They can never be happy for me?

[Travelfairy]

Recently decided at the ripe old age of 46 to return to college to retrain as a Psychotherapist.

Had to go through a process to be accepted on to course etc was delighted to get a place. Told DM & Dsis, replies I got where,
'Oh I would never do that'
'Is there any point doing that at your age?'
'Listening to peoples problems all day would be draining'
'I'm shocked you would consider that'
'Wouldn't have had you down for working in that area'

Is this jealousy or what?

I feel quite hurt, they are always trying to put me down in one way or another. I am only a couple of months into the course but enjoying it so far.

YABU - they are just goving their opinion
YANBU - no need for some of these comments

They sound like the types who don’t like people “getting above their station”. You just need to ignore and soar - let the haters hate. You’ll be doing something you want to do with your life and they can just pickle themselves in their negativity.

My immediate hunch was embarrassment rather than jealousy - they know they don’t have the energy or focus to do anything for themselves so they respond with negativity to anyone taking a positive step forward for themselves.

What do/did they do for work? Do they consider you to be “up yourself” because you put effort into your work and wider life? (in my wider family this is shorthand for anyone who got a degree, basically)

What are the wider ways they have put you down in the past?

Go for it OP. We mostly regret what we didn't do, the chances we didn't take, the opportunities we didn't follow up. I did my degree aged 40 and enjoyed a 22 year long fulfilling career from it.
Just like in your case, my own mother wasn't exactly encouraging either but I didnt let that stop me or take away from my enjoyment of the university experience. Well done you and good luck. 💐

I think that as you proceed through your course, you'll realise that you perhaps chose this exact route because subconsciously you wanted to pin down exactly why these people are so lame, psychologically.

And you won't be able to go back from that realisation, and education, power and knowledge.. Your life will improve vastly as a result of your newfound intolerance of their small minded negativity. And on some level they know this, hence why they try to cut you down to size.

No one gets to clip your wings, unless you allow it by holding your wings out to them to be clipped. Fly away. Save yourself.

Well done you! Ignore them, hopefully you have other supportive family/friends

It will come from a place of jealousy and feeling shame that they wouldn’t bother to try new things or take a risk to pursue something they would enjoy. Maybe embarrassment that they don’t have any passions or interests.

This is such an interesting comment as this is exactly one of the reasons why I have wanted to study in this field.

To answer other posters questions. DM retired from an admin role. Dsis is a supervisor for cleaning staff in a company. Its a dead end job, no significant pay rise in 6 years and other poor conditions.

Dsis hasn't achieved much career wise and her DH is an ex addict etc I probably have a nicer life by most peoples standards and I think thats why she tries to tear me down at any opportunity but in a very subtle, manipulative way 🙄

good for you. follow your dream. just maje sure your course is properly accredited as they are dear and some are not what they should be apparently.

Oh God, how long have you got! 🙈

The rug I chose for my living room 😂, the car I bought, new friend I made (who also happens to be a Psychotherapist!!), where I choose to holiday, my hairstyle, school I chose for my kids, extended family members who I am friendly with, my DH's promotion (the job will be too much for him apparently 🙄) I could go on 😂

Ask them where they would see you working. You can determine from their answer how they actually perceive you.

Why are they even aware of this? Surely you keep these people at arm’s length

I had a parent like that. I ignored and years later I was told how proud they were and denied ever voicing their opinions

I had a parent like that. I ignored and years later I was told how proud they were and denied ever voicing their opinions

I had a parent like that. I ignored and years later I was told how proud they were and denied ever voicing their opinions

I had a parent like that. I ignored and years later I was told how proud they were and denied ever voicing their opinions

I had a parent like that. I ignored and years later I was told how proud they were and denied ever voicing their opinions

I had a parent like that. I ignored and years later I was told how proud they were and denied ever voicing their opinions

They live in the same small town and obviously they see my car/hair/rug when they visit. I wish I could keep them at arms length, several arms 😂😂

Thats a really really great tip!

Cant imagine why you’d choose to live and raise a family in the same village as this pair, let alone welcome them into you home.

I have a sister like this. Because she made poor choices she seemed to be mad that I didn't. So I got questions as to why I needed a big house , a fancy car ,
a trip to Rome as there are no beaches ! , bought my kids stuff . Whereas my parents were proud of me.
Wonder if they think your success makes their decisions look bad .

Honestly!!! Just do it! Why tell them? Spend what you want and do what you want. Don’t comment on them and their decisions. Make your decisions for yourself.

Some people genuinely have no imagination, and no interest in things they don’t already know. They may not be deliberately putting you down, just generally completely different attitudes to things that you appreciate.

Rome, no beaches 😂🙈 my Dsis in laws are quite wealthy and she was very money motivated, materialistic in the past..but her in laws have never been generous to BIL as they paid for expensive rehab for him twice and this is apparently reflected in the will.
My DH hasn't had a thing handed to him but through sheer hard work has a really good job now. I think that grates on her. I have an average admin job so that probably suited her but now I am retraining its getting to her....