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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Depressed

1 reply

Boymum36292 · 16/02/2026 19:17

Genuinely don’t know if I’m being unreasonable or not and getting myself more and more upset about it. I’m struggling with depression and anxiety which has just really gotten worse the past week. There’s a lot going on in the family and in work and it was almost inevitable. The thing I’m asking about is how much help should I expect from my husband? I’m feeling incredibly lonely but I don’t know if it’s just the depression.

We had one conversation about it where I said a few days ago that I think I’m going to have a breakdown, I was struggling to do basic things or even want to leave the house. I have 3 kids with the busyness that brings. I told work I needed some time off this week and it’s as though he’s thought great I can do less around the house since she’s off. I got up at 6.45am to pick up a food order, he got the kids ready, I made their lunches, took 2 of them to school, came back and did the dishwasher that hadn’t been done, looked after 1 child all day who is off (we both work from home though I’m off sick obviously). I prepped dinner, the dishes are still sitting there now undone. And we were meant to all go do an activity this evening and I burst into tears randomly and couldn’t stop and after 10 mins of watching me cry and not saying a thing (and the kids crying cause they were so upset I was upset) he just said “ do you just want to stay here?” And sighed and reluctantly took them out.

Am I living in a fairytale world in my head that I thought a husband should be more caring and protective? If it were me I would be asking how can I help? How are you feeling? How can I take some of the burden off you? He hasn’t once asked me how I am or even talked about it at all since I confided in him the other day. It’s like nothing has happened. While I can’t stop crying and trying to hide it from the kids. I honestly feel like he sees the whole thing as an inconvenience. I really don’t want to sound so self-centred but I feel so lonely and uncared for. Aibu? Is it the depression talking?

OP posts:
PussInBin20 · 16/02/2026 19:42

I don’t know but he sounds clueless and uncaring. I think some men are just so used to us women being the Managers of the household that they simply can’t comprehend what to do when we “breakdown”. They probably don’t want to acknowledge it as that would mean them stepping up.

I think many men just see us as their Mothers tbh and can’t fathom that we need looking after too!

YANBU. Hugs to you.

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