to feel irritated about the lack of men taking time off for half term?

[HazelMember]

It always seems to be the women scrabbling around trying to sort childcare for half term. In my office the conversation started months ago about who’s booking leave, who’s juggling grandparents, who’s working from home with kids in the background. It’s nearly always the mums having these discussions.

What gets me is that quite a few of these couples have very similar roles and levels of responsibility. It’s not as though the husbands are all surgeons or airline pilots who physically can’t take time off. They work comparable jobs. Yet you rarely hear the fathers talking about booking annual leave for half term or planning what they’re doing with the kids.

I’m not saying all dads, obviously. I know some who absolutely do their share. But culturally, in my workplace at least, it still seems to default to women managing it. Even when both parents work similar jobs.

Just back from a walk and met a couple of two dads with kids at the park. They are sharing half term week with the mums who are working today. And we have neighbours who can both WFH who are juggling kids between meeting calls with neither of them going into the office this week.

Depends upon each couple’s approach to shared parenting. It’s important for parents (mums) to set ground rules early when it comes to time off. Plenty of women are higher earners these days.

My office would disagree.

My female boss and her husband have both booked a couple of days leave so they can cover half term between them.

My male head of department has booked the whole of half term week off.

Of the other senior people with children there are a variety of arrangements largely dependent upon the age of the kids, so those with teens or pre-schoolers might still be working. It is definitely not just women taking time off.

I mean it's similar here.

It would be EXTREMELY EASY to download the school term dates from their website in September (actually you can normally do it two years in advance).

Wouldn't it?

My boss is off all this week. A number of our exec/senior leadership team have days off across this week. My DH has 2 days off this week and I have 3. Must be the men you know!

That is what AIBU is for but this doesn’t concern or affect you so I’d say YABU to be so annoyed just for that reason.
I was always the mum to book time off on holidays because I wanted to be off with the children. Do you know that’s not the same for everyone you’re talking about?

Yes, it is.

Mumsnet does seem to fly in the face of the evidence every time this topic comes up.

Actually someone should use Mumsnet as a research sample to see if they can figure out why structural inequality doesn't apply here. Maybe lessons could be learned (it wouldn't surprise me to find out that while the dads are off, the mums still organised it).

I have taken two days off, DP has taken two days off and my retired parents are having then one day.

Since when don't men take time off for half term. I mean, I'm not but DD is 18 and would much rather have the house to herself for the week! I certainly took my fair share when DD was younger.

Most of the men with kids under about 14 in my office are off for either some or most of the week, and that seems fairly usual for most places I've worked over the last 20 years

I haven’t noticed this, I work with a few men who are off this week. Also a few women who are working this week and their husband is off.

I do think parents see this week as drawing the ‘short straw’ for annual leave, as it’s not a great time of year to have off. The Easter hols and May half term are more popular.

Yes because I already mentioned it in my OP.

DH is off this week, as always for February half term, but we are skiing so it’s a holiday.

I’m not actually sure what you’re referring to? What are you saying you’ve mentioned in your OP?

My husband has booked the whole week off and I'm off Wed-Fri so we can enjoy family time. If the men aren't taking holiday in school time, when are they taking it?

Mine takes random days off during the year when the kids are at school. What a luxury! He's also a manager so can roll over 10 and cash some back in

Wow...and have you told him that's totally unacceptable and he needs to be putting equal effort into parenting his children?

WildLeader

I get really annoyed too when I see blokes booking airplane seats away from the mum and the kids
oh my god!!!!

I've seen the opposite in my organisation this half term with more men than women with out of office notifications on today. We mostly do jobs that can be done remotely so it's refreshing to see that people are taking time away rather than trying to juggle working and entertaining children.

True, otoh employers often see the childcare as women’s work too, they’re less accommodating to men when it comes to parenting, slipping out for dentist appointments or school runs.

Can't speak for anyone else but my DH is taking 2/3 of the leave needed and I'm doing 1/3.

I admire but don't quite "get" when both have enough leave to frequently both be off as a family! I have generous leave and DH is standard but we still struggle to cover all school hols between us with a week away together.

We don't really have family on hand to help and youngest isn't keen on holiday clubs, so we rarely go away all together in school hols... yet I see so many families doing this! (Can't really work remotely on holiday either which some do).

Most of my male dominated office are off skiing with their families.

Agree. But according to @Coconutter24 you mustn't get annoyed by anything that does not affect you.

I started to think that my husband probably doesn't know how to use the calendar.

Yes it must be the men I know!

Currently 80% of people voting agree with me.

He can use it in the office I bet,

Isn't it law that people are entitled to book annual leave - even surgeons and airline pilots?