I’m not sure if I’m being overly sensitive or if I’m justified in feeling upset about this.
I got married last year and we only recently received our wedding photos. When we sat down to look through them together for the first time, there were lots of pictures of me getting ready with my bridesmaids before walking down the aisle. Obviously, my husband hadn’t seen any of that because he wasn’t in the bridal suite but when those photos came up, he quickly skipped past them without looking. I asked him to go back because I wanted to see them, there were special moments, like my mum helping me into my dress.
As he looked through some of the photos of me in my dress before I walked down the aisle, he said, “Jesus, there are SO many of you, you’re really playing up to the camera.” I actually found the wedding morning quite awkward. I hate being the centre of attention and I’m not a naturally “posey” person and he knows that. Having constant photos taken was outside my comfort zone but the photographer guided me and reassured me I would like how they turned out. Surprisingly, I actually liked the photos of myself, which is rare because I’m usually very self critical. My husband also made remarks about how the photographer seemed to focus on me all day and must have “loved” me. We had a husband-and-wife photography team, so it wasn’t a guy being creepy with me. I explained that photographers typically take more photos of the bride because of the dress, hair, makeup, and flowers, that’s just standard for weddings.
This isn’t the first time he’s made comments like that. In the lead-up to the wedding, he would say things like, “How comes you get a bridal suite? Why don’t I get a groom’s suite?” or make comments that he and his best man would be getting ready in a cleaning cupboard. He also said he could already tell the wedding would be “all about you.” Anyone who knows me knows I’m not that type of person.
A few days later, we showed the wedding photos to some family. My aunt asked him what he thought when he first saw me walking down the aisle and whether my dress was what he imagined. He replied, “I thought it was just a dress.” That comment, combined with the earlier ones, really upset me.
It’s also brought back other things from the wedding that didn’t bother me at the time because I was in such a happy bubblem, but now they do. The night before the wedding, he stayed up drinking with friends until 4 a.m. On the morning of the wedding, we had planned to exchange letters and asked the photographer and videographer to capture it. When my bridesmaid handed me his letter, I opened it in front of everyone with cameras pointed at me. (I already felt awkward being the centre of attention). When I opened it, it was actually a birthday card with a kids cartoon on the front and the word “birthday” crossed out and replaced with “wedding.” Inside, it just said, “To (my name), love (his name).”
People I’ve spoken to say he’s just being a typical man, that men don’t care about these things. I understand that and at the time, none of it really bothered me. But after the comments about me “playing up to the camera,” it’s made me rethink everything. Now I can’t seem to get it out of my head.
Am I being too sensitive?