Just found out I'm pregnant and I freaked out BIG STYLE

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Please be gentle

I just found out I'm pregnant, totally unexpected but had bloods to check why I've been so unwell shocked.

I have a benign brain tumour and I was diagnosed when pregnant with DC (not my DH but he is very much the only Dad our DC knows as DC father is a R*PIST) which was absolutely horrific leading to severe PTSD and other MH issues. I was told if i ever got pregnant again, it would be an extreme high risk due to hotmones causing growth. Husband has ASAB (ANTI SPERM ANTIBODIES) so we didn't even think it would happen this naturally or this soon.

Mu DH is the most amazing man I've ever met, he REALLY wants another but I just don't know, I am happy with my life now and we've literally judt put an offer in for our first home after leaving the military.

When the doc called I just IMMEDIATELY started crying and freaking out. I think I've terrified my poor husband because now hes saying he doesn't know what to do etc.

My DC is severely AUDHD and we've struggled with school and now with us buying our home, we're moving countries which is an incredible stress.

I just don't know what the F to do, I wanted another child but not now and it feels like too much pressure with everything going on.

Please someone just help me out. I have no idea if I'm being unreasonable by freaking out and backtracking.

How can you be backtracking if it’s an unplanned pregnancy?

I don’t know what country you are in for your doctor to be calling your with a pregnancy test result but if it’s one with legal abortion laws, that’s a conversation to have with the relevant person (a conversation doesn’t mean you need to go ahead but talking it through might help).

If the pregnancy can cause the brain tumor to grow I would probably abort. Not a Dr but I believe a benign tumour can still be dangerous, but talk to your Dr to get clarity on that if you haven't already.

This just me though, you need to do what's right for you and your family. Sorry you are stressed out.

we didn't even think it would happen this naturally or this soon

This sounds like neither of you was using contraception so it was always a possibility. You don’t have to stay pregnant if you don’t want to.

How could you backtrack an unplanned pregnancy?

It sounds like in your heart you just don't want this, and that's absolutely okay.

Oh no, I'm on the IUD. I just meant that I thought when we were ready to try it would be IVF or a donor. By soon I mean this soon after buying a house and leaving the only lifestyle we know. I just panicked typed.

There’s a lot to process there

will the pregnancy make your brain tumor grow?
can you take care of the baby financially?

You could do this I think, you just sound terrified and emotional understandably, but not if the answers to the above are negative

all the best x

Just to clarify 1- sorry for spelling mistakes, a lot of tears🥲

2- backtrack because I don't think I want it but my DH and I have talked in the past(7 yrs ago when we got together), agreed for the future bla blah and I guess I was a young airhead who didn't realise how FKING difficult life was. I just don't want to play with his emotions is what I'm saying. Hopefully I've worded it right what I'm trying to say.

You need to calm down before even thinking about all this any further.
Your panic is tangible in your posts. Nothing makes sense when you are in a panic.

Calm down, then post again more rationally.

Op, you don't need to risk your life to appease your husband. I imagine you found out about the tumour and other things (maybe son's diagnosis) after you had the tell about keeping the baby. It's ok to change a decision depending on how life goes.)

I agree with calm down. I’d also think what are the likelihoods of you getting pregnant again after this if you decide not to go ahead with this pregnancy.

OP there is no choice. You need to terminate to avoid affecting the tumour negatively

I was told if i ever got pregnant again, it would be an extreme high risk due to hotmones causing growth.

these are your words - read it back - it’s serious

You don’t need to make any decisions right now.

You say that if you got pregnant then it would be very high risk - what does this mean?
Is the pregnancy even viable or is it likely that you can’t carry to term any way?

I would speak to a medical professional about how high risk the pregnancy will be as it sounds like the decision will be out of your hands anyway.