Neurodiverse or toddler behaviour?

[LetsGoOutside]

Can someone who is wiser and more experienced than me, please tell me if AIBU to raise concerns with nursery? (Toddler room)

Toddler (3 in May) shows some strange behaviours. I have no idea if these are typical toddler behaviours that he’ll grow out of or there is some neurodiverse needs.

What he is great with (seen at home and in nursery)

• eating, will eat almost anything
• sleeping - has slept through since 3 months
• speech - what he uses and understands completely normal for his age
• socialises with others and can take turns
• Change of routine doesn’t unsettled him at all.
• plays creatively with all his toys (role play kitchen, cars and blocks etc)
• he isn’t phased by getting dirty.

What I am unsure of (is this typical toddler behaviour because I just don’t know)

• when excited he rocks on his needs flaps/waves his arms and rubs his fingers together.
• he will lie down and rub his genitals against the floor or lean on an object to do this. When doing this he completely zones out and isn’t responsive.
• he absolutely loves tactile play: water, sand, play dough.

Nursery have also observed all the above.

I have no idea if this last point is relevant but he’s so chilled out! He hates walking and loves his pram or a trolly or anything that means he doesn’t have to walk! Loves a play centre though!

Please can someone give me some advice? Is this all typical for a toddler who will be three in May? I originally thought autism then SPD but it’s almost like he has some traits but not all. I ask as if he needs a bank of tactics to help him self regulate I would rather make a referral and get the support he needs before he starts school.

Thank you for reading this far. 😊

He doesn't sound like he has any issues self regulating? He socialises, enjoys playing with different textures, can cope with transitions and routine changes. He sounds totally normal.

Just remind him that willies are private and he can play when he's alone in bed but not in the lounge 🤷

Last three points are completely normal for toddlers, imo. You should tell/teach him to rub his genitalia in privacy of his room. It's normal, so no need for shame, but he's masturbating.

Normal toddler.

Normal toddler behaviour

You’re not unreasonable at all. Most of what you’ve described, rocking when excited, sensory play, even the genital rubbing can be very typical for nearly-three-year-olds.

Given his strong speech, social skills and flexibility, nothing sounds like an obvious red flag. A quick chat with nursery or your health visitor for reassurance is absolutely fine, but he sounds like a happy, chilled little boy.

Sounds completely normal - my autistic dd was the opposite of your son on every single of your points except getting dirty. No speech until 4 was why she was initially identified as having done issues, was diagnosed at 2 and 9 months

He sounds like a perfectly normal 3 year old.

Thanks all 😊