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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why is my sister becoming aggressive

7 replies

bbcnewsboos · 16/02/2026 15:10

She is 38 And my mum is her full time carer. She was diagnosed with “global development delay” when she was 4, didn’t talk until after this, and only crawled up to this point.
She can talk but obviously her language is limited in that she can’t have an in depth conversation, it’s more like hello, yes/no, do you like my hair etc. She can write her name but it is very childish, like a toddlers writing. She cannot bath herself, make herself food, go out alone, can’t ride a bike, swim etc, she would walk off with a stranger if they said they had some dvds for her. She has special interests which are dvds and certain musicians and actors. She struggles with eye contact too, sometimes has vocal tics.

She can become aggressive if she is upset, she will launch herself onto my mum, any partners of my mums, family members, she wouldn’t do it to a stranger. Then she cries and demands we shake hands to be friends again. I think she is autistic like much of my family who have asd and adhd. Does anyone know why she gets aggressive sometimes ?
I’ve been reading about there potentially being a new diagnosis of profound autism and I think my sister fits the criteria. It specifically mentions aggressiveness and limited language and low IQ.
Is there any way of getting her reassessed now? When she was diagnosed we didn’t know much about these spectrum disorders and I think we could be told much more now.

OP posts:
JLou08 · 16/02/2026 15:17

It sounds like she has a learning disability, was she not assessed for this as a teen? Aggression can be quite common in people with learning disabilities, there are specialist teams of nurses, psychologists and psychiatrists that support with Learning Disability behaviours. Your parents should ask the GP for a referral to Learning Disability Services.

BillieWiper · 16/02/2026 15:17

I guess take her to the GP and see what they say. There may be a very long waiting list for an autism assessment. Could you afford to go private?

If you mention the aggression they might be able to suggest therapy or medication that could help. Or some kind of calming techniques. Have you looked on autism charities websites?

It sounds like she needs lots of support so I hope she's claiming PIP and any other benefits for her disabilities.

bbcnewsboos · 16/02/2026 15:19

I thought the global development delay is a learning disability ? So I’m not saying that she hasn’t, she clearly does but I also think she is autistic too

OP posts:
JLou08 · 16/02/2026 15:27

bbcnewsboos · 16/02/2026 15:19

I thought the global development delay is a learning disability ? So I’m not saying that she hasn’t, she clearly does but I also think she is autistic too

No, some children with global development delay will go on to have a learning disability but not all. They will usually be assessed again as teenagers to decide if it's Learning Disability, which is a serious lifelong condition. I work with people with Learning Disabilities and Autism. Everything you've said fits with a learning disability diagnosis, Autism can be a co-occurring condition but if the needs can be explained by a learning disability it's unlikely an autism assessment would be deemed in their best interest. Autism and LD are often approached with the same strategies anyway and health professionals will take a learning disability more seriously than they would an autism diagnosis. In my area there is next to no support for autism from health but learning disability has a really good multidisciplinary health team, so I'd be looking more into the learning disability diagnosis route if I was you. That will be the best way to access good support.

bbcnewsboos · 16/02/2026 15:37

JLou08 · 16/02/2026 15:27

No, some children with global development delay will go on to have a learning disability but not all. They will usually be assessed again as teenagers to decide if it's Learning Disability, which is a serious lifelong condition. I work with people with Learning Disabilities and Autism. Everything you've said fits with a learning disability diagnosis, Autism can be a co-occurring condition but if the needs can be explained by a learning disability it's unlikely an autism assessment would be deemed in their best interest. Autism and LD are often approached with the same strategies anyway and health professionals will take a learning disability more seriously than they would an autism diagnosis. In my area there is next to no support for autism from health but learning disability has a really good multidisciplinary health team, so I'd be looking more into the learning disability diagnosis route if I was you. That will be the best way to access good support.

Oh thank you for the information ! I am mind blown as I always thought it was the same thing, and so does my mum ! Can I ask what the difference between a global development delay and learning disability is ? She has never been reassessed for anything. One time my mum did take her to the gp and they wanted to know if she was hearing voices…

OP posts:
JLou08 · 16/02/2026 15:43

bbcnewsboos · 16/02/2026 15:37

Oh thank you for the information ! I am mind blown as I always thought it was the same thing, and so does my mum ! Can I ask what the difference between a global development delay and learning disability is ? She has never been reassessed for anything. One time my mum did take her to the gp and they wanted to know if she was hearing voices…

Global development delay is just a delay in development in at least two areas. Many children will catch up to their peers and no longer be delayed, some will have learning difficulties, some will have a learning disability which is a significant cognitive impairment.
If your sister was diagnosed, she should have been on the Learning Disability register and having annual learning disability checks. So from what you've said about the GP appointments, it sounds like she hasn't. I'd definitely get the ball rolling to have her added on to the Learning Disability register. Health outcomes can be a lot poorer for people with LD and being on that register and having annual checks gives additional protection, as well as access to support with behaviours.

BreakingBroken · 16/02/2026 15:46

it must be very frustrating for her, she obviously has some understanding but is very limited in being able to express herself.
A psychiatric assessment wouldn’t hurt as they may have suggestions on techniques that will help.

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