16 year old and Reading festival

[Iamsotiredandfedup]

Interested to hear other people’s opinions as daughter is adamant I’m in a minority here

she wants to go to Reading festival, she would have just turned 16. For context she’s a pretty sensible kid, no huge dramas other than the usual teenage stuff but she’s also had quite a sheltered life compared to me at that age

my concerns are fights, drugs, sexual assault and just generally being out of her depth. I know she wouldn’t start a fight or do drugs but I don’t love the idea of her around all that. I’ve been to many festivals and seen what a shit show it can be. I just feel in 2 years time she can do all of this and enjoy that freedom, right now feels too early

her argument is loads of friends are going (a classic) and she’d be with a group of sensible kids. She has said she’d take an AirTag although I’m not convinced that keeps her safe 😂

YABU let her go and have fun

YANBU I wouldn’t let my child go either

My son and lots of his mates from our town went after GCSEs. They all camped in the same area (loads of them) and had a great time. It's well patrolled by security guards.

My three all went to Reading post GCSEs and they had a fabulous time. Probably drank too much and came home tired and smelly . Drugs will be always a problem but if the kids look out for each other and are absolutely not tempted they should be ok .

The huge problems with Reading and other festivals happened years ago when it was easy to go on without a ticket

It's virtually impossible to get in without a ticket now and the fights, sexual assault etc concerns are pretty much the same as a night out in a city or even less because there's so much security there.

Watching with interest as I have said yes to my DTs going this year. They’ll be 16.5 at that point. I’m super anxious so it would be useful to hear from people whose teens have been recently as opposed to those who went at 16 20-30 years ago (but thank you all the same 😀)

It was in general. She said the age group seemed to be considerably younger than the mix it used to be and she's not ancient!! Definitely seems to be a GCSE end of term thing to do.

Honestly, I was so impressed at how safe it felt. The security actively scan the crowds from the front and any one who fainted or was sick was out of the crowd in less than a minute in a very slick and practised fashion. Loads of staff and volunteers around everywhere.

If it’s just for the day I would definitely say yes

My son went at 15 and I was very reassured by the parents car park!

As others say it’s a festival for 16 year olds…

I went a few times and it wasn’t the same when I was young! It was a proper festival with lots going on… it isn’t now…

my son spent a lot of money on Milkshakes and food and this is a boy who can find trouble in a paper bag!!

she will be fine and it’s a post gcse good time!

As you've updated to say it's only for the day then really can't see an issue.

No way. Absolutely no way.
Having had a 17 year old go, it's a disaster waiting to happen.
Security is crap as is the mobile phone signal. Kids going nuts with drugs.
Just turned 16 isn't old enough.

DS is first year uni. He’s too old for Reading now apparently.
But it’s a post gcse rite of passage do she’s not lying.
you can buy a subscription to a phone charger forget get a new portable charger everyday.
And try and pick them up on the Sunday night before the mayhem kicks in. TBH they want to leave by then.
Expect them to sleep the whole next week.
They may also try and take in a lot of ‘water’ bottles. So be prepared for that.

We have been to Reading festival with our DDs several times. We’ve camped, day ticketed and Airbnb diff years.

It sounds like you’re saying only one day? If it’s a day ticket I wouldn’t worry at all - day tickets only give access to the main arena, and things are very chill.

The evening club tents and campsites overnight can be a bit more worrying. I would then make a decision based on who she is with - a good sized group, ideally with boys too, and they will all stick together.

Statistically it is very safe and well organised and trouble (esp in the daytime) is rare, but there are isolated cases of girls being drugged, and there’s a fair bit of lower level sexual harassment that I feel our DDs wouldn’t have coped well with (and why should they have to 🤬…)

To reference the posts about the vibe last year…it does depend on the music. BIG diff between the Fri night Chappell fans and the Sun night Travis Scott fans. And that goes to show how many people on just for the day because it is a completely different crowd day on day.

The line up this year feels good - Charlie XCX, Raye, Florence.

She is telling the truth about everyone going post GCSEs / at 16. She likely won’t want to go at 18. (We are an outlier as repeat attendees…)

We took the approach with this sort of thing to take ours to concerts and festivals (from 14) so that by the time they were old enough to go solo they knew what to expect / were more prepared. They are now seasoned pros and barricade regulars!

It's full of 16 year olds. My son went when he was 17 and he felt too old for it.

It’s a rite of passage after GCSEs round here.

key thing is don’t camp too close to the stage or too near to paths- both mine had horror stories of tents getting trashed….

the last night is traditionally quite full on. Mine both stayed (inc DD who was only just 16) but other people I know picked their kids up once the show finished.

We live within an hour of Reading and “everyone” is going and, for once, having spoken to various parents from
DD’s current school friends as well as primary school, extra curric activities and so on, just about everyone actually is. Those that aren’t tend to have a reason (eg anxiety in crowds) beyond their parents saying they can’t or not being able to afford it. I am really not looking forward to DD going but also know it would be really damaging to my relationship with her and to her relationship with her mates so have said yes and will just fret whilst she’s there! I am reassuring myself that, whilst various things can go wrong, most people come home having had a brilliant time.

I’ve spoken with a couple of her friend’s mums who have said yes so I’m leaning that way, her friends are doing the weekend though and she’d do a day which she’s happy with

it’s hard isn’t it? I remember hating my dad for not letting me go to under 18 nights but after sneaking out to them I could see why! Fingers crossed they’ll be having a lovely time while we pace around at home 😂

Thanks again for all the replies, it sounds very different to what I was thinking. I was imagining my 16 year old in a crown of 20 somethings. I still don’t love the idea but we’ll have some conversations about safety and what to do in certain situations, I do think it’s a lovely thing to look forward to after exams

my daughter is super happy with mumsnet right now 😂

Very normal post GCSEs, let her go.

I volunteer there with the police. Just be careful of spiking. My friends daughter was spiked by a man with a ring in his finger. ( dance tent): she ended up in A and E. As long as she's aware, also about being crushed at the front.
It's zbrilliant weekend! Watch out for dust inhalation too, take bandana or 3 that can be worn wet over face.

Whatever she says she feels about drugs, do have a really open conversation to find out what she knows about what they look like, how people take them, and what the effects feel like. Same as the conversation about understanding what 'proof' and '%' mean for alcohol. Wave her off knowing what's what - the difference between being offered beer or vodka, the difference between someone selling ketamine and someone peacefully smoking a joint. Naivety can be a risk. Hope she has great fun.

Meh, I went at 17 in the very early 00s when it was a much older crowd and much, much rowdier/rougher. I was fine. My tent got trashed and I had to camp in with some lads that I knew vaguely from home for two nights. They were perfect gents, bar the general farting and snoring! I’m married to one of them now ha ha!

Talk to her about drinking too much and drugs, make sure she knows to keep her wits about her (no different to a night out, really!) make sure she knows she can contact you for help if she needs to no matter what (without worrying about getting into trouble - any tellings off can wait until the situation is sorted, if needed at all!) and she’ll be grand!

I wouldn’t like it. But 16yo kids have always done this, it’s a rite of passage. I did it at 15, no idea why my parents let me. Went to Ibiza at 17.

i think you’ve got to let them, there’s so much support and security now. I’d have an extremely serious talk about drugs and never going off alone, but I think you’ve got to let them do these things.

Love that you’re married to one of them now!

We have a good relationship thankfully and talk about most things. She knows she can call me at midnight because her friends thrown up everywhere after drinking MY expensive vodka. Helping them should always come before the bollocking (I saved that for when they were hungover the next morning)

My 16 year old is going BUT she’s not camping! No way. I’ve been to many Reading Festivals and I wouldn’t sleep for a whole weekend if I knew she was in the middle of all that stuff such a young age.

Do they still set gas canisters alight on the Sunday night?

Ah ha yes it took a good few years before we settled down but we ended up together once we both grew up a bit! Some twenty odd years later and here we still are!

I always say to my (younger than yours) children that I want their first instinct to be ‘I must tell Mum, she’ll know what to do and can help’ rather than ‘I can’t tell Mum because she’ll be cross’. I might well be cross after the event whatever it is, but that can be dealt with later. First, I will always help them no matter what is happening.

Currently that means ‘telling Mum’ when they’ve been silly and thought decorating bits of their bedroom furniture with peel off nail polish would look nice only to find it’s made an unholy mess and they need help sorting it out … but I’m hoping that in years to come the general gist will translate to boys, drinking and drugs!!