but there was barely a glass left (I was only 20 minutes late).
I ordered another bottle and we polished it off at which point I assumed we'd head out for food, but she said 'oh just another', she went to the bar and came back with another bottle. Being a bit of a lush myself I didn't really mind but was getting bloody starving and not a little tipsy.
After convincing her we didn't need another bottle we went to a restaurant up the road. Of course she ordered a bottle of wine, no starter, I ordered an antipasti platter 'hoping she'd have some as she was seriously slurring but she didn't. When it came to ordering the main she said she didn't fancy anything, I said we could go elsewhere but she said 'oh just get a pizza and a salad and we can share'. She then ordered another bottle of wine.
The food arrived, she took two slices of pizza and didn't touch them, told me she had slimming world tomorrow so didn't want the calories, knocked back three glasses practically in a row and then lit a cig! I was so embarrassed and she laughed her way outside yelling 'oops'. At this point I paid the bill and met her outside hoping to get a taxi home but she stopped at every bar/club we passed wanting to go in.
It was midnight by this point and I was knackered and had to be up with the DC the next morning and didn't fancy babysitting a pissed 'semi friend'. She is however extremely persuasive and we ended up going into a late bar, as she promised 'to dance off the drink'. But no, she ordered a bottle of bloody champagne and then insisted we had to stay and drink it as it was 'sooo expensive'.
I did admittedly have a great time dancing but it escalated into a huge row when she insisted I buy a bottle of champagne too as it was 'only fair'. I offered to go halves on the one she bought and told her I was knackered and she was far too drunk (I was propping her up) and she seemed reasonable. Then as I was at the cloakroom she ordered two large beers 'for the road' by which she brought them out of the bar and was falling all over the street with them.
I endured her giving one to a tramp as if she was mother fucking theresa and then going on about how she'd made his night, shouting 'show me yer cock' at some random man, then she started puking everywhere. This was not fun in the middle of Soho on a saturday night (sunday morning to be precise) with tourists gawping at us.
She was so pissed no one would let us into a taxi and I ended up taking us to my friends club nearby and asking her to rescue us and drive her home. Her babysitter had to let her in and said 'oh not again'.
By this point I was craving NCT coffee mornings and softplay, this is what she reduced me to!
I have gone from being angry to being amused, then worried. This is not normal behaviour for a mother in her late twenties surely?