Should I agree their dad should have the kids more?

[BookArt55]

Court order is from April 2025.
Dad gets every other weekend, and every other Wednesday. He stormed out of court, so my plan for Christmas and the kid's birthdays was agreed as the judge felt I was fair with my proposal giving the court findings and dad's behaviours.
Fast forward, I have ongoing concerns about ex's parenting- he still doesn't follow medical guidance, he still talks to the kids about adult ssues, they know far too much for 7 and 3 years old. The kids now tell me they want a 2,2, 5,5 pattern, that they want 'equal' time- a word they wouldn't use in this context but their dad sure does. They talk about how lonely and sad dad is (despite having a girlfriend of 2 years and step daughter), and how dad hates me and tells them i am really mean to him. These are the highlights. I have concerns that this is affecting the kids behaviour- gone backwards in toileting, biting nails, refusing to leave me, nightmares... again another endless list.

Dad has asked over 50 times in the last 10months for more time. On Thursday evening, ex messages on the parenting app 6 times in 24 hours about more time this half term. I did respond after the 5th message saying no thank you, we have plans and I will stick to the court order. He's messaged again this morning now saying he is free all week.

It was an abusive relationship, 2 years out of it and I still doubt myself. I don't think he should have more time because the kids come back so diregulated, and angry with me. But then they ask for more time with their dad... using the exact same words and plans from his messages is where I am assuming he is coaching them. The latest is 'daddy has told...' them they will have a visitor soon at his house and they need to tell the visitor they want more time with him. Dad thinks we should listen to the kids, I think they are 3 and 7 and too young to have that decision on their shoulders when they are so young and struggling emotionally as it is.

I don't think I'm unreasonable to say no to more time with him... but then I doubt myself. I want an amicable coparenting relationship for the kid's sake, but I don't think it will ever be possible.

So am I unreasonable to stick completely ro the court order and not deviate at all?

Any advice on how to support the kids? Struggling and waffled on enough now. Thanks for reading.

I would report him for emotional abuse if he continues to manipulate the children, he is causing them untold longterm suffering. He needs parenting classes.
Write down every incident.

Yeah he is damaging your kids. I would bring them to a play therapist and get an internal ring camera. Personally I would be trying to reduce it to supervised visits only. The missing medication and disregarding doctors orders regarding food allergies should be brought up too - it is unbelievably cruel. If it is your youngest with the food issues it could very well cause disregulation and acting out if they have digestive pain.

I could have got one a year ago after a bigger incident but then didn't because I wanted him to attend medical appointments for the kids so he can actually listen to thr doctor and do as we are both told

As an fyi my mum did this too in a same same different type scenario to this and regretted it badly.
Next time it comes up push for it and just get it done. Don't hand wring, dont hope, just nail him.
The allergy info could have been got to him 50 different ways and he STILL is foing whatever the fuck he likes.
So really the non mol order would habe beem the better choice.

Honestly good luck with this - youve had great advice on here.

Take advice byt if you can I d try and use the ring camera evidence to go back to court and reduce contact further (supervised ideally)