Post natal depression

[MK0703]

Not sure if I fit the bill but I’m just wondering what people felt like with post natal depression, I’m not sure if I have it or just the baby blues iv been told that baby blues only last up to 2 weeks and I’m at my 2 week peak and I feel really down, I’m completely fine when I wake up and during the day and then my feelings hit me at night like a ton of bricks I start feeling really emotional about everything and just generally down in myself and then I’m fine again the next morning but again by night time it hits me again.

Keep an eye on it, I can remember feeling similar at bedtime and it was definitely due to knowing it should be time to sleep but the reality with a newborn is - no sleep whilst everyone else in the house is sparko.

Yes i definitely feel this has an impact, was yours post natal depression or was it just finding the nights hard, sorry to be intrusive don’t worry if you don’t want to share

I didn't get it myself but I've heard A LOT of people talk about "the sundown scaries'. Absolutely keep an eye on yourself - if you are depressed it's best to catch it early - but given it's so early on and only at night I would probably say it's the scaries and it will pass in time. How much support do you have at bedtime? Can you get your partner to hold the babe while you go to bed early? Or can you get them to do the night time chores while you hold the baby and watch something really comforting on TV?

to be fair my partner is really good he does so much to help me out but I do have a 11 month old as well that can wake up at night as well so at the minute I’m thinking it could be that I’m just so exhausted at night with 2 kids under 1 that both wake up during the night

I had a newborn and an a 12 month old so know how you feel. I was the exact same when night time. I just knew I’d be up every couple of hours sat alone in the dark with a newborn baby. It wasn’t nice. My dh slept in the other room with the 12 month old so he dealt with her if she woke. That was one less pressure off me.
i never had PD but I did get the night time dreads. Think they lasted a few weeks till a “routine” fell into place.
Please see someone if you feel you are getting depressed. Hope your ok

Hi op, I had postnatal depression with my eldest (I have three now). I felt very similarly to you and the evenings were the worst, I kept searching for Mumsnet threads to find people who had felt the same as me. I also didn’t have that rush of love with my eldest (that I now realise is absolutely normal and fine), but I think that made it all worse as I felt this pressure that I should be in a blissful bubble of happiness. Anyway, by the time he was about 3 months old I was getting more sleep but really wasn’t myself and I knew deep down this wasn’t how I should be feeling. Went to GP, who was lovely, v quickly got referred and I was put on a low dose of antidepressants. Honestly couldn’t believe it but within a couple of months I felt totally myself again - well, as much as is possible when you have a baby. But I actually started to enjoy it all and I remember around that time randomly tearing up whilst looking at my son because of how much I loved him; it felt like I’d been so numb up until this point. I stayed on the pills for a few more months but then came off.

to put it into perspective, I didn’t have the same depression with my other two. The newborn stages were just as physically exhausting, and I don’t generally enjoy the newborn stages (except for the daytime when you can watch tv), BUT I wasn’t depressed and it was very different.

anyway, that’s my experience - I would recommend chatting to the GP or midwife (if you haven’t been discharged). No harm in starting a conversation about it. Please also remember that how you feel is so so so common, but don’t minimise it either.

sending lots of solidarity and a reminder that it is SO SO hard having a newborn (especially when it’s your first)…nothing prepares you for it. Also, for further consolation, I never found anything as hard as going from 0-1!

Apologies, I didn’t see your update and that you have an 11 month old. Wow, 2 under 1 must be absolutely exhausting - you’re doing a great job if everyone is alive and fed at the end of the day. Whether it’s depression or not, I do think it’s worth talking to someone.

I know I think I will speak to my midwife thank you so much for your advice

I remember my OB saying if it goes away with some good sleep, it's just the severe tiredness. If it doesn't, to come back and seek help.

Hi @MK0703 I’m happy to share, no I didn’t have post natal depression but my mum died at 35 weeks pregnant suddenly so I had a lot going on I was definitely understandably very very sad and deeply grieving whilst learning how to be a mum.
it sounds to be like you are absolutely overwhelmed an exhausted you have 2 very close together mine were 16 m apart and that was tough!
if really reccomend getting out every day playgroups / church groups / library were my saviour and I made friends for life from them, try if you can get a 20 min bath ( or longer ) before you start the night shift just some peace and quiet without a baby on you maybe when you’ve had a relax your partner could bring the baby in the bath with you , that was a lovely way to end the day I remember fondly, my third is 16 m and I’m in the trenches in other ways now.
keep going x

Hi there, agree with others about speaking to your midwife/GP. It's their job to spot signs and help you, which can be very hard to do yourself especially when under so much demand with two little ones.

I had PND and, although evenings were the worst, I felt absolutely awful all the time. Like all joy and hope had been sucked out of my life. It was the greatest slog to keep going when every part of me wanted to shut down.

But it manifests in different ways. Just be honest with yourself as to whether you feel you're coping or need some extra support. Totally normal if you do. And keep your favourite snack/drink/comfort item for night times so you have something positive to look forward to!