To find “you can treat me” infuriating?

[symbylotic]

I’m fairly young and work in banking. The hours are horrific and I have little time to unwind. I probably won’t stay in this job for a year or so. I’m saving hard but also enjoying being able to afford nice things for myself, but nothing wasteful.

It’s easy to find out how much I earn. You just google company and job title and all sorts of student articles pop up.

This means most of my family would know how much I earn. Whenever I speak to them they say things like “oh maybe you could treat me😁” or if we go for dinner it’s “I know how you like to treat your mum” or even DP now joking he isn’t going for more stressful roles because “I can look after him”.

I am fairly generous and believe in hospitality, but AIBU to find these comments infuriating? It adds so much pressure and expectation that I have to work horrendous hours like it’s my responsibility

I'd laugh. If that's not enough say no, that's not something I'm able to do today. Or I thought you were treating me today.

Moving forward I'd set the expectations before going out.

I aways do because I don't split bills. I don't drink and my friends do. I can't afford to pay for someone else to get pissed. So I a get separate bill. They can do a bottle of wine each with dinner and a cocktail or 2.

Your dp leave him.

You’re family you’re saving so you can leave the job sorry. And just stop going out with them for no.

I had this, particularly from my grandad. Practically thought I was a millionaire because I'm a "professional"!

I remember relatives discussing someone they knew of who was half-brother of an ex Premier League player. They thought it was terrible that the person was broke and brother should be giving them money.
I was the only one who disagreed, if you're healthy and able bodied why on earth do you need siblings to support you?! Doesn't matter how much sibling earns, in my opinion you're not entitled to it.

I can understand your mum being a bit cheeky as the normal family dynamic is parents treating their kids but once you reach adulthood it's sometimes nice for parents to be treated.

Your DP though 😮

I’d say, “The problem with everyone I know coming to expect me to treat them is that I have nothing left to treat them with.”

Perfect answer...

Followed up by replying to dear old mum when she asks are you going to treat me?
"Why is it your Birthday or something."

They've all guilt tripped you into feeling you must be generous to them at all times... because... family.

How generous are they with their advice, their time, their help? Probably not as generous as you. Time to become a bit more of a tight wad like them. They will probably respect you more than they do at the moment.

I'm mortified for them reading this. Zero shame.

I would just say no i cant and move on

I once had an argument with a relative after they uttered these immortal lines. I was young and skint while they were quite well off. YANBU!

What a lot of CFs! I would laugh and say yes "in your dreams" this reminds me of Alan Carr ,he said when he got famous .Christmas list for mum.ugg boots .Nintendo switch.and something else! He was like " OK mum enough already " Also DH .need to nip in bud .or you will become the family banker!

Maybe they’re jealous - members of my family constantly make comments about money comes to money or it always falls on the biggest pile as believe I working in finance must be loaded. I’m comfortable but have bloody worked for it.

Just tell them they will recieve their treat in Monopoly money.

They have a cheek to be honest and may be testing the water, to see what they can get out of you.

Tell them you are saving and ignore any dissappintment from them.

If they have to ask then it's no good . You might want to treat them sometime but it will be when you want to. Saying that would put me right off just because.
I have a friend who is a little bit famous through music . We were out one night and he bought drinks . Next round I bought him one . He said that it is very rare that anyone ever buys him a drink and he appreciated the gesture .

Stop it now! I had a banking job like you and I'm now 55 without the job and I'm still expected to pay for my mother who has more than enough money!

it is my power to say no I cant why do people find it so hard to stand up to people

just say no

Just laugh it off and tell them they're being ridiculous.
Your partner saying that though, urgh would put me right off.

YANBU. You're not a wishing well on legs.